Drowning
by lnkmstr10
Summary: The beginning-and hopefully happy ending- of Spencer and Ashley, with my added plot twists.
1. Drowning

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

_-_

Chapter 1: Drowning

"_Every time I breathe I take you in_

_And my heart beats again_

_Baby I can't help it_

_You keep me drowning in your love_"

Backstreet Boys

-

A new school, oh joy. I stopped being excited about new schools and first days about ten years ago when I realized I'd be stuck in this hell called education for at least another decade. It wasn't that I necessarily hated starting over and meeting people. Sure, I'm shy, but I'm hardly unapproachable.

It's just that at sixteen, most people already have their clicks. Then it's awkward trying to talk to people and fit in, plus you have to make a good first impression and act way cooler than you actually are at first. …Did I mention how much I love first days?

I was already late thanks to my ass of a brother, Glen. I swore he took longer to get ready than me. When I mentioned this he said, "There's more to work with," to which I said, "You mean more work needed." Which explained why he drove extra slow to school. We lived five miles away from school, and it somehow took us fifteen minutes to get there. Kids on tricycles and big wheels were passing us.

Anyway, so I had to practically sprint to my locker to put my stuff up, breathing out heavy curses directed towards my brother. I rounded the corner by my locker and ran straight into another person who was running late.

"I'm so sorry!" I quickly apologized as I embarrassedly tried to help pick up the books I had knocked out of her hands.

There was a heavy sigh followed by, "Just leave them! Go wreak havoc someplace else," the girl bit off angrily. She could easily be described as beautiful, even with the ugly scowl she was currently wearing. She had brown curly hair that fell on her shoulders, and although she wore no logos, I knew her clothes were designer. I quickly looked down self-consciously at my own clothes.

I gave her a confused look but continued trying to pick up her books. "Sorry. It's my first day and my stupid brother has me running late and-" I immediately ceased my nervous babbling when I saw the uncaring look she sent my way. What was her deal?

She gave an annoyed sigh. "Whatever. Just give me my books. Some of us don't get freebies." She gave me a hard look and then quickly walked off.

After she left I huffed my annoyance. Who the hell did she think she was? Stupid bitchy brunette with her stupid curly hair!

My rant carried me all the way to my English class where, lucky for me, Mrs. Sunshine herself was. I purposely avoided eye contact as I made my way to the teacher to explain who I was and why I was late.

"Class promptness is not a suggestion, Ms. Carlin. New or not, the bell is a signal for class to begin." Wow, thanks Mrs. Darby, I thought ungratefully as I felt a blush coming to take place on my cheeks. Plenty embarrassed, I made my way to an empty seat, thankfully one that was away from her.

"Spencer Carlin?" a girl beside me whispered.

I turned surprised to see a pretty girl staring at me expectantly. I could tell she was on of the populars. "Yeah?" I asked confused, wondering why in the world some random girl was talking to me, and how she knew my name. Forget feeling flattered, it was kind of creepy.

"I'm Madison Duarte," she explained, as if that should clear things up. "I'm cheerleading captain." Ah, _that_ clears things up. "You think you can handle King High cheerleading?" she asked challenging.

We both turned as we heard an amused snort. And who else would it be? Yep, Curly. Damn I hated when I was right.

"Something funny?" Madison spat out. I was comforted to know that I wasn't the only one who didn't think Curly was very pleasant.

"Obviously. Normally people laugh when something is funny," the nameless girl retorted. Touché, I thought.

"And normally girls like guys." Madison obviously struck gold, or at least that's what I determined from the smug look on her face. And what was that comment supposed to mean?

"And _normally_ Syphilis can be treated. Terrible luck for you though, huh?"

I had to admit, Curly had some quick comebacks.

"Don't mind Ashley, Spencer. Plenty of jealous people attend this school. Guess she had to be like everyone in some way." Madison gave Ashley a bitchy smile and turned around, clearly satisfied.

Ashley, huh? I supposed it fit better than using her or Curly to refer to…well her.

The girl in question made a slow roll of her eyes and said, "Aw, how cute! That will make a great cheer," before giving me an appraising look and going back to her book.

Now how Mrs. Darby didn't hear their conversation or at least notice that drastic drop in temperature and increase in tension in the air, I'll never know. Somehow she didn't, but Mrs. Oblivious sure caught my distracted look and again called me out. Did she freaking have a sixth sense about me?!

Before I could find out, the bell rang and I was off to my next class; Math, much to my relief. Hey, just because I was a cheerleader didn't mean I didn't like school. Ok yeah, I was a nerd. I was just glad that Ashley and Madison weren't in my class, although I decided that Madison wouldn't be so bad, it was just when she was around Ashley. Ashley just seemed to bring out the worst in people.

My day passed without incident after that, and I was beginning to wonder- and worry- if my next days at King High would be as thrilling as this morning. I certainly couldn't claim to be bored, that was for sure.

I was at the gym to meet up with the squad and catch up with Glen. He was on the basketball team, and even though I would never ever tell him, he was very good. As if his ego needed another boost.

The actual meeting took about five minutes, but it took at least ten minutes to start because no one would shut up long enough to actually talk about cheer leading. I knew we were girls and liked to gossip and what not, but really, it was ridiculous. I got my stuff from the locker room and walked to the bleachers to sit down.

"Looks like we finished just in time," Madison said. "No getting eye raped." I was getting tired of those comments, so I knew Ashley was beyond annoyed. Although that could obviously be seen by the look on the brunette's face.

The rest of the squad laughed, rather clone-like in my opinion, and I turned to see Ashley sitting on the bleachers, wearing the same hateful look as Madison.

"Everyone else at school has seen you hot and sweaty Madison, so I figured why not me." Damn these girls were harsh.

A couple of the clones "ooo-ed" and I found myself feeling impressed. Madison, however, was not happy. She humphed and then stormed out. I shook my head at them both and walked to the bleachers to wait for Glen's practice to end.

"You here to watch sweaty guys slap each other on the ass?" Ashley asked with a quick glance in acknowledgment of my presence.

I laughed and turned, shocked that Curly, I mean Ashley, was actually talking to me in a normal volume. I shook my head. "My brother Glen plays," I said pointing to the curly blonde playing point guard.

"I'm sorry," she joked as she stared at him. "I'm Ashley by the way. Ashley Davies." She stuck out her hand.

I regarded it for a second, deciding whether her other hand concealed a knife or not. She seemed harmless enough, at least for now. "Spencer Carlin," I returned. "Nice to meet this version," I added with a smile.

She looked a little guilty. "Yeah, sorry about this morning. My mom insisted on having quality mother daughter time, which included confiscating my Ipod- she claimed she didn't know if I was listening to her or not…I wasn't- and making me late for school. Needless to say I wasn't in the best of moods."

"Were you late for the meeting?" I asked. She gave me a questioning look. "The cheerleading meeting," I elaborated.

"Ha!" she laughed loudly. "Oh, God no. No, no, no! Not even in Madison's wildest dreams." Ok, I got the point.

"Sorry, I just figured you were. I mean you seem the type."

"I'm going to assume you meant that as a compliment." Her tone held no anger, so I knew she wasn't mad. "And you- well I'm surprised you are into…this." She mimicked a cheer move, making me laugh.

"I did it back in Ohio, so I figured it would be a good way to make friends. Plus the popularity can't completely suck," I joked with a shrug, making her smile. It was definitely much better than the glare I thought was permanent.

"So, are you waiting on your brother?" Ashley casually asked.

"Yeah, he gets done at four."

"How about I give you a ride?" Ashley politely offered.

I thought about it for a moment. Ride with Ashley, who was actually turning out to be human, or Glen, who was a douche bag. "Glen," I called out, "I'm riding home with Ashley."

"Whatever," he yelled back, not even glancing my way. Prick.

"Alright, let's go, I've been here way longer than I should. Normally I leave after English, although the school apparently frowns upon that. Go figure," she shrugged. I laughed and followed her out to her car.

"Wow," was all I could manage. Did I mention she had a black Eclipse? Well she did. Brand new I might add.

"My family is pretty loaded," she answered, with out any trace of arrogance. "Apparently that makes up for seventeen years of no parenting." Ashley paused, as if considering how much she wanted to reveal to a stranger. "My dad is Raife Davies, a famous singer, and mom…well she got the luck of the draw with him. Now she wants nothing from him but child support. They're divorced," she explained unnecessarily. She gave me a look and I knew it was my turn.

"Well, my parents are still together. Dad's a counselor and Mom's a surgeon. I have two brothers, Glen and Clay. Clay was adopted when he was eight. And that's pretty much it." I realized how boring my story was in comparison to hers.

"Boyfriend?"

I shook my head. "No one serious enough to survive the move. I figure King High is a good place to start. You?" I must have imagined the questioning look that appeared on her face.

"Nope. None worthy of Ashley Davies at least," she puffed her chest out, causing me to laugh.

"Really? I'm sure the modesty is a real deal breaker," I teased, pleased at how natural this seemed.

"It's just a small part of the packaged deal." I laughed and we easily fell into conversation.

I really expected it to be awkward, considering the incident this morning and the fact that I don't even know her, but it wasn't. Ashley was very easy to talk to, and as she dropped me off at my house, I thanked her and couldn't help but smile at the brunette. I had made a friend, as second grade as that sounded.

Mom and Dad came home for dinner and asked about our day. Clay recounted how many comments he got about his clothes. By the way, Clay was black, so since he was adopted at the age of eight, he was raised white, hence the comments. Glen bragged about how he was the star on the court, which honestly, he probably was. I briefly mentioned my classes and told them about Ashley, conveniently leaving out our first encounter.

"She's smoking hot," Glen inserted. "Think she'd date me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not even if you were the only guy left," I retorted.

"Ha, we'll see. No one can resist Glen Carlin." Insert another eye roll.

"Whatever, Glen. Point is, she's not desperate, so no."

The conversation after that was boring, and we cleared the table and did our own thing until dinner. I didn't know about every one else, but I was eagerly looking forward to going back to school. Life is always much better when you actually have something positive to look forward to. Talk about a complete 180 from this morning.

--

**A/N: **_Ok, so this is my first SON story, and definitely my first slash fic. Hopefully I don't disappoint and I do justice to Ashley and Spencer (One can only hope). Anyway, this is a work in progress but I have more chapters ready to upload. Reviews are very much appreciated :) _

_Also each chapter title is the name of the song that the lyrics correspond with. So for copyright purposes, and for an example, the title Drowning is the name belonging to the Backstreet Boy's lyrics I used. This is to save time from doing this every chapter. Muchas gracias and enjoy ;)_

_Oh yeah, one more thing. *Insert sheepish smile*. All similarities to the show are intended, as are the differences. Don't worry, my own plot shines through, I just like some of the situations and phrasings Tom Lynch uses. Obviously, why else would I write fanfiction? Rambling sorry. Enjoy!_


	2. Won't Disagree

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Memories in the rest of the story will be in italics. Enjoy_

Chapter 2: Won't Disagree

"_And lately you make me weaker in the knees_

_And race through my veins, baby_

_Every time you're close to me_"

Kate Voegele

* * *

The next morning Glen got us to school late. Again. I gave him a glare and then walked to my locker.

"You know Carlin, this is becoming habit. Class promptness is not a suggestion," Ashley scolded me sternly.

I laughed and put my books in my locker. "Well Mrs. Darby, my brother is an ass, so there you go." I paused and changed subjects abruptly. "He likes you, you know."

"Your brother likes Mrs. Darby?" Ashley purposely misunderstood, acting shocked.

I laughed and hit her arm. "No, I mean he likes you. He thinks you are, and I quote, 'Smoking Hot.'"

She looked serious for a moment and then shrugged. "Well I am," she conceded.

"And very modest, of course," I joked as we walked to English.

"What can I say, some of us have it all." She raised her eyebrows suggestively and I couldn't help but laugh again.

I clasped my hands together. "And the rest of us mere mortals?"

"No worries, I put you in that category," she smiled.

I put my hand over my heart. "Why Ms. Davies, I'm honored."

Ashley laughed and nudged my shoulder with hers as we entered class, surprisingly on time, much to Mrs. Darby's chagrin, I was sure. I insisted that Ashley sit next to me, and she gave a look towards Madison before sighing and following me.

"What's with the charity, Spence," the Latina beauty demanded. I wondered when she decided she could give me a nickname. Was I supposed to call her Mad?

"At least charity is free. If she spent time with you, she'd have to pay for your services, just like every one else has," Ashley shot back. Here we go again, I thought with a sigh.

"Spencer, if you want to be on _my_ squad, you'll choose your…friends better." Only Madison could make the word friend seem so derogatory. And her squad, since when? Being captain didn't make her God, although she probably thought so. I was glad at least my inner voice worked, because my mouth wasn't working very well.

"Maybe you should save your crucifixion for another day," Ashley spat angrily, turning away from Mad- yeah, I totally laughed at that- and ended the conversation.

I wanted to ask about the story between her and Mad (insert another laugh from me) but I didn't want to seem nosy; plus the fact that Mrs. Darby, as always, was hyper aware of me. It was kind of creepy.

I pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote my question. Ashley glanced at it and quickly wrote back _Long story_. _Some other time. What's your number?_

For some reason that made me very happy. I guessed because it concreted our friendship. Smiling, I wrote down my number and asked for hers. I waited for the paper to come back and was disappointed when she didn't respond. Deciding that maybe she was actually paying attention, I went to do the same. I was stopped by my phone vibrating in my pocket.

_-This is much faster. Now you have my number too-_

_-You didn't write back. I thought you were paying attention-_

I heard her laugh.

_-Hell no. Short of her dancing naked, I'm not paying attention.-_

_-Thanks for the mental image Ash. I'll be seeing that in my sleep-_

I felt a mixture of fear and giddiness over the nickname, and large amount of stupidity. I was acting like I never had a friend before, and after how lame I was behaving now, I was wondering how I'd ever had any before.

There was a pause as she read my text, and I wondered if the nickname was too soon in our friendship. When exactly was it ok to give nicknames? Oh how I wished I had a _Friendship for Dummies_ book.

-_Your brother has a crush on her and you dream of her? Creepy family_**-**

I laughed and inwardly sighed with relief as I turned to her and smiled, once again being thankful for her friendship.

We stopped texting as Mrs. Darby decided to walk around the room. Somehow I knew she knew I was texting. I know it sounded paranoid, but I didn't care. And on top of that, she gave us homework. Ashley had some nice adjectives to describe Mrs. Darby as we left. I told Ashley about my theory about Mrs. Darby's "Spencer sense." Ashley laughed loudly and asked if I also thought the FBI was after me. It did seem stupid when put like that. Still, I had a strong feeling about it.

We promised to meet up for lunch and went our separate ways. Math was beyond boring. I had already covered the material in Ohio, so I sat and doodled all over my notebook. I had contemplated texting Ashley but didn't want to seem intrusive or needy. Actually, my contemplating consisted of me picking my phone up and putting it back down about five times. Sad, I know.

The clock seemed to be in slow motion as I stared at it. The only reason I knew time was moving at all was because I was counting every minute until it was time for lunch. Needless to say, as the bell rang I hurriedly left class.

_-Is it a law that the caf must serve crap everyday-_

I smiled as I saw the text, and for the fact that it was from Ashley.

_-Lol I think so. Ohio was the same. So nothing good?-_

"Nothing even recognizable," Ashley said as I walked over to her. "Forget this, let's go out," she decided.

"Are we allowed to?" I asked to the air, as Ashley had already grabbed my hand and pulled me to her car. Not that I resisted.

We arrived at a small café called Beebo's. It was a quaint place on the corner of the street. The light blue paint made it seem inviting, and if that didn't get you in, the fresh smell of baked goods would.

We sat at a table outside and ate our sandwiches.

"So better than mystery meat?" Ashley asked through her sandwich.

"Definitely. At least these look properly prepared." Ashley laughed and nodded her agreement.

"So, what's the deal with you and Madison?" I finally convinced myself to ask.

She debated with a while, and I was disappointed, thinking she wasn't going to answer. Finally she sighed, and I smiled to myself in eagerness. "Well believe it or not, her and I used to be best friends. Then she started dating Aiden. Well he started liking me, so they broke up and he and I eventually went out. Ever since then she's hated me. And it's completely mutual. She totally changed and became the bitch you now know. She never forgave me and we never tried to become friends again." I felt like there was way more to the story but didn't want to push it. I was just glad that she trusted me enough to tell me this much.

"See, that wasn't so long," I joked.

She laughed. "Well that's more of a summary. There are so many little things, it's hard to tell them all." She checked her watch and sighed. "Guess we better get back to school."

My lack of excitement matched hers. "Oh, we have to pay," I remembered.

"I already paid." I gave her a confused look. "When you were getting us a table," she elaborated.

"You didn't have to do that," I told her softly, giving her a smile.

She waved my words off and said, "What's the point in having Raife Davies as your dad if you don't enjoy the benefits." I knew she was acting like it wasn't a big deal, and really, it wasn't, but I was please nonetheless.

On the way back from school I found myself thinking about the enigma that was Ashley. She was a bitch to people, yet I had gotten to see the softer, lighter side of her as well. It made me wonder what people had done to make her put up a wall, and wonder what I had done to make her tear it down.

I must have been staring at her, because she got a smile on her face and asked me what I was thinking about. I looked confused for a minute before blushing when I realized that I had in fact been staring pretty intently.

"A blush?" Ashley teased, "Now I definitely have to know." She smiled again.

"I-" I paused, trying to think of an explanation that didn't sound creepy. "I was thinking about you."

Way to go Spencer, that's completely normal and not creepy. I mentally slapped myself.

"Oh? Do tell," Ashley said with interest, favoring me with a pretty smile.

I laughed and shook my head. "I didn't mean it like that." She fake pouted and I laughed again. "I was just thinking about how different you are from when I first met you, even if it was just recently."

"You've changed me already Spence," she said in an impressed tone. I didn't even process the jest, all I thought about was how much better that nickname sounded when it came from Ashley's mouth.

"This happening after one meal? So tell me Ashley, what happens after two meals, total commitment?" I gave her a mock serious look.

She shook her head. "That usually takes two dates. And ice cream," she added as an afterthought. I laughed, I couldn't help it, she was just…just something.

When we arrived back at school after our lunch, Ashley eagerly suggested skipping. I was sorely tempted but knew I couldn't miss, especially not my second day, and especially not with Paula Carlin being my mom. We parted ways and I thanked her for lunch again, and again she waved off my thanks.

I was in history, bored as ever, absently tracing the pattern of my notebook when my phone vibrated. I smiled as I pulled it out, already knowing it was from Ashley.

_-Do you have cheering after school?-_

_-Yeah, til 3:30-_

_-Lame! Want a ride-_

_-You staying after?_

_-Yeah gotta talk to some one about absences-_

_-ok well yeah, sounds good. Thanks._

_-No problem_**-**

This week was turning out be a good one so far. Who knew one person could effect your day, even though Ashley would "modestly" tell you that herself. I'm sure she'd have a field day if I she knew I already wanted to text her again. Not that I couldn't, it was just…maybe my pride? Well whatever it was, it made history go by a lot faster. Apparently doodling really sped up time.

Hours later I found myself in the gym, rehearsing cheers with the squad. Nothing pleased Madison, and I couldn't decide if we really did suck, or if she was just a bitch. Somehow I felt sure of the true answer. I couldn't hide the smile that fell into place when I saw Ashley sitting in the bleachers, looking as if she'd rather be anywhere else, which I'm sure was true. She gave me a wave, which I returned. My coordination seemed to desert me after that, and Madison quickly appeared by my side.

She gave me an unimpressed look. "I don't know how they did it in Ohio, and I don't care. But this squad is only for those who can handle it." She stared at me for a moment and then turned and dismissed us until tomorrow. None of us complained; we were all thrilled to be done for the day. For some reason, no one wanted to hear Madison bitch anymore…go figure.

"Talk about stick up the ass," Ashley commented dryly as I walked over to sit next to her. I hit her on the arm as I saw some of the girls pass us. I really didn't feel like word getting back to Madison. Like she needed anymore wood for her fire.

Even though I was pretty pissed at Madison's bitchiness, I felt a little obligated to defend the captain. "Well, I was messing up towards the end," I shrugged. "You're a bad distraction."

"Who, me? I was just innocently sitting here, using my mind powers to strangle Madison." Ashley gave a sweet smile.

"Well I did well until you got here." I mentally slapped myself for how it sounded but tried to laugh it off. Her eyes quickly flashed to mine at my comment before leaving just as fast.

"I can't help how damn fine I am," she retorted, effectively breaking the tension that had suddenly formed. She stood up and said, "You ready to go?"

"Well," I drawled out, "I was hoping to catch some butt slap-" Ashley tugged my hand and pulled me along, cutting me off. She rolled her eyes and laughed at me and she released my hand and we walked to her car.

I invited her inside as we arrived at my house.

"One date and I already get to meet the parents? Must have been one hell of a sandwich." I elbowed her and she had the decency to appear chastised.

"Mom? Dad?" I yelled as I looked around the down stairs. "They said they'd be home," I said confused when I didn't hear any answer. I shrugged. "Well if you want you can just stay for dinner."

Her face lit up and I felt inwardly pleased that I was the cause. "Sure, I'd like that," she said quietly, giving me a small smile that made her seem almost vulnerable. "Thanks!" she added quickly and slightly loud. Ashley looked embarrassed over her lack of volume control.

I tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. Ashley joined me a moment later, so I could hardly feel guilty. "Tourettes much?" I joked

"Why Dr. Carlin, I do think that's the one thing I haven't been diagnosed with yet." Ashley gave me an impressed look.

I stretched back my arms and gave her a bored look. "Well I am amazing, what can I say?"

"Seems my modesty has already rubbed off on you." She raised her eyebrows and gave me a pointed look as I laughed.

"Hey Spencer, I need- well hey," Glen's annoyed tone rapidly changed as he spotted Ashley.

I rolled my eyes. Ashley smiled slightly and gave him a wave. I, meanwhile, mimicked gagging motions.

"I'm Glen. You've probably heard of me. Basketball pro." If I wasn't throwing up before, I sure as hell was now.

"Ashley," she answered politely. "And I'm not big on Cougar basketball." I snickered and corrected in her ear, "Cobra." She shrugged it off.

"Well now that I'm playing you should rethink that decision." He gave her a suggestive smile. Gross! Could he be any more annoying and obvious? He was practically eye raping her.

"Go away, Glen. Don't you have porn you can go look at or something," I suggested, sarcasm dripping from my words.

He walked away, giving a last smile to Ashley. "Not on my computer!" I yelled up the stairs after him.

"Boys are such pigs," Ashley said with disgust as she watched him leave.

I was glad she though so too, and also that she wasn't flattered by Glen's attention.

We headed up to my room and sat on my bed to watch tv. Remembering Madison practically drooling while explaining about the Homecoming Dance, I decided to ask Ashley about it.

"Ha!" Ashley scoffed, leaving me no doubt that she wasn't exactly pro dance.

"So that's a no?" I asked as she laughed.

"That's a hell no," she affirmed. "I've had plenty of horrible dance memories to convince me to avoid them."

"Well I don't see how I'll find a date. I probably wouldn't go anyway, but Madison is making us go," I complained, aware of how petulant I sounded, and not particularly caring.

"I'm sure that even if you don't find a date you won't be alone."

I gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

I was rewarded by an incredulous look from Ashley. "Well first of all, you're the new girl, which translates into fresh meat. Second," she ticked off, "you're a cheerleader, and already on the popular. Third, you're hot, so people would be coming up to you even with out all the other stuff." She said it like it was obvious, and I couldn't help the blush that covered my cheeks, and the pleasure that coursed through me.

"Well thanks" I said shyly, biting my cheek to clear my blush, and was rewarded by her nice smile.

Nice? How freaking old was I? Could I at least act like I had had a friend before? I was at least glad that I wasn't vocalizing any of these particular thoughts.

"So why don't you go?" I asked, keen to end my stupid thoughts, and equally curious. "I'm serious," I said as she laughed. "You obviously know a lot of guys, plus you're-" my voice dropped as I thought of how to delicately phrase my thoughts. "-well you're hot," I admitted. Yeah, way to go Spencer. Nice and delicate. I rolled my eyes at myself. "Guys would die to be with you," I finished somewhat lamely and very quickly, hoping to cover my "delicately" put words.

She considered for a moment. "Well that's all true," she agreed as if she was letting me in on a secret. "And I appreciate it, but all the same, I'm not going."

She must have sensed my disappointment because she put a hand on mine and apologized again. "I'm really sorry, Spence."

I leaned back against my pillow. "No, it's ok, I promise. I wasn't trying to pressure you into going or anything," I assured her with a smile.

Did I mention how much I loved that nickname?

"You'll have a good time, even if I'm not there and you're stuck with Queen Bitch."

I laughed and hit her arm lightly. "Well that Queen bitch is my ticket to the squad."

"Too bad it's also her ticket to hell," Ashley conceded.

"Ash," I laughingly chastised her, pushing her playfully.

"I'm going to have to hide all these bruises," she pouted playfully, her eyes looking sad.

I laughed but felt a little guilty about hitting her so much. I grabbed her arm to inspect her "bruises" as she called them. "Ow, ow," Ashley whined.

I smiled and poked her arm. "Does it hurt here?"

She stuck out her lower lip and nodded, giving me a brave face.

"You were a very brave little girl, Ms. Davies." I patted her hand fondly and gave her a reassuring smile.

The beaming smile that graced her face made me laugh and again appreciate having her as a friend. And again question how I had ever had any friends before.

Ashley headed home shortly after. Her mom called and _insisted_ Ashley meet guy number seven. Ash's words, not mine. It definitely sucked to see her go, but I instantly felt better when she promised to call me later.

It was going on ten o'clock and she still hadn't called. And no, I wasn't waiting by the phone or anything, sheesh; I left a few times to use the bathroom. During dinner, I was so distracted that my family gave up on including me in any conversations.

And anytime I heard a noise, I immediately (and excitedly) would check my phone, only to be disappointed when I realized it was Glen scooting his chair forward, or Clay clinking his fork against the plate. Yeah, I know, I was crazy.

Needless to say, but ten o'clock I was beyond antsy.

By eleven I was borderline insane.

She finally called at 11:37- what, so I knew the time, so what? I toned down my giddiness, or so I hoped, and took a big breath before answering.

"Hey!" Yeah, I sounded completely cool. Insert eye roll.

Ashley laughed softly at my giddy answer. "Hey. Sorry it took so long. Seven insisted on getting to know me. Ugh, he was such a perv! I've never been hugged so much by one person. And he always found ways to touch me. Ew!" she ranted. "It sucked not even being able to text you."

I smiled. So it sucked for her too! "I was going to text you but I didn't want to interrupt." Which I knew was only slightly true. Mainly I didn't to seem as crazy as I really was.

"God, I wish you would have. I was dieing Spence." Ok, so maybe she was being a little over dramatic, but I quickly overlooked that. The fact that she missed me was still resounding in my mind.

"Christine Davies exposure should be limited," she finished, bringing me back to our conversation.

"Well I'm sorry you suffered," I laughed, trying my best to sound somewhat sincere. "If it helped, I was bored to death.

She paused as if considering. "…yeah, it helps a little." I could hear her smile and it made one appear on my face as well.

We talked for a while, and when I found myself yawning, I glanced at the clock and was shocked when I saw it was 12:30. Damn, we had already talked for an hour.

"Well sleeping beauty, sounds like you need some sleep," Ashley teased softly, and I couldn't help but wonder at the unknown tone in her voice, and couldn't help but be a little excited by it, though I didn't know why.

"Well not all of us wake up beautiful like you," I joked back, subconsciously lowering my voice as well.

A comfortable silence fell over for a moment before she broke it. "Alright, night Spence." Again the soft tone was in her voice, making me smile at it and the use of my nickname. Maybe one day I would get over it, but part of me hoped not.

"Night Ash." I turned onto my stomach as I hung up the phone, smiling as I put it on my night stand. Ten minutes later I still had that stupid smile on my face. It stayed until I fell asleep, or at least I assumed it went away.

Thus began our nightly ritual of pillow talk. I figured we would run out of things to say; I mean we talked every night, plus hung out every day. Yet somehow we never did. And through it all we got a lot closer. We were best friends.

I remember when our "bff" status became official.

_We were driving to get ice cream from the gas station, part of our movie night ritual. The car was stopped at a red light, and we were some how on the subject of our friendship. Ashley had commented about how close we got, and I made a joke about how I just wanted the free rides in a nice care and that I really couldn't stand her. _

_She laughed. "Whatever, Spence. You know you're my best friend." And it's true, I did know. But that didn't stop the giddiness from building up inside, making me smile like a freak. I realized I did that a lot, smiled like a complete idiot._

_"I know," I admitted shyly, and when Ashley's face broke out into a huge grin, I knew my smile would be a permanent fixture on my face. And that was before she hugged me. _

_Once her arms wrapped me, I was worried my face would split from the enormous size of my grin. I was sure she felt my smile, and if not that, than at least my heart beating fast. She didn't mention anything about it, for which I was grateful. I wasn't ready to answer any questions. I didn't even know if I had the answers. All I knew was that I had Ashley and that somehow, for the better, our friendship had changed after that._


	3. Chemicals React

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Thanks to my lovely reviews :) Reviews are always appreciated. On a happy and sad note, I'm almost done writing the story so WOOO!!_

_-  
_

Chapter 3: Chemicals React

"_You make me feel out of my element_

_Like I'm walking on broken glass_"

Aly & AJ

-

School wasn't any better, but I guess it wasn't any worse either. Mrs. Darby still had it out for me, but now I think it was hatred mixed with admiration because I had an A in her class. Much to her disappointment, I assumed.

All the other people who made A's on tests and papers received a smiley face sticker, or at least a complementary note. All I got was my number grade. I couldn't complain though, it was better than Ashley's papers.

Mrs. Darby was sweet enough to not even put a grade on Ashley's work. All she got was a paper assaulted by red pen with a note that said, "Do you really want to see me next semester?" Always pleasant that Mrs. Darby.

On this particular day, we were in the locker room after gym. Our physical activities always managed to include Madison showing off some new, hot dance. I couldn't really complain though, we got credit for it.

Anyway, we were changing back into our regular clothes when Madison decided it was too quiet for her liking.

"Hurry girls, cover up while Ashley is in here. She might get turned on," Madison sneered.

I know normal could be boring, but oh how I wished for it in these moments with Madison and Ashley.

"Ha ha," Ashley faked laughed, "wishful thinking Madison."

Of course people were staring. You couldn't help but do that when these two were involved.

I pulled lightly on Ashley's arm. "Come on Ash," I pleaded.

"Yeah, go on Ashley. Listen to your girlfriend."

Ok, Madison obviously didn't appreciate me trying to save her ass.

"Fuck off, Madison," Ashley said vehemently, stepping closer to the Latina.

"Don't worry, Spencer isn't my type. I'll leave her all for you," she smiled.

Oh shit, I thought, and rightfully so. Ashley was already on the edge, but when Madison included me, Ashley snapped.

Oh yeah, and what the hell was up with that? What did I do to Madison? Was carrying the equipment _every_ practice some how managing to piss her off?

What ensued was one hell of a cat fight. Madison slapped Ashley's face hard, and I knew she had definitely crossed a line. I quickly looked at Ashley and saw the uncontrollable rage in her eyes. I swiftly stepped in and pushed Ashley back against a locker, stepping in between her and Madison, desperately hoping that that would end things.

Ashley tried to push me away but I stood my ground. "Let's go, Ash. Please."

Her brown eyes searched my face, and I knew she recognized the desperation in my plea and in my eyes. She sighed and nodded and I stepped away from her.

"Come back when you can fight your own battles," Madison called out as we walked away.

I threw my arms up in question at Madison before I turned from her and pulled Ashley into the hall.

"God I hate her!" Ashley yelled to the hallway, which was thankfully empty. "I can't believe we were ever friends. What a bitch!"

I racked my brain for how to calm her down. I'd never dealt with this side of her before. My first day was nothing compared to now.

"Yeah," I agreed, "must suck having a bitch for a best friend." I gave her a pointed look, feeling pleased when she laughed.

"Thanks for in there…you know, for-" she shyly broke off, and I was shocked to see vulnerability in her normally confident self.

I mentally stored this, knowing this was a rare occasion.

I gave her a smile and put my arms around her in a hug. My smile widened as she hugged me tighter, and I wondered if she was as comforted by my scent as I was by hers. Yeah, she smelled good, but it wasn't just that. I guess it was just the fact that it was _her_ smell that made it so reassuring to me.

Yeah, that definitely cleared it up and didn't sound stalkerish.

We went to her house after school. Glen had made a pass at Ashley, for which I was surprisingly grateful, as it made her forget about Madison, at least for the moment. He was persistent, I'd give him that…and annoying, and a prick, but I digress. So we were sitting on her bed and she on a roll about how disgusted she was by his come ons.

"All guys at this school suck," Ashley decided.

"Well Aiden's pretty cute," I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant.

Ashley gave me a disgusted look. "Spence, you totally lost some serious cool points."

"What, he is," I said indignantly, scooting back on her bed.

"Ugh, he is so not even my type."

"Oh? And what is?" I asked, my interest and curiosity piqued. "Wait I know! The skater!" She rolled her eyes. "No? Ok, the emo punk rocker!"

Ashley laughed and hit me with a pillow. "No, they are all so gross. They think hi means 'please get in my pants.'"

"No, it's the kiss!" I said with enthusiasm, glad I could finally talk to some one about it. "They are all so rough, and I swear they try to suffocate you with their tongue." I mimicked gagging actions.

"Uck, I know," she agreed disgustedly. "It's a good thing they aren't the only choice." She leaned back to sit next to me and as she did, her hand landed on mine and my whole body immediately tensed. A strange feeling shot through me, and I tried to figure out what it was and also why my hand wouldn't move.

I looked anywhere but at her, and my eyes fell on a picture of her and a girl, their arms wrapped around each other. Maybe I was being paranoid, but my mind couldn't help but piece everything together, from the picture to Madison's constant comments.

Ashley moved her hand slightly, perhaps to take it back, and the sensation coursed through me again, making my insides clench. Her unreadable gaze met my questioning one, and after what felt like forever, she finally fully removed her hand. My hand seemed to gain function again, and I quickly- and awkwardly, I'm sure- moved my hand to my hair.

I don't remember the conversation after that, assuming there was any. I just know that for the most part it was quite and completely tense, and not to mention awkward. I didn't stay for dinner like I had planned, and I made some excuse to leave. I don't remember what it was, but it didn't matter, we both knew it was lame and totally fake.

She called me that night, much to my surprise, but I didn't answer. I knew I'd have to deal with it, but I was secretly, and perhaps naively, hoping a few extra hours would help. They didn't. As I fell asleep, I wondered why, out of everything that had happened, the only thing I could really think about was how soft her hand was.

As expected, I didn't sleep well. It was hard to sleep when your dreams were full of Madison screaming homo at you and everyone looking at you like you were diseased. And of course Ashley just giving you her confident smile like she knew a secret and wouldn't tell you. Damn you all, I cursed my dream inhibitors as I prepared for school.

Ashley didn't call again, for which I was glad, although part of me couldn't help but feel guilty over my actions. Not to mention sad that we didn't get to talk last night. Sometimes I really don't get me.

---

Glen drove us to school -surprisingly on time- but even that didn't brighten my day. I couldn't squelch this feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I instantly regretted my choice of yogurt. I doubted it would look half as good if it came back up.

I was walking to my locker when I spotted Ashley, and I hated how my heart sped up. Deciding I wasn't ready yet, and asking myself when I would be, I turned and walked the other way. I saw Madison and Aiden as I walked to English. Was this National Awkward Week?! What the hell!?

"Hey Spencer," Madison said, looping an arm through Aiden's.

"Hey," Aiden nodded towards me.

"Hey," I returned. Wow, what a great conversation.

"So did you find a date yet?" Madison asked.

Gah, that freakin effing dance.

"Uh no, I think I'm just going to fly solo."

Everyone knows that's nicer way of saying no one asked you.

Madison stepped closer to Aiden. "Aiden and I are going together," she rubbed in my face, as if it wasn't already a given.

"That's nice," I tried to infuse some sincerity in my words, although I was currently wondering how I could somehow manage to fuse with the cement and disappear without them noticing.

"What are you doing with _her_?" Ashley's deeper voice asked, causing all eyes to look at her.

She looked pretty, and Aiden obviously approved, given his blatant staring.

Great, was it too much to ask to be hit by a random crashing airplane? Not full of passengers, of course.

Madison nudged Aiden with her elbow and ended his staring. "We were-" he began.

"Because maybe I can give him something you can't," Madison interrupted.

"What, a rash?" Ashley countered. Score one Ashley, I thought.

"Let's go, baby. This," she gestured between me and Ashley, "gay pride show is getting old." She tugged Aiden's arm-or more appropriately, leash- and pulled him away.

She really was all hung up on her gay routine. I was really getting sick of it. Really.

"Bye," Ashley said with false excitement, giving the pair an enthusiastic wave which turned into a middle finger.

She turned to me and I felt the biggest urge to run. I could outrun her, right? Catch her off guard and get a good head start? Thankfully logical Spencer was still around, and she convinced me to stay.

"So I called you last night."

No guilt trip, no accusation, just a simple statement, yet still my insides squirmed guiltily.

"Yeah, sorry. I fell asleep early."

It's bad when you could hear how unconvincing your own lie sounded. Plus that fact that she called at like seven, so more than likely I was awake.

She was quiet for a moment, silently regarding me. I felt a little unnerved by it. "I freaked you out, didn't I?" she finally asked.

I gave her what I hoped was a confused look. "No."

I never did play dumb well, at least not when I tried it came naturally.

"Come on, I so did," she prodded.

I nervously played with the straps of my book bag, desperate to have something to do with my hands. "Maybe a little," I admitted.

"Sorry about that. My therapist diagnoses it as 'me liking to have control over people.' I say I just like freaking people out." She shrugged.

I could tell she wanted to get past it, and I was more than willing to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Well it worked," I confessed, not quite being able to hide my smile.

The relief on her face was evident. "Good." She pretended to pull out a notebook and write on it. "It has been noted."

She smiled and I couldn't help but smile in return. Things work back to normal, and just in time for Satan's class.

As I read my text, I tried to imagine how I would have survived English without Ashley. I most likely wouldn't have. It was sad that my saneness depended so much on her, and not just because I was sure Ashley was a little crazy herself.

-**Cant do lunch. Cheer meeting :(**-

I sent in response to her lunch offer.

-**Well I'm heading out early then**-

-**Sure I see, leave me here to suffer­-**

**-Aw poor baby. Sorry, no use staying**-

-**Not even for me?**-

-**Haha hey I did come to English didn't I­-**

**­-Ok fine leave, but you owe me a favor-**

**-I'm Ashley Davies. Me talking to you is a favor-**

I laughed. Her cockiness was just unbelievable. I couldn't help but like it though. It's what made her…her.

-**Well thanks your highness. Now pay attention. No more cheating-**

**-So you say Spence- ­**

I smiled again at her cockiness-and my nickname. And no, I still hadn't gotten over it.

We stopped texting after that, and in the corner of my eye I could see Ashley shifting from sleeping to writing. I knew if I even thought about sleep, Mrs. Darby would have her dogs on me. Although that would be hard, considering I was convinced she lived with hundreds of cats. Yep, she was most likely one of those ladies, despite the fact that she was married. I still wonder what guy was _that _desperate.

Having practice during lunch meant that not only did I not get to eat, I also still had to wait on Glen for practice- lucky me. I sat in the bleachers, texting Ashley to let her know how bad I was suffering. I momentarily looked up from my phone and found Aiden staring at me. Totally not creepy.

I gave him what was supposed to be a flirty smile, but ended up being an overzealous, creepy smile combined with me knocking my phone off my lap. I was sure I looked like a twelve year old girl seeing her crush for the first time.

He smiled back, and I couldn't help but blush. I knew it was dangerous territory, what with him being Ashley's ex and Madison's current flavor of the week; still, all that just made him that much more appealing. You always want what you can't have. So true. But there was no harm in looking, right?

I kept stealing glances at him, wondering how he could not be Ashley's type. They were both hot, wasn't that supposed to be all everyone thought required? Hell if I knew. But maybe someday I would understand the full Madison, Ashley, Aiden story. I wrongly thought I wanted to know.


	4. Coming Back For More

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Last chapter was kind of short so I decided a double update was in order. I promise the chapters do get longer._

_As always- Thanks to my lovely reviews! :) Reviews are always appreciated.  
_

Chapter 4: Coming Back for more

"_I don't wanna spend another night, trying to figure out why you're always on my mind. _

_Whoa, you keeping me coming back for more_"

Ashlee Simpson

-

Friday was here, the day of the dance. One shower and six outfits later, I was finally ready to go, or as ready as I'd ever be.

I walked downstairs and was shocked to see Glen and Clay dressed up. "You two are going?"

"Yep, with Madison," Glen bragged.

I gave him a strange look. "Isn't she with Aiden?"

Glen snorted and rolled his eyes. "She realized she needed a real man."

"And when she couldn't find one, she asked Glen," Clay deadpanned, and we shared a high five over his insult.

Glen shot Clay a glare and turned to me. "You going solo?"

"No, I'm just riding with you two because I want to," I retorted, throwing in an eye roll for good measure. Honestly it wasn't that dumb of a question, but who was I to pass on an opportunity to rile Glen? "What about you, Clay?"

"I'm going with Chelsea," he said with a shy, sweet smile on his face.

"Yeah, you know, the girl he got his ass beat over," Glen shot in.

"Language Glen," my dad chastised as he walked in the room. "Well don't you just look beautiful, Spence," he beamed at me. I blushed and hugged him tightly.

"No favorites my ass," Glen muttered under his breath. I maturely stuck my tongue out at him.

"Ok, well have fun you three. Be responsible," my dad said with a pointed look at Glen. "Be home no later than 12:30."

We all said our byes and got into the car. I immediately text Ashley as we rode over, telling her for about the fifth time today that I wished she would come. She was taking it well enough, but I knew she got tired of me talking about it. I was hoping I could break her down, but Ashley Davies was as stubborn as she was beautiful and confident.

"Spence, you made it!" Madison ambushed me with a hug as soon as I walked in.

I swear she was staking out the door waiting for me. It made me wonder how many awkward '_not-Spencer_' hugs she had given.

And what the hell did I say about her using that nickname? If Ashley were here she would punch her; though maybe that wouldn't be for the best. Ah, screw it, _Mad _deserved it.

I briefly wondered if Madison knew what a smart ass inner Spencer was. Deciding that her mind reading abilities were lacking, I walked around. I figured it looked less awkward than if I was just sitting alone at a table with only my phone for company. Although checking my phone every thirty seconds for a text probably didn't help. I quickly forgot about it though when I saw I had a text from Ashley.

-**Hey Cinderella, how's the ball- **

I laughed. Leave it to her to make me smile with something random like that. I started to text back but decided on a better option. I walked outside and called her and laughed as her picture id flashed on the screen.

She had taken my phone and done an '_Ashley Davies photo shoot_,' saying that now I could see her whenever we weren't together, but that I had to promise not to sell them on the internet. Her and her modesty.

"Hey hey, what's up?" her low voice answered. Just hearing her voice instantly made my night so much better.

"Any way I could convince her highness to grace us mere mortals with her presence," I teasingly asked.

"Dance sucks that bad?" she asked distractedly.

"Not really, just would be better with you here. So, please," I begged, not caring that I was sounding childish.

She sighed, and I couldn't decide if it was out of frustration or regret. "You know I don't do dances, Spence."

I tried to hide my disappointment. "Yeah I know, but it would just be us, and you can leave whenever and I'll never ever ask again."

Cue in desperation.

I heard her sigh again but she didn't say anything else. "Ash?" I asked uncertainly. "Ash?" I repeated.

"Bye, Spencer," she laughed quietly into the phone before hanging up.

I stared at my phone for a good two minutes after she hung up as if I expected it to be able to explain what had just transpired.

Muttering to myself about crazy best friends, I sat down on the edge of a fountain, playing Pac Man on my phone in hopes that it would tune out the sound of couples making out.

"Damn, it really does suck with out me." I turned my head as I heard Ashley's voice. I immediately got up from my seat and walked over to her.

I couldn't contain my ear splitting grin as I saw her. She looked amazing in her halter top black dress. Her curly hair was partly pulled back, elegantly framing her face. It wasn't just the outfit that made her beautiful, though; it was the gorgeous timid smile on her face and that rare, vulnerable look in her warm brown eyes. She met me half way and stopped a few feet from me.

"You came," I stated unnecessarily, as if I still needed to remind myself. It was either that or pinch myself, and I bruise easy.

She nodded and smiled again. "I did."

I looked her over again. "You look great," I told her shyly, wondering why my voice slightly wavered.

Her chocolate eyes settled on mine, and I felt my heart pound a little harder. "Thanks, you look pretty too." I blushed as expected and smiled back.

I saw her playing with the ring on her right hand. "You nervous?"

"A little," she admitted, much to my surprise. I was expecting a cocky reply.

"Well come on." I offered her my hand and gave her a reassuring smile.

Her eyes found mind again, and then her soft, warm hand was in mine and I was leading us inside.

Once in, I gave her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. We stayed close to each other, as if we were afraid that any distance further than three inches would separate us the rest of the night.

"It's not so bad," Ashley admitted quietly. I smiled and nodded my agreement.

I should have known not to let her say that. It's like when you say, '_It can't get any worse_,' because as soon as you say that, it gets worse.

Cue in Madison.

"Were all the gay bars closed?"

She of course looked gorgeous in her short dress, which was some how not considered inappropriate, even though the cut was mid thigh and the neckline was about mid stomach.

Ok, maybe that neckline was an exaggeration, but not by much.

"And now it is," Ashley deadpanned.

I found myself taking a step closer to Ashley. "Would you lay off?" I asked tiredly.

"Spencer what- oh I get it!" Madison interrupted herself, speaking slowly as if she had just realized something. To me, it was worse than her normal bitchiness. "We can't have lesbians on our squad. You might check us out or feel us up or something. You're off."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now what a minute! Me gay? How did it turn into this? I turned towards Ashley and gave her an annoyed look. I couldn't help but feel mad at her for his.

Oh wait, Madison wasn't done.

"Especially if you're friends with a dyke who gets knocked up," she continued. "We don't want all this bad rep associated with the squad."

I felt Ashley stiffen beside me and my anger quickly dissipated. What in the hell was going on!?

"You told her?" Ashley demanded of some one behind us. I turned and saw Aiden.

Madison put her hands on her hip. "And you got rid of it, you whore."

"Ash, I'm-" but Ashley cut him off with her hand. He tried a different approach. "We didn't get rid of it. It was a miscarriage," Aiden quietly explained, his eyes never leaving Ashley.

Oh holy shit! Remember me wanting to know the full story? Forget it, I changed my mind. Let's rewind!

Apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't know. "You're an ass!" Madison hissed angrily, slapping Aiden's cheek hard before walking out.

Ashley stared at the ground, but I could see the sad look in her normally vibrant eyes. "I wanted it, so much. You know, finally have some one who could love me for me," she explained sadly. I think I felt my heart break.

"Ash," Aiden said quietly, moving to put his arms on her shoulder before quickly changing his mind. "I never meant for this to happen." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"But it did," she said pointedly. She grabbed my hand and led me to her car.

"Going for some alone time with you girlfriend?" Oh good, I was worried Madison had run out of comments.

"You know what, I'm glad I'm off the squad. I like not having to listen to you bitch about everything, whether it's cheerleading or anything else. And Ashley's worth twenty of you, so get over yourself and stop using her to cover your own insecurities." I wasn't sure where the anger came from, but I kind of liked it.

Madison paused for a second as she took in my words. "You're making a mistake choosing her. She'll burn you. Don't think that you are anything to her besides a number. She'll always want more than you can give. She's Ashley Davies, there will always be some one new to catch her interest, and when they do, you'll have nothing to fall back on because you're giving it all up now."

Madison shook her head at me, obviously satisfied with doubtful look that crossed my face momentarily, confirming the impact her words were having on me. She gave us a hard look before walking back inside- hopefully to get thrown up on.

"She was off her game," Ashley attempted to joke, but it fell flat. I wasn't in the mood and I wanted answers.

I wordlessly climbed into the passenger side.

Ashley bit her lip and quickly looked at me before averting her eyes. "I'm sorry about that in there. Now you know why I avoid these things."

I couldn't believe her!

"So it's my fault for making you come here?" I demanded, probably unjustly blowing it out of proportion.

She shook her head quickly. "No!" she assured me. "Because of tonight. It's a constant reminder of what happened. I was finally able to forget for a few blissful moments." Part of me genuinely felt bad for her, but a major part of me was still angry and confused.

"So what exactly are you?" She flinched at my harsh tone. "I mean last year you were with Aiden and pregnant with his child, and now this year...Madison constantly makes remarks about you, so what, gay, straight, all of the above?"

She shrugged and stared through the windshield. "I'm not into labels."

"Well everyone else on our planet is. God Ash, just tell me."

"Does it really matter?" she asked quietly.

"I just want to know."

She sighed softly, and I anxiously leaned forward. "I'm- Fucking shit!" she said loudly as a bloody Aiden banged on the car window, effectively scaring us both.

"God just leave us alone," I shouted angrily, a hand still over my rapidly beating heart.

Honestly, hadn't he done enough?

He kept giving worried glances toward the building entrance. "Please can I get in?"

"Ugh, fine," Ashley sighed and unlocked the doors. "Get in, but don't you dare get blood on the leather." I choked back a laugh at her serious command but quickly sobered as I glanced in the rear view mirror at the dark haired boy.

We all sat in silence as Ashley drove. She pulled off by an overhang and we stepped out and walked over to the guard rail, looking over the city.

Ashley and Aiden kept exchanging glances, both quickly looking away when they caught the other's eye. It was beyond annoying.

"Hey, uh, I'm really sorry," Aiden finally spoke up.

Ashley gave him a small, quick smile. "Don't worry about it," she assured him quietly, and was rewarded with a smile from him.

"Do you two want to be alone?" I interrupted a little snappishly.

They exchanged surprised looks.

"No," Aiden shook his head.

Ashley scrunched her face up. "Ew, no." I felt relieved. I really didn't want to leave but I'd rather not be subjected to their awkward sexual tension either.

"…Do _you_ two want to be alone?" Aiden asked after a moment, giving Ashley and me a significant look.

I looked at Ashley and saw the same look. "No," we both breathed out with a laugh.

"So are you gay, Spencer?" Aiden asked next. What was with all the questions? It was like being around my five year old cousin.

I saw Ashley slightly turn towards me and give me questioning look. "I'm not into labels," I said with a shrug. I caught her smile from the corner of my eye and smiled back.

"Wow," Aiden said quietly after another moment of silence, "what a night." Both Ashley and I laughed and nodded our agreement, though all three of us had many different things running through our mind about the same night as we stared off into starry LA.

We arrived back at my place after dropping Aiden off, and no, he was lucky enough not to get blood on the seat. Ashley was fiddling with the steering wheel, drawing random patterns on it. "Thanks for what you said to Madison," she told me shyly.

I loved these little moments when I got a deeper look into who Ashley really was. The Ashley on the other side of the walls.

"It's nice having a friend to care about me." She gave me an unsure smile.

I smiled back at her warmly and pulled her into a hug, knowing that even though she didn't say it, she was also thanking me for accepting her. As if I had a choice. Ashley Davies was in my life, and I never wanted to change that.

My eyes closed as her arms encircled my waist and her comforting weight leaned into mine. It probably was really only about thirty seconds, but I felt like we held each other for a long time before we finally let go, and that was only because my phone's alarm was going off to remind me about curfew.

I paused at the door and turned and gave her one last smile before finally going inside. I did my nightly ritual and grabbed my phone as I got underneath my sheets. I opened it and sent Ashley a message.

**-Thanks for going to the dance with me :)**

**-I was just about to text you. You're def. welcome Spence**

I smiled, glad that she was thinking of me too.

**-Great minds think alike**

**-And then there is your mind :-P anyway going to bed**

**-K, night Ash**

**-Night Spence **

came her simple reply, but that simple text warmed me up and put me to sleep with a smile. Again.


	5. I Could Get Used to This

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So on a sad, but also good note, this story is complete. But don't worry, you have a good amount of chapters till then._

_As always- Thanks to my lovely reviews! :) Reviews are always appreciated.  
_

Chapter 5: I Could Get Used to This

"_Because I know you're too good to be true._

_I must have done something good to meet you_"

The Veronicas

-

Somehow Aiden became our friend after that. It was a little strange, but hey, he was hot, so I didn't really mind. Although it did get annoying at times.

Every single day he came over to Ashley's house with us. I felt like my time with her was limited, and I was starting to get irritated. He would ride with us to drop me off, ask to hang out with us on the weekends. I couldn't catch a break.

That wasn't including the days I would arrive at school and he would get out of Ashley's car with her. I trusted that nothing was going on, but my conversations with her on the phone were always short because he would talk over me. I wasn't very happy. Nor was I jealous, I repeatedly told myself.

But I was, and I knew it. Every smile she gave him made me clench my first- probably to prevent myself from punching the basketball star. It's not like he was unbearable. I honestly didn't mind hanging out with him, I just didn't like how little "us" time Ashley and I seemed to have. Yeah, I knew it sounded pathetic, but when you spend so much time with some one, you definitely notice when they aren't there as much.

So when Aiden asked us to go to Ego, this "hot dance club," I wasn't very excited. Ashley was excited enough for the both of us though, and I really couldn't say no after she pulled my arm to her and begged me. And the tight hug I got in thanks made me feel pretty good too.

"You are so getting ready at my place," Ashley ordered me as if I hadn't already planned on going there. "We'll meet you there at 11," she told Aiden.

Finally! Tagalong boy wouldn't be breathing down our necks.

It was enough to keep me smiling the rest of the day.

---

That Friday I got home from school and walked into the kitchen, hearing my mom and Glen talking to each other.

"I'm telling you Mom, she's gorgeous. There is no way she's gay." I stopped in my tracks and listened intently.

"Well I think that this Ashley girl is in need of some serious prayer." I rolled my eyes at my mom's answer.

Nothing wrong with praying, mind you, but that seemed to be my mom's answer for everything, even global warming.

"Spencer, you're her friend. Is she gay?"

I gave him a disgusted look and pushed him. "You're such a pig, Glen."

God, why did he care?

He shrugged and grabbed some bread from the pantry. "Well it would explain why she won't go out with me. So is she?" he asked again.

"Just drop it, Glen."

My mom decided it was her turn to inject her opinion. "Spencer, if this girl is gay, you don't need to be hanging around her. She sounds like a bad influence." She was in devout Catholic lecture mode.

"So because Glen heard a rumor, I can't be friends with her?" I countered, making my incredulousness obvious in my words.

"It's not right. The bible clearly says."

"It also says love they neighbor as thyself," I retorted, feeling please that I had out-bibled my mother.

She put up her hands in an attempt to placate me. "I just don't want you around that," she said firmly.

"Paula," my dad's voice floated into the room, "being gay doesn't have any impact on a person. I think it's great Spence is reaching out to Ashley."

I so love my dad!

"Arthur, this girl has tattoos, and obviously a wrecked home life." My mom sounded appalled.

Oh no, not tattoos, I sarcastically thought, mentally rolling my eyes. Of all the things in the world, my mom was counting tattoos as a mortal sin?

"Then we should open our home to her and show her our kindness and compassion," my dad insisted. "Spencer, why don't you have Ashley over for dinner?"

Seriously, I love my dad!

My mom's eyes widened. "Arthur!" she said with shock. She didn't say anything else, obviously realizing how futile it was. She left the room with a sigh and headed to the living room.

"I'll go ask!" I said excitedly, taking the stairs two at a time as I ran to my room.

Ashley happily agreed, and when she arrived we went up to my room.

We were joking about something that had happened at school when my door opened. It was Mom…again. She had popped in about five times already, only to claim she forgot why she came in. I knew she was just making sure Ashley wasn't putting the moves on me. This time she told us dinner would be ready shortly. As she left, she purposely left the door cracked open.

Ashley gave me a questioning look over my mom's strange behavior. "What's up with your mom?"

I considered lying. I was about to make up something when Ashley beat me to it.

"She knows, doesn't she?" I wasn't dumb enough to play dumb.

I nodded. "Glen told her he heard a rumor. She just has her own suspicions."

I found myself shifting closer to her, subconsciously trying to soothe her with my presence.

"And she wants to make sure I don't turn her little Spencer," she joked.

"Pretty much," I laughed. "Hey, at least you were more clothing."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "I always dress modestly." She looked at her skirt and tank top.

"Ha, compared to a nudist." My face was met with a pillow. I grabbed my body pillow and hit Ashley in retaliation.

We vigorously fought for several minutes until my mom opened the door with an unpleasant look she didn't quite manage to mask, although that's with the assumption that she was trying to hide it. How was it that she could make something as simple as a pillow fight make me feel like I was up to something scandalous?

"Dinner girls," she muttered quickly. We got up to leave, and my mom stayed in the room until Ashley had left. Ashley whispered that it was because my mom wanted to stare at her ass. I rolled my eyes with a laugh and hit her.

I went to sit next to Ashley but mom insisted on me sitting by her. No one was oblivious to the message in her action.

"So Ashley," my mom asked, drawing the brunette's attention to her, "would you like to bless the food?" I shot my mom a disapproving look.

Ashley's eyes widened. "Oh…um well-"

"Mom," I warned.

"It's ok, Spence," Ashley said placatingly. "Sure Mrs. C," Ashley nodded to my mom, not looking any less uncomfortable. She took a big breath, "oook."

My mom looked at her expectantly. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, peeking to make sure everyone else followed suit, and also to give Ashley a reassuring smile.

"Um…Dear Lord, I just want to thank you for this food and for Mr. C preparing it. Ame-" Ashley cut herself off as she saw that everyone was expecting a longer prayer. "And bless the people in Africa and all the people who help them."

I laughed silently. She was just so funny and it was so cute.

"Oh!" Ashley said suddenly as if she had just remembered something, "and thank you, God. Amen," Ashley ended with a big smile and a big sigh of relief.

I sent her a smile and a subtle thumbs up.

"Thank you, Ashley," my dad smiled fondly at her. "Now dig in! This pasta won't eat itself…well maybe it will, it's very delicious." He gave Ashley a wink, causing her to give him a smile in return.

I was so going to buy him a World's Best Dad mug.

"So tell me about yourself, Ashley," my mom spoke up.

I rolled my eyes. Was a boring dinner too much to ask for?

"Well, I'm seventeen, five foot four. I love flowers and long walks on the beach." I snorted into my milk and Ashley gave me a quick smile. "But seriously, um, well I live with my mom. My parents are divorced." My mom's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "I'm an only child. My dad's a famous singer…and uh, that's pretty much it." She brought her hands together.

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents," my mom offered, even managing to sound somewhat sincere.

Ashley shrugged. "They are happier without each other. Sometimes things just work out that way." She looked towards Clay and pointed a fork at him. "So what's your story?"

"Well, Mom and Dad adopted me when I was eight, and honestly, I don't remember anything before that. But that's ok, because the memories I have here are way better." Clay smiled at us, and my dad and mom each put an arm around him.

"We're color blind in this family," my mom proudly explained.

"I think that's really great," Ashley agreed. "It's good to know that there are people like you guys out there. You don't judge based on looks, or color, or sexual orientation. That's what I love about you guys." She smiled and took a big bite of pasta.

I could practically hear my mom's teeth grinding together to stop herself from saying something.

"People are people. Who are we to judge each other?" my dad asked wisely.

Ashley favored him with a beautiful smile. "Here, here Mr. C." She lifted her glass.

Mom insisted on grilling Ashley for the remainder of dinner. Ashley took it well enough, and Dad and I intervened when we could. After dinner we walked to her car and stood by it.

"Thanks for suffering through a Carlin family dinner. And for putting up with Mom's cross examination."

I felt slightly nervous and didn't understand why.

"No biggie, I get it, she's just concerned. I really liked your dad though," she smiled.

"Yeah, he's really great," I smiled, "most of the time."

She looked at me and gave me a smile, making my heart beat faster. "And thanks for having me over. It's nice being reminded of what a normal family acts like."

I laughed in disbelief. "We're hardly normal, Ash."

She stepped closer to me and I felt my heart speed up even more. "You're lucky Spence," she shook her head, "you're really are," she finished quietly.

My eyes met hers and I nodded. "Yeah, I am."

We stood in silence for a moment. It wasn't awkward, but I couldn't feel quite at ease either for some reason.

"Well thanks again," Ashley broke the silence. "I really appreciated it." The vulnerable look was on her face again, and I relished it.

My blue eyes locked with her brown eyes, and as if on some mutual unspoken agreement, we both stepped forward and put our arms around each other.

"Spence?" Ashley whispered after a moment.

"Hm?" I answered into her hair.

"Um, we might want to let go before Paula pepper sprays me," she said a little hesitantly, her eyes flickering to my house.

I released her and looked to the house, catching a quick movement from behind the blinds. I rolled my eyes. "Alright, night Ash."

Her eyes met mine again and she smiled sweetly, making me want to hug her again.

"Night Spence," Ashley said in a low voice as she got in her car.

"Spencer," her unsure voiced halted my walk back to my door. I gave her a questioning look prodding her on. "Thanks…really." Her hands nervously fiddle on the steering wheel.

I gave her a big smile and nodded, watching as she finally drove off. I sighed and leaned against the door, staring up at the starry sky. Knowing I couldn't stay outside all night and desperately wishing I could, I trudged back inside.

"Ashley's a nice girl," my dad commented to me as he scrubbed the dishes. "She seems like a good friend."

I wasn't even aware of the smile that appeared on my face. "Yeah, she is," I agreed wholeheartedly, and I walked over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for having her over for dinner. She really appreciated it."

He smiled at me fondly. "Anytime Spence."

"Now Arthur," my mom cut in disapprovingly.

"Paula, Spencer is allowed to have her friends over." He used his gentle scolding voice, the one he generally reserved for his advisees.

"That girl is obviously a bad influence," she hissed. "Did you not hear her story?"

He nodded. "I did. Some people are less fortunate than us," he reminded her softly, putting his arms on her shoulder in a placating gesture.

"Yes, but Arthur…she's gay!" I knew that would come out eventually, no pun intended. Mom had been practically bursting to say it all night.

"And Clay's black," I threw in. I wasn't going to just sit back and let her bash Ashley.

My mom gave me a coddling look, as if I was borderline hysterical and she was afraid to upset me. "Honey, he didn't choose it," she said as if that made all the difference in the world. To her it probably did.

I scoffed and folded my arms. "And Ashley did?"

"I'm not asking her to change. I just think that you shouldn't be around that," she explained, treating me like I was a toddler learning my alphabet.

"She's not diseased, Mom. She was perfectly polite at dinner, and all you did was interrogate and attack her. You can't get past the fact that you think she's gay!" I was on a roll now. I'd never spoken to my mom like this before, but damn did if feel pretty awesome.

I felt my dad put a hand on my shoulder. "Spence," he said gently.

"There is no discussion about this. She is not allowed over here," my mom stated firmly, figuratively putting her foot down.

"Paula, be reasonable."

"You can't stop us from being friends. Short of home schooling, I'll see her everyday." I instantly regretted my words as soon as I saw the appeal they held for her.

"We'll discuss this later," my dad promised me. "Now head on up to bed."

I nodded obediently and purposely ignored the goodnight my mom sent me.

"No phone!" she ordered.

My slammed door was my response. I went to bed extremely angry, my poor pillow suffering for it. I reasoned that was better to punch than the solid walls of my room. Plus it was easier to picture my mom's face on my pillow than my blue walls.


	6. Just So You Know

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Ok so I can't help but want to update often lol. I obviously have no self-restraint. But my 3 lovely reviews have made me very happy, so hooray for those 3._

_As always- Thanks to my lovely reviews! :) Reviews are always appreciated.  
_

Chapter 6: Just So You Know

"_Just so you know this feeling's taking control of me_

_And I can't help it_"

Jesse McCartney

-

Thankfully my mom had to work the next day and I didn't have to deal with her. It made it much easier to go to Ashley's house to get ready for Ego. I told my dad and he, of course, consented. Ashley picked me up moments later, and although I teased her about her speedy arrival, I was glad to see her.

We spent the next few hours getting ready. I say we, but Ashley was the one who wasn't ready. She didn't appreciate my "everything you try on looks great" comment for some reason. But really, it did look good. She probably could have worn a diaper and still looked hot. I laughed at the mental image.

She shook her head disapprovingly at my laughter as she misinterpreted it. "Come on Spence, I need to look hot," she said as she came out in her bra in underwear, holding a potential outfit- her sixth of the night.

My breath caught a little as I looked at her, and I quickly grabbed my phone to have something to focus my attention on.

"Ash, we're already past fashionable late," I whined, hoping to convince her that that was why I was staring intently at my phone.

"You aren't even ready," she countered. "…Are you?" She eyed my outfit with obvious disapproval as she put on her outfit. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yes I am," I said indignantly, putting a defiant hand on my hip.

She dramatically shook her head. "No, you're borrowing something of mine," she decided as she pulled me off her bed and into the closet with her.

Ashley picked out a blue spaghetti strap, saying it "brought out my eyes," and we were finally ready. She had on dark jeans and an elegant looking red fitted v-neck shirt. Her ninth outfit of the night I might add.

Her phone rang as we drove and she started at it skeptically before answering. "Hello? No way! You're lying! Yes! Yes!! Of course! Yeah, definitely. Ok, love you too." She hung up the phone and almost drove into the stop sign in her excitement.

"My dad's coming to Ego!!"

Had it not been for the seatbelt, I was sure she would have bounced up and down in her seat. And I was very thankful for my seatbelt at the moment. I wasn't too keen on flying through the windshield.

"That's really great!" I said enthusiastically.

"He wants to hear me sing!" she gushed and her free hand grabbed mine excitedly.

I couldn't even register that action, I was too surprised by that information. "You sing?" I asked surprised.

I was sure I knew everything about her. Ok, maybe I presumed too much, but still, I figured I would at least know this about her.

"A little," she shrugged.

I knew she was, surprisingly, being modest. That's what true experts say when asked.

"Well that's awesome. I can't wait to hear you!" I noticed that her hand still held mine and my eyes drifted down to our intertwined hands.

"I just can't believe he's here. He hasn't heard me perform ever."

I squeezed her hand tightly, giving her a smile. "I'm glad I am going to be here with you," I told her seriously.

"I wouldn't want anyone else there," she whispered, her voice slightly deeper.

We both exchanged smiles and held each others eyes for a moment. Her phone vibrated and we both jumped slightly as we were broken from our trance.

"Aiden," she explained, sounding almost apologetic. "He was wondering where we are. I told him you took forever getting ready."

I gave a disbelieving snort. "Yeah right," she read his response.

"See," I poked her arm, "he knows it was all you."

"Hey, looking this good is a lengthy process. I just make it look easy," she sighed dramatically.

I shrugged. "Well for some of us it comes natural."

She gasped in fake shock. "Spencer Carlin, did you just act cocky?" she demanded jokingly. I had to admit I felt proud of my comment.

"That's what happens from over exposure to Ashley Davies. Warning, confidence may exponentially increase."

She hit my arm lightly. "What do you mean 'over exposure'?" She gave me a sad look and put her bottom lip out.

I went to push her face away and as I did, my hand brushed her lips. My breath caught for the second time that night, and my finger tips were tingling. I pulled my hand back as normally as I could and stared out at the window, trying to will away the sensation in my fingers.

"Let's go in before Aiden wets himself," Ashley interrupted my daze, her voice sounding far off. Even though I had been staring gout that window, I didn't know that we were there. I nodded and followed her inside.

"Wow Spencer, you look hot," Aiden told me. I blushed and thanked him. "It was totally worth you taking so long." He gave me a wink. He was definitely a smooth talker.

"Not as good as you look," I flirted back. That's right, Spencer Carlin had some game. He gave me an impressed and went to get us drinks.

"Well look at the virgin Mary work it," Ashley teased.

"He's hot and fair game. How are you feeling?" I changed subjects.

"A little nervous, honestly. He isn't here yet and I go on in twenty." I looked and saw her foot tapping.

"Hey, he'll be here," I reassured her, praying I was right.

I put a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before quickly returning my hand back to my side. For some reason that action made me feel weird.

"I hope so," she said distractedly as Aiden came back carrying drinks.

He handed me my drink and said, "Sorry, yours is a virgin."

I shrugged. "It's ok," I assured him with a smile.

"I am such the better friend," Ashley said as she reached into her purse and pulled out a small bottle of vodka. No wonder she could make it through six hours of school.

"To friends." Aiden raised his glad with a smile.

"Mmm," I mumbled halfway through my sip. Wooh was it good! I had to remember to thank Ashley, that is if I was able to remember this night.

Ten minutes later, I was definitely feeling tipsy, courtesy of Mr. V. It sure as hell explained my boosted confidence. I somehow ended on the dance floor with Aiden, leaning into him to steady myself- not that I minded, he smelled great. I don't remember who initiated it, but we were suddenly kissing. He was a pretty good kisser, and I absently wondered if Ashley thought so too.

Oh shit, Ashley! I leaned back from the kiss as I remembered the brunette. I stumbled backwards, thankfully to be caught by Aiden's strong arms.

"Ashhhley," I slurred out drunkenly, but he understood my meaning. We turned to find Ashley wearing an unpleased look on her face.

"Hey," I said happily, giving her a huge grin and tripping into her.

"Hey," came her curt reply. It didn't register in my clouded mind.

I stared at her through barely opened eyes. She looked really nice in her outfit. "You look really pretty," I found myself saying. Thank you word vomit.

"I don't have time for this," Ashe sighed exasperatedly.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the back. I gave Aiden a sloppy wave and drunkenly followed her, my coordination lacking.

"Whatsa matter?" I asked seriously, or tried to, but the seriousness was ruined by me tripping and falling on her.

"My dad was supposed to be here ten minutes ago and I'm supposed to go on in five minutes. I doubt he'll even show," she answered bitterly as she tried to stand me up.

"Hey," I said quietly as I put my arms around her neck to comfort her and to steady myself. "You'll do great, I know it." I smiled into her shoulder and breathed in her scent.

She smelled like vanilla and I found myself wanting to get closer to her. "You smell good," I breathed out, courtesy of the vodka.

"Spencer," she said softly, pushing me up. I stumbled again but managed to steady myself.

My hand reached its way to her face and lightly stroked the smooth skin of her cheek, fascinated with its warmth. I was suddenly learning towards her, but a quick glance down to my feet told me it wasn't because I was falling. The alcohol was definitely in control and all I could do was watch things happen.

Ashley's eyes widened slightly and she put her hands on my shoulder to halt me. "Spence," she breathed again, her voice taking on a pleading tone.

"You're going to be great." I smiled and surprised both of us by kissing her cheek.

"Spence…stop," she said quietly. I didn't recognize her tone this time, and I don't think I would have even had I been sober.

I stumbled back out to Aiden and smiled widely when I found him. I never realized how ADD I got when I was drunk.

"Hey you," he smiled. I put my lips to his in response. Hey, I'm an affectionate drunk, what can I say?

"Let's go to your car." I didn't even give him a chance to reply- though I highly doubted he would have protested- and I pulled him outside.

We passed Ashley on our way out and her incredulous expression didn't even register with me. Hey, I did give her a wave, that justified it, right?

Aiden and I were immersed in a heavy make out session. He pulled away and asked if I was sure.

"Mm, stop thinking so much." I pulled his mouth back to mine.

"Come on, Spencer, not like this. Let me get you home," he said gently.

"K," I murmured sleepily. I always wondered how I could be so energized one moment and then dead tired the next. That's alcohol for you, I supposed.

"Hey, this is my house!" I exclaimed excitedly as he carried me to the door.

Aiden quietly laughed at my drunkenness. "Shh," he cautioned.

"SHHH, Aiden, my parents are sleeping," I shushed him loudly. Oh drunk Spencer was a blast.

"Ok, Spencer," he laughed again.

"Spencer is that you?" my mom asked as she and my dad came through the door.

"Yesh," I gave them a big smile. "You're up late."

"We heard you yelling," my dad explained.

I shook my head. "Oh no, that was Aiden. I told him to be quiet." I attempted to put my finger over my mouth.

My mom gave me a shocked look. "Spencer, are you drunk!?" she demanded, giving an accusing look to Aiden.

"Uh, nooo," I lied unconvincingly, shaking my head for extra emphasis.

Bad idea; I immediately felt queasy. God I just wanted Aiden to put me down, but it was too late.

Yep, I attractively threw up right over Aiden's shoulder. If that didn't win him over, I don't know what would.

"Ug," I moaned pathetically.

"We'll take her," my dad assured Aiden. I felt myself being transferred to some one else, presumably my dad- I somehow didn't picture my mom being able to carry me.

"Night Spencer, feel better. Night Mr. Carlin, Mrs. Carlin. Sorry about this."

"Night Aiden!" I blurted out, feeling much better now that the vomit- and my dinner- were out of my system.

I don't remember changing into my pajamas, and I prayed that I- or some one- had at least thought to brush my teeth. I just remember waking up with a bitch of a hangover and finding water and Tylenol on my nightstand.

My parents were nice enough to not make me go to church with them this morning, but I knew that would be where the niceness ended. To phrase it bluntly, I was in deep shit. Not only was I drunk, I was also way past curfew and came home with a random guy. I supposed it was better than me coming home like that with Ashley.

Oh God, Ashley. She was going to be so pissed. Correction, I bet she was already pissed. I didn't know how I was going to fix this. Obviously apologize, but that hardly seemed adequate. I decided I'd give her a day to cool down, then talk to her at school. Yeah, that was a good plan, but it did nothing to lessen my guilt- not that I felt like I deserved to feel less guilty. I was a horrible friend. I totally left her, and for Aiden. God, I royally sucked.

I racked my brain to try to remember everything. It was mostly bits and pieces, but the memory of me throwing up was pretty prominent. I was talking to Ashley, and stumbling on her. And practically nuzzling her neck, damn! No wonder she pushed me away.

Affectionate or not, I couldn't believe I had done that. Being drunk never made me do things I didn't want to, it just gave me more courage. Which then led to me wondering why I did it. My mouth was nice enough to tell Ashley that she smelled good, which wasn't too bad.

And the kiss on her cheek was ok. And stroking her face was…way past the line. I mean what the hell was that? I demanded of myself. I enjoyed kissing Aiden! I did! So what if I thought of her. There was totally a logical thought process, I just couldn't explain it at the moment. Once I cleared my mind you'd have your answer.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. Oh good, God did still love me.

"Yeah," I gave them permission to enter.

The door opened revealing my mom. Or maybe God didn't. "Feeling better?" my mom asked.

"Not really," I answered truthfully.

"Good." Wow, thanks for the sympathy, mom. Aren't you a regular Hallmark card?

"I was just stupid Mom." I really didn't feel like talking, I just wanted to go to bed.

"When your dad told me you were with Ashley, I knew something would happen." Seriously Mom? What the hell?

"What?" I scoffed incredulously. "This has nothing to do with Ashley. She was there, but she by no means opened my mouth and forced drinks down my throat. Although, she might have convinced her lesbian mafia to spike my lemonade," I considered thoughtfully as I rolled my eyes.

I was surprised when my mom blatantly ignored my smart comment. "You are grounded for two weeks. You will come home straight after school. No going anywhere, especially with Ashley. Your curfew, if you are allowed to go out, is ten." She gave me this look as though it pained her to punish me.

"Mom! You can't be serious. That's a little harsh!" How old was I, twelve?

"And you are on a cool down from Ashley until the end of the month. No texting or calling," she finished with an air of finality.

"That's ridiculous!" I shouted. "You can't tell me to take a break from her."

This was stupid. How dare she treat me like this, all because I came back drunk? We're Catholic, it wasn't like drinking was frowned upon. But I knew what this was really about; or better yet, _who_ it was about.

"Those are the rules."

She wasn't backing down, and I knew it. She left me to complain about her to my stuffed animals.

Don't judge, they were great listeners.

"Ground me will she? Ha, she can't control who I talk to." I was a lot braver without my mom there. "Good thing I already decided not to talk to Ashley today, otherwise I'd call her now!" I rebelliously threatened my mom.

The thing that sucked about my plan was that I really wanted to rent to Ashley about this but I couldn't. Damn my stubbornness. But surely I could make it the rest of the day without talking to the brunette.

I made it. Barely. I had to leave my phone in my room, not that I expected her to call, but it was the only way I would stop checking it every five seconds for a text, or picking it up to call Ashley, only to put it right back down.

To make matters worse, Mom _insisted_ on mother-daughter bonding time, which meant I was pretty much under her surveillance. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without hearing, "Where'd you go Spence?" It was miserable. Who knew Monday could look so appealing yet seem so far away at the same time. Mom had practically shoved Dad, Glen, and Clay out the door.

"So that boy you were with was cute," my mom broke the silence I was stubbornly set on maintaining.

"Yeah, he is," I offered noncommittally. I wasn't completely able to blow her off.

"Any potential there?" she pressed.

I sighed. "I don't know, Mom, I threw up on the guy. While that was a deal breaker in Ohio, I don't know how well it works in LA," I answered sarcastically.

She put a hand on my shoulder and said cheerfully, "Well you never know." It was no fun being sarcastic if it didn't have the desired affect. "You should invite him over."

"Mom," I said with barely concealed exasperation.

"I'm just saying," she said defensively. I wasn't stupid. I knew what she was doing, and I wasn't going to feel guilty.

"Yeah, maybe," I shrugged disinterestedly, and I got up and went to my room, ignoring her calling my name.

I stayed in my room until my dad and brothers came home at eight- not that Mom didn't try to get me out. I told her I was still hung over and wanted to rest. I had hoped it would make her leave, but all it did was spur on a discussion of what the Bible says about drinking in moderation. The Bible also said honor thy mother and father, and I really wasn't too keen on that at the moment, so I really didn't want to hear her sermon.

"Feeling any better?" my dad asked gently as he sat on my bed.

I shrugged. "I guess."

He kissed my forehead. "We were just worried Spencer, that's all. And you showing up drunk certainly didn't ease our fears." My dad's scoldings were much more pleasant than my mom's.

"Yeah I know," I sighed in defeat. "I just got carried away. I was stupid. I wanted to loosen up and lost control." I felt guilty for being vague with him, but not enough to tell him everything.

"Oh, you definitely lost control," he said seriously, nodding his head. "…of your food," he smiled, and despite myself, I smiled too at his goofiness.

"Thanks, Dad." I hugged him and followed him down to dinner.

"And Spence?" he said abruptly, causing me to run into him as he suddenly stopped. "Give your mom time." I nodded and walked to the table. I knew he was talking about Ashley.

Dinner was boring, at least from my view. I spent most of it rearranging the food on my plate with my fork. My mom told them about our exciting mother-daughter day. Totally her words. I stared at my meat loaf in hopes that they wouldn't see my eye roll.

As soon as Clay finished, I excused myself and went to bed. My mom couldn't say anything to me since I wasn't the first one done. Glen was done way before that, but being the ass he was and knowing I wanted to leave, he sat at the table with his empty plate, simply giving me a cocky smile.

Knowing it was pointless, I checked my phone anyway. I had a text from Aiden asking how I was feeling. I definitely didn't remember exchanging numbers last night. I just was glad that was the only exchanging that went on. Responding to his text was the last on my priority list, so I closed my phone and went to sleep, readying myself for another night of restless sleeping.


	7. Next to You

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So I am totally lame and got crazily excited too see I know have 7 reviews! I wore a giddy smile every time I refreshed the page and saw my story. Hence the lameness. Anyway, I'm actually going to Panama City for about a week so it will be a bit till my next update but I might fit one more in tomorrow. Just know that soon the SON storyline goes out the window and it's completely mine. Stay tuned please :)  
_

_As always- I love reviews. You (reviewers) seriously keep me smiling. Thanks so much!!! Se amo :D  
_

Chapter 7: Next To You

"_Maybe we're friends, and maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination_

_But I see you stare just a little too long and it makes me start to wonder_

_So baby call me crazy but I think you feel it too_

_Mabye I just gotta be next to you_"

Jordin Sparks

-

Monday morning started out much better than yesterday's; not that it was hard to compete with Sunday's start- hangovers tend to put a damper on your day. I walked to my locker, hoping I'd see Ashley. I didn't, and my heart sank.

Was she even here today? I could hardly blame her for not wanting to be here.

Finally realizing that she obviously wasn't coming to her locker, I dejectedly walked to class. I was happily surprised to see her in her usual seat.

As I walked to sit by her, I became extremely nervous. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to initiate conversation and act like I hadn't bailed on her? Her brown eyes regarded me sharply, and my insides squirmed even more.

Ok, so that plan was obviously out.

I felt horrible. I couldn't even pretend to concentrate. As if I could when I could practically feel the daggers Ashley's eyes were shooting at me. I constantly grabbed my phone to send her a text, only to chicken out and close it right back up.

"Aw, did you two break up?" Madison asked in a baby voice.

"Shut up, Madison," came Ashley's quick reply.

At least I got to hear her voice. God, how pathetic was I?

Madison leaned towards me with a triumphant smile. "I told you she'd burn you."

"Shut up," I hissed.

She gave us a sweet smile and turned back to her notes.

"God I hate her," Ashley and I whispered at the same time, causing our eyes to lock briefly. It was long enough for me to see that her walls were back up, you know, the one where nothing could bother her.

Way to go ass, I congratulated myself.

Class ended and Ashley practically sprinted out the door. I sighed and gathered my books, trudging to math class.

I couldn't tell you what my teacher talked about. Something about limits or something like that, but it didn't matter. The president could have been in there and I wouldn't have noticed.

Ok, so I probably would have noticed that, but I digress.

I quickly headed to lunch and went through the line. Much to my relief, I saw Ashley at our usual table. She was lying on top of it, still with the same uncaring look on her face she wore when we first met. That brought back pleasant memories of her bitchiness. I just hoped it wasn't a repeat performance today.

"Have fun Saturday night?"

Oh, so she was going to speak.

"Oh yeah," I answered. "Throwing up on Aiden was definitely a highlight." I saw her lips quirk into a small smile and felt proud that I was making progress, as small as it was. "And getting grounded for a month ranked pretty high too." I finally convinced myself to sit by her, making her eyes meet mine.

"I'm really sorry about Saturday. I completely bailed on you when you needed most." I hung my head in shame, not able to meet her eyes anymore.

"You did," she agreed.

I put my hands on my knees. "And I was the worst friend and you totally should be pissed at me," I added.

She nodded. "I should," she agreed again, but her tone was lighter, and I smiled as she bumped her shoulder into mine playfully, letting me know things were ok.

"I'll be better, I promise." I put my pinky out and laughed as she linked hers with it.

"Forgiven, but you are on probation," she warned me with a finger.

"Of course," I nodded in understanding.

I couldn't help the giddiness I felt burst within me. It was so great being on speaking terms with her.

I desperately wanted to give her a hug, but felt a little embarrassed about initiating it. What if she didn't want to? It would probably be a little weird anyway, considering I had practically thrown myself on her that night.

My thoughts from Saturday came crashing back, and I suddenly became hyper aware of Ashley's presence next to me; the heat coming off of her, her smell. We weren't touching, but there was very little space between us, and I knew if I so much as shrugged my shoulder, we'd be touching. I intently focuses on being perfectly still, pushing back questions of why I even cared about our distance.

"Listen to this." Ashley closed the remaining distance between us and handed me part of her ear phone.

And just like that my plan flew out the window- ok smart ass, the metaphoric window.

My shoulder felt fuzzy from where hers was resting against it, and I tried my best to calm down. It's not like we hadn't touched before. We had, plenty of times.

Plus it's not like I could have exactly pulled away without making it obvious and awkward. I surrendered to my fate; sitting with her on the table, simply listening to her dad's songs, deep down enjoying the contact and keeping the questions far from my mind for now, and hopefully, forever.

Ashley sympathized with me about my crazy mom and my unjust punishment.

"I must be pretty dangerous if you aren't allowed to hang out with me," she considered.

"For two weeks," I reminded her, even though my mom had clearly said a month break from Ashley.

"No looking at me Spence. Oooh, can't touch me Spence," she teased as she put a finger up to me as close as she could without touching me. She waved it around my body, laughing evilly.

I grabbed her finger. "I just did," I challenged, hating that I had to remind myself to release her finger.

"Spencer Carlin you little rebel." She covered her mouth in mock shock. "No wonder Paula doesn't want you around me."

"You're such a bad influence," I nodded. "Guess we can't be friends," I decided with a shrug. "See you later." I got up and started to walk away.

"Oh stop," Ashley laughed and grabbed my hand and pulled me back down next to her.

"Forgave her did you?"

We both turned to see Aiden walking towards us. I didn't understand the annoyed feeling that went through me.

"Of course," Ashley smiled, as if there was no other option.

"You're lucky. It normally took Ash a week to talk to me after I messed up," the dark haired boy laughed.

What was up with him calling her Ash?

"Well, Spencer is prettier," Ashley shrugged. She patted my cheek and smiled at me fondly. I maturely stuck my tongue out at Aiden, mostly so I could cover up my blush.

"So you didn't write me back," Aiden tried to casually throw out.

"Yeah sorry, my mom took my phone as part of my punishment," I partially lied, but didn't feel guilty at all. "And, uh, sorry for sharing my dinner with you," I added, feeling the embarrassment creep up again.

He waved off my words. "No need to apologize. It's all good. My night was still perfect," he assured me with a flirty look.

I felt Ashley subtly nudge me and give me a questioning look.

"Oh yeah, how was your song?" I asked suddenly, wanting to change subjects and because I genuinely wanted to know. As I asked, I felt the guilt hit me again.

"It went really good. My dad came about thirty minutes after I finished," she shrugged indifferently, leaving me to wonder if it really went well or not.

"That sucks he missed it, but at least he came, right?" I tried to cheer her up.

"Yeah, it was nice," she admitted reluctantly.

"Ash is an amazing singer," Aiden commented, causing me to jump. I had forgotten he was there.

I turned towards him surprised. "You've heard her?" I couldn't keep out the slight jealously that was infused with my words.

And seriously, what was up with the nickname?

"When?" Ashley asked sounding just as confused, which comforted me.

At least she didn't know either…although now that I thought about it, it did make him sound kind of creepy. Yeah, that was going to be a mental note.

"Whenever you were in the shower you would sing," he explained and then dropped off quickly, successfully making it awkward, at least for me. I didn't want to picture that scenario of why she would be in a shower anywhere near him, even if I did know that they dated and he obviously got her pregnant some how. "Although I doubt songs about citrus shampoo could really count as her best work," he joked, finally able to lift the tension as we all laughed.

"Well, it was the only thing in my life worth singing about," she countered.

Touché, I thought.

"And now?" I questioned with interest.

"And now…" she paused and took the brownie I was about to eat and took a bite. "This brownie," she finished with a smile full of chocolate.

"My mom made that." I was hoping to dissuade her from finishing the dessert.

She stopped chewing for a moment and regarded the possible poisoned treat. "Nah, you're mom made is specifically for you. It's safe," she decided and finished it in one bite.

"Thanks for sharing," Aiden deadpanned. Oh, so he was still here. I forgot…again.

"No problem," Ashley smiled widely.

"Well I have to go to class, then 'straight home,'" I mocked my mom.

"It'll be ok Spence," Ashley promised. "In ten years you might even be allowed to cross the street without holding your mom's hand."

I gave her a fake glare that conveyed my appreciation. She laughed it off and then headed in the opposite direction to her class.

"Wait up Spencer," Aiden called after me.

"Yeah?" I asked once he had reached me.

"So, I know you're grounded…" he began hesitantly. I knew where this was going. I'd have to be stupid not to. "-but I thought maybe we could try it again, sans puke?" he offered, giving me an uncertain laugh.

I considered my options. One, he was hot. Two, it would get Mom off my back. Three, he was hot. Four…why not?

"Yeah, I'd like that," I smiled.

"Sweet! Alright, well I'll talk to you later." He touched my shoulder briefly and then walked away.

I should have been more excited. Why wasn't I? I decided it was because I was grounded and it would be a while before I could go out with him. That must be it.

No, that was it! I told myself firmly.

---

That night I was surprised when my mom told me I was allowed to go out. It had only been like two days and she was already letting me see some sun. I was excited until I found out it was with Clay and Glen and that my curfew was still in effect. Better than nothing, I supposed.

Glen went off to "get his game on" as he said, glaring at Clay and me as we pretended to throw up. We pretty much table sat until we decided to get drinks.

Don't worry, water for me. I decided drunk Spencer needed some vacation time.

"Excuse me," I said loudly yet politely to the bartender.

I was ignored yet again.

"Hey!!" I yelled louder, even throwing in some attractive looking arm waving. "What's his deal?" I demanded rhetorically of Clay, who shrugged.

"He won't notice you unless you're naked," a pretty girl with curly brown hair explained.

"Ah, well I knew I should have stuck with my birthday suit." I snapped my fingers in disappointment.

She gave a throaty laugh and stuck her hand out. "I'm Kelly."

"Spencer," I returned, shaking her hand.

"You from around here?"

I nodded and said, "I go to King High. Do you go there? I've never seen you."

"Nope, I go to Benton Academy."

"My parents looked into that but decided instead on wonderful King High," I said with an overdramatic voice inflection, which Kelly laughed at.

"I'm Clay," Clay interjected, making me feel sorry about forgetting him. "Spencer's brother."

"Adopted," I explained at her questioning look.

"Ah," she said in understanding. "Well it's nice to meet you, I'm Kelly." I noticed she didn't offer him her hand.

"So, Benton Academy? That's a great school. They have a great science program," Clay said excitedly. I could see the obvious disinterest in Kelly's eyes.

"Let's dance," she said suddenly, and pulled me out to the dance floor with her. "Sorry, I just didn't want to talk about school. Six hours a day is bad enough." I laughed my agreement and tried my best to follow the beat. I wasn't a bad dancer, but neither was I like Ashley.

"So, you have a boyfriend?" she asked, randomly in my opinion.

A laugh escaped my mouth for a strange reason. "Nope. You?"

"Sure don't," she said shortly, and I couldn't help but notice that she seemed closer. I let it pass, attributing it to the number of people dancing.

My phone vibrated and I looked down to see the alarm going off.

"Curfew," I sighed. "I have to go."

"Well can I get your number? We should hang out soon," she suggested with a smile.

I nodded and handed her my phone. "Yeah, this was fun," I agreed with a smile as I punched in my number.

Go Spencer! That's two friends! I paused for a moment. Maybe that wasn't something to brag about after all.

"How is it that you manage to get all the hot girls Spence?" Glen asked with annoyance as we arrived home.

I pretended to give it serious thought. "It could be because I'm not an asshole who is just trying to get into their pants." I finished with a shrug.

"Just Ashley's," he mumbled as we walked inside.

"Shut up, Glen! God you're an ass," I said angrily as I hit his shoulder hard. Sometimes he was just…Ugh!

I stomped up to my room and shut my door. My poor teeth got assaulted with my tooth brush, and I wasn't even going to attempt to brush my hair- I'd make myself bald. My phone vibrated, and I instantly calmed down when I saw it was Ashley calling.

"Hey," I whispered as I walked over to my door and shut it. "I'm totally not supposed to be talking to you, but I'm glad you called."

"Well I figured if I was going to hell, you could join me and make it a fun trip," she reasoned.

"Aw, I'm glad my soul's destination concerns you." I touched my heart even though she couldn't see it.

"Hey, I'll need some company down there. You wouldn't believe how lonely it gets."

"Madison isn't good enough?" I acted shocked.

"No, hell's too good for her."

I laughed and changed subjects. "So I got to go out tonight." I sat on my bed.

She gasped. "Jailor Carlin let you out?"

"Yeah, til ten. I went with Clay and Glen."

"Wow, Spence," she mocked, "you party animal."

"Well I know it doesn't compare to a night in the life of Ashley Davies, but it wasn't bad. I met a girl named Kelly. She goes to Benton Academy."

Silence.

"Ash, are you there?" I whispered uncertainly.

"Yeah," she answered after a moment. "That's good you had fun," she commented, sounding distracted.

Obviously that subject was a dud. "Well how did your day go?" I felt like we were an old married couple.

"Eh." I could picture her shrug. "Mom decided to play mom to impress seven, so she forced me to eat with them and bond."

I went to respond but was stopped by footsteps coming from the stairs. "Ah, I hear my mom coming," I sighed regretfully.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ashley said.

"Alright, night." I started to close my phone but heard her call my name. "Yeah, Ash?"

She was silent for a few seconds. "It was good talking to you again. It really sucked not talking to you last night." Her voice sounded low, and I couldn't figure out the tone.

I smiled. "Yeah, I know. I felt the same way," I admitted shyly.

We shared a comfortable moment of silence, neither of us wanting to get off, but I knew I had to go. "Well my mom should be here in a moment."

"K, night Spence.

"Night Ash." I shut my phone and quickly deleted my call list and turned my back towards my door.

"Spencer?" my mom said quietly as she opened my door.

"mm?" I tried to sound sleepy.

She came over and kissed my forehead. "Night sweetie," she said quietly, walking to the door, only to stop as my phone vibrated.

Oh shit.

"Who is Kelly?" my mom asked as she checked my phone.

I sighed with relief. I was sure it was from Ashley.

"She's this friend I met tonight. She goes to Benton Academy," I threw in, hoping the prestigious school would hold some credibility.

"Well that's nice you made a friend." Who isn't Ashley, I finished for her. "Alright, get some sleep. Night Spencer, I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." I grabbed my phone and read the text once she left.

**-I had a great time tonight. Hope to see you soon :)-**

**-Same here-**

I sent back and then rolled over and went to sleep.


	8. You Found Me

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Ok well finally back from PCB. It was awesome. Anyway this is a short chapter so double update. As promised, the storyline breaks away from the show. I just like using the show's storyline as a background for character development._

_Please continue to Read and Review. I love reviews very much :D  
_

Chapter 8: You Found Me

"_You found me when no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be_

_You broke the all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_You found me_"

Kelly Clarkson

-

The next day I was talking to Ashley in English. I remembered her silence when I mentioned Kelly so I asked her about it.

"What do you mean?" she gave me a questioning look.

"Come on, Ash, don't play dumb."

"Look, I don't think you should hang out with her," she said and then sighed as she realized how it sounded.

"And why is that," I asked with a little irritation.

Was she my mom, dictating who I could be friends with?

"Because she wants to be more than friends," Ashley said as if it were obvious.

"She wants to be more than friends?" I questioned with some condescension. "And you know this for a fact?" I crossed my arms and stared at her challengingly.

"Stop it. She has a crush on you," Ashley said firmly.

"Because she asked to hang out," I said slowly, laughing my disbelief. "Not because she wants to be friends?"

Ashley gave me an irritated look. "I'm not crazy."

"No, just jealous." I gave her a pointed look.

"Dammit Spencer, I am not jealous," she said furiously, which only reaffirmed my thoughts.

"Just because you're gay, you think that every one else is."

"No," Ashley said, "only the gay ones." She crossed her arms. "Like Kelly," she finished.

I laughed. We were obviously not getting anywhere. "Let's just drop it, ok? She's not going to replace you," I promised, thinking that that was what she was worried about.

"Whatever," she mumbled noncommittally.

"Ok," I said in an annoyed tone. I shook my head at her and then got my stuff out as the bell rang.

**-I'm not jealous-**

-**K Ash your not-**

We both knew I obviously didn't believe her.

She didn't reply back, and I knew she wanted the subject dropped. Neither of us really wanted to go in circles.

---

"Hey sexy!" I turned to see Kelly sitting in her car.

"Hey," I smiled as I walked over to her.

"Feeling hungry?" she asked. "And rebellious?"

"Hell yeah, always!" I said back. "Let me get my stuff." I walked over to the table where my book bag was.

"Where are you off to?" Ashley asked when she saw me picking up my book bag and purse.

I hesitated. Kelly was a sore point between us and I really didn't feel like arguing about her again.

"Going to lunch with Kelly," I finally answered somewhat reluctantly.

She gave me a frown. "Spence," she whined, "I hardly get to see you."

"Ash, you see me everyday," I laughed.

"Not like I normally do," she shook her head. "I'm afraid to call or stop by since you are grounded. I'm sure Paula has me bugged or something."

Part of me liked her jealous; the other part not so much.

"You'll be fine," I assured her. "Now you can leave too and go home."

"Oh boy." I didn't miss her sarcasm, neither did I appreciate it.

I sighed in annoyance. "Whatever, I'll talk to you later."

I didn't wait for her response- not that I expected her to give one- and I walked over back towards Kelly.

"Don't let her pay!" she called out after me. I didn't know if she was joking or not.

"Sorry about that," I apologized to Kelly as I got in the passenger door.

"Not a problem," she smiled and flashed her white teeth.

I scanned over her car. "Sweet ride," I complimented.

"Eh, it gets around," she shrugged.

"In zero to sixty in three?" I joked.

"Haha, yeah, pretty much. So where to?"

I shrugged. "You pick. I'm still not familiar with LA geography."

"Oh, I know just the place!" she said excitedly, turning down random streets, or at least random to me.

We arrived at Beebo's, and I immediately thought of the time Ashley and I had come here. I felt a little guilty about my earlier attitude with her. My phone was opened and I was about to text her when a message vibrated through from the girl in question.

**-Hows your date?-**

I instantly changed my mind about apologizing.

**-Good. And it's not a date-**

-**Whatever you say. Don't let her pay-**

I didn't even grace that text with a response. I shut my phone off and turned back to Kelly. "I'll have a ceasar wrap," I ordered.

"Make it two," Kelly added, giving me a smile. She dug into her purse for money as the cashier said the total.

"Oh, separate please." I thought about what Ashley had said. I'd never hear the end of it if I let Kelly pay.

"I would have gotten it." Kelly sounded a little put out.

"It's not a problem," I assured her. "It just means my parents will have to get me more money."

Kelly told me about a local band that was playing on Wednesday and she invited me to go.

"I'd love to, but I'm pretty much on house arrest," I explained as we drove back to my house. I didn't expect to have missed my other classes, but I wasn't complaining.

"Well we'll see. I'm pretty good at persuading parents."

"Well thanks for lunch," I thanked her, shutting her door and heading inside.

She flashed me a smile. "Anytime, Spencer."

My mom suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Who was that?" she demanded.

Oh, some random stranger I let pick me up.

"Kelly. She gave me a ride home," I explained.

I really hated when she got off early.

"Well why didn't you invite her in?"

I looked at her strangely. Was she serious? "Because I'm on probation." I gave her a "duh" look.

"She could have come in for a little bit," my mom explained.

"Well she did invite me to a concert on Wednesday." I gave her an expectant look.

"Ok," she smiled, "you can go." I quickly hugged her and thanked her.

My mom did have her moments; they were just few and far in between


	9. Told You So

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Read and Review Please!_

_All reviews are loved and appreciated :)  
_

Chapter 9: Told You So

"_So, can't you see_

_that for worse or for better_

_we're better together_"

Keith Urban

-

Wednesday came and I was beyond eager for the concert. My first and only concert was 98° concert, so needless to say this was going to be a little different-cue in the eagerness and anxiousness.

"What's up with you?" I asked Ashley as she sat next to me at lunch looking pissed.

"Mom kicked me out," she sighed, throwing down her tray for extra effect.

What? No! No way, she couldn't legally do that...could she?

I put my hand on her leg. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

She laughed and gave me a small smile. "Not like that Spence, just for the night. She and eight have a dinner date. She didn't tell him about me so she pretty much told me to leave." I listened intently but couldn't help but grin at the rhymes she had unknowingly used.

"Well, you can stay with me," I offered giddily.

Yeah, I hadn't had a sleep over in a while. I wonder why? ....sarcasm.

She laughed. "Oh yeah, your mom would love that. It's ok. I appreciate it, but I'll just call my dad and stay with him," she assured me.

I realized my hand still rested on her thigh and I quickly removed it, unable to stop the small blush that came to my cheeks. Thankfully Ashley didn't notice since she was on the phone.

"Seriously?" Ashley sighed annoyed. "No, no, it's ok. Yeah, no worries, love you too." She hung up the phone.

"Sooo," I drawled, "sleep over at the Carlin's?" I gave her a smile.

She gave me an uncertain laugh. "Maybe you should ask."

I nodded and called my dad. I knew my mom would be a lot less charitable, which was ironic, considering she was a doctor and dealt with people who needed care all the time. Apparently it hardened her heart.

"Alright, you're in!" I said excitedly.

She'd never stayed at my house before. We always went over to her house because her mom was never there. In fact, I was pretty sure I was over at Ashley's house more often than her mom.

"Thanks," she smiled shyly, and I felt my pulse race and felt a smile form in response to hers.

"Oh dang!" I hit my forehead at my stupidity.

"What?" she asked worriedly, leaning closer to me to inspect for some unknown danger.

"I forgot I am going to a concert with Kelly." Her eyebrows shot up into her eyebrows and I saw her bite her lip, most likely to hold back a retort.

"I'll just sleep in my car," she said after decided she could speak without making a comment about Kelly.

"No, you can still stay," I assured her as I bumped my shoulder into hers, causing a small smile to form. I didn't want her to sleep in her car and I really did want her to stay over.

"I just won't be there the whole time."

"You sure?" she asked hesitantly.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah, I want you to stay over."

Her nose crinkled as she smiled. "Ok, thanks!"

I felt a smile again make its way across my face, and for the first time that week, I seriously considered canceling my plans with Kelly. It had been a while since Ashley and I had gotten to just hang out, and I did miss it, but I couldn't just bail on Kelly like that.

"Ok, well we'll meet after school at your locker."

"Ok, bye," I smiled but it quickly fell flat as I realized I had to suffer until three.

-**I need to stop by my house. That cool?-**

**-Yeah, no problem. Dad and mom are working are working so no hurry-**

**-K. Can't wait :)-**

**-Me either, I'm excited!- **

And I was. The concert shouldn't last too long, right? Or so I hoped.

---

After school we headed to Ashley's house as planned.

"Where's your mom?" I asked as I once again found myself overwhelmed by her house.

I know I had been there so many times before, but I just never really got over how rich she was, especially when she didn't act like she was loaded- or at least didn't _usually_ act that way.

"Who knows? Probably getting a make-over in preparation for eight," she said, sounding completely disinterested, which she most likely was.

"I get tired of my mom, but I couldn't imagine not having her around."

Wouldn't that be nice though? I guessed it was kind of like picturing Heaven; you're told it's perfect, and so its hard to imagine- which was the same as imagining my mom not being home all the time breathing down my neck.

She shrugged. "You get used to it I guess. Even when she is home, we never really interact. I mostly stay in my room." She grabbed my hand and pulled. "Now come on, let's go get my stuff."

Twenty minutes later, she still hadn't packed. "Ash," I complained, "just pick out an outfit. It's just for one night," I called from her bed.

"Yeah, but it's one night with Godzilla," she referred to my mom, "which means I have to dress to impress more than usual." She haphazardly flung some clothes from her closet to her floor.

"That's it, I'm picking," I decided for her. She gave me a "go ahead" look. I walked over to her and gestured towards the clothes she had on. "Ta dah!" I sang out.

"Ugh Spence, you are so not helping." She stalked back to the closet.

"You look fine Ash, really. Just grab some pajamas and something for tomorrow." My patience was surprisingly still intact even though I had been ready to leave for the past hour.

"Ok, ok," she placated, giving me a big smile. She put some clothes in a bag and walked to her bathroom to get her toiletries.

"Ready princess?" I asked cheekily.

"I guess." She gave a dramatic sigh.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. "Aw, you're going to be ok," I cooed.

She gave a couple sniffs and nodded slowly. I laughed and pushed her out the front door. "On to hell!" She thrust an arm in the air in fake excitement.

I pretended to be affronted. "How can it be hell if little angelic me is there?" I cocked my head to the side and smiled at her.

Ashley laughed and shook her head, a devilish gleam in her chocolate eyes. "You won't be there, you'll be on your date with Kelly!" She brought her hands together in mock giddiness.

"It's a good thing your driving, otherwise I'd hit you. And it's not a date," I reiterated, for the tenth- but not last- time.

"Oh yeah? Did she pay at lunch?" she challenged knowingly.

Ha! I thought triumphantly, crossing my arms. "No she didn't."

"I bet she tried," she countered.

"You paid for my meal," I reminded her.

"That's different," she explained, most likely believing in her strange mind that it was different. "I'm rich, plus I'm your best friend. And you avoided the question, which means the answer is yes," she concluded with a smile.

I wondered if it was still normal to get all happy when she referred to me as her best friend. Obviously I knew we were best friends, but still.

"The point is, I paid for my meal and will pay for stuff tonight."

"I still say it's a date," she sang.

"I still say you're jealous," I said, mimicking her tone.

She scoffed. "Of Kelly?" she asked in disbelief.

"Of her and my friendship."

"Except it's not friendship. Seriously Spence, she's hot for you," she said adamantly.

"Ash, you're just being-" I searched for the right word, "-petty. It's a concert, not a candlelit dinner and a movie."

"Whatever, I don't want to argue about this."

"Me either," I agreed.

We sat in silence, both of us stubbornly set on not speaking first. I saw her look my direction and I looked out the window to avoid her gaze. I don't know why I was being so childish. We weren't really mad at each other, Kelly was just a sore subject.

Ashley finally broke the silence when she dug in the console for a CD. I was curious to know what it was but didn't want to give her the satisfaction of me asking.

_"Here I am once again, I'm torn into pieces"_ filtered through the speakers.

"Aw, Ash," I said sweetly, once I recognized Kelly Clarkson's voice.

Ashley wasn't a big fan of Kelly and only had the CD because her mom had forced her to go to the concert and bought Ashley one to get signed- apparently her mom had pulled the "my husband is Raife Davies" card. That being said, Ashley knew I was obsessed with Kelly Clarkson, and on rare occasions, like now, she'd cater to my whim and play some songs, sometimes even the full length of them.

"This is the only Kelly I'll put up with," she said firmly, belaying her tough words with a smile.

"Fine, fine" I conceded with a smile. Ashley acted like a hard ass, but I knew she had a softer side.

It made me feel special that I was the only one who got to see it. It also made me feel stupid for using the word special that way. I was special alright, special ed.

We brushed by my dad on our way to my room, giving him a quick hello. Kelly was picking me up at seven, so I had a few hours till I had to be ready.

Ashley was pretty good about keeping her date comments to herself. That didn't mean that she didn't let some "slip" on occasion though. I took it good naturedly, usually ignoring it or giving her a nice eye roll.

It was six and I was frantically trying to find something to wear. I had worn a Nick Lachey t-shirt to my last concert. I doubted that would cut it for tonight. Not that I still had the shirt in my closet or anything.

"You look fine Spence," Ashley mockingly repeated my words from earlier.

I sent her a glare at her purposeful unhelpfulness. "I have to look nice."

"You do. What? You do!" she emphasized when I gave her a "you're not helping" look.

"Why are you stressing about it if it's not a date?" she asked with a little accusation in her voice.

"Because I want to look nice. I'm sure some hot guys will be there." I huffed and threw down the shirt I had just picked out.

"You could have borrowed something of mine," she suggested from behind the magazine she was reading. I decided this one wasn't trying to drive me insane.

"It's just a bit too late," I said with a little irritation. "Plus I can't make your clothes work like you do. I can't pull off the Ashley Davies confidence." I added a pair of light jeans to my discard pile.

"Few can," she shrugged. "It's all about how you want people to-" I finished pulling my shirt off and gave her a questioning look as she suddenly dropped off her sentence, only to find her staring at me with a strange look. "-to perceive you," she finished quickly, now refusing to meet my eyes.

I mentally shrugged. Everyone has their strange moments.

"Almost ready?" my mom's voice suddenly cut into my room.

"God Mom!" I exhaled sharply as I put a hand over my heart. "You scared me," I stated the obvious.

"Your door wasn't locked," she explained as if it was justified.

"No, but it was closed. You could have knocked." My breathing started to return to normal.

"What were you doing that you needed it shut?" she asked, her voice full of accusation.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know, changing?" I deadpanned. I caught Ashley's smile in the corner of my eye. "I'm sure Glen, Clay, and Dad appreciate my thought of modesty."

She didn't say anything else, but she remained standing in the doorway, her eyes never straying far from Ashley. The brunette's eyes remained locked on the magazine, and only briefly looked up when I'd ask her opinion on an outfit. I finally decided on an outfit, much to my and Ashley's relief.

"You look beautiful Spence," my mom commented proudly, though I didn't know how she saw my outfit, what with her eyes permanently fixed on Ashley. Ashley chose not to comment.

"Thanks," I smiled, feeling very relieved when she left.

"I think it just got twenty degrees warmer in here," Ashley deadpanned.

"Sorry. I don't know what her deal is." I felt obligated to apologize.

"I do," Ashley shrugged. She looked down at my feet. "Why are you wearing those shoes?" she asked critically.

I glanced down too. "Well, we might be dancing," I answered slowly, second guessing my shoe choice.

"Well then why are you wearing the heels? Are you expecting Kelly to sweet you off your feet?" she teased. I laughed and threw a pillow at her. "Or maybe you were hoping to get blisters so you'd have an excuse to come home early?" She sounded a little too hopeful.

"Or you could just break my legs so I couldn't go at all," I suggested.

She got a devious look on her face and walked her fingers over toward my leg. "Ah!" I scolded her as I slapped her hand away. "I'm sorry I hit you," I said as I saw her pout.

"Sniff, it hurts real bad Spence." She held out her "hurt" hand to me.

"Aw, you poor thing," I coddled her. I grabbed her hand and stroked it lightly. "Better?" I asked gently.

She shook her head. "Nuh uh." Her lip quivered.

I laughed rolled my eyes, and before I could catch myself, I brought her hand to my mouth and gave it a light kiss. Our eyes locked and I zoned out to everything but her. I saw an unrecognizable look in her beautiful eyes, taking note of the almost imperceptible different shades of brown that made up her eyes. It scared and excited me at the same time that I was notice something as minute as that.

My heart sped up and my mouth suddenly went dry- not that I was planning on saying anything.

Really, what could I say? I had no way of explaining what I was feeling- let alone what I was thinking- and part of me was afraid that speaking would end whatever this was.

"Kelly's here," my mom interrupted again.

I was snapped from my trance and I quickly dropped Ashley's hand and stood up as my mom opened the door. The moment was gone.

Was it a moment? Definitely not! You don't have moments with your best friend.

For once I was glad my mom interrupted. I wasn't ready to think about whatever just happened.

Ashley followed me downstairs, and we both stopped as we spotted Kelly. She was really dressed up. I looked nice, but I felt like I was clothed in shorts and a t-shirt in comparison to her.

"Not a date?" I heard Ashley whisper in my ear. I subtly nudged her with my elbow before walking over toward Kelly.

"Hey." I felt like I was being leered at.

"Hey," I said back, reminding myself to smile.

"So Kelly," my dad began, "Spencer tells me you go to a pretty good school." Really Dad? Way to not bore her to death.

"Yeah," she nodded, "Benton Academy." I could tell she was just being polite and really didn't feel like getting into a discussion about school.

"We wanted to take Spence there but-"

"K bye," I cut him off as I pulled Kelly's arm and dragged her out the door.

"Have fun, Spence," I heard Ashley say. Jerk.

"Sorry, my family is embarrassing." I got in her car and buckled up.

"No more than any one else's. They're nice." She gave me an easy smile.

We fell into a comfortable silence, but I felt slight uncomfortable because she kept looking at me.

"You look really good Spencer," she finally told me.

I told myself to look at her. "Thanks, you look nice too." I tried to overlook her choice of words. Damn, Ashley had me paranoid.

Another silence followed and it stayed until we arrived at the club. Once we got inside we pretty much just made small talk.

"They're pretty good," I told Kelly as we sipped our drinks at our table.

"What?" she cupped a hand to her ear.

"I said they're good," I yelled at her, putting my face closer to hers.

"Oh. Yeah. You wanna dance?" she asked randomly. I noticed Kelly seemed to have the attention span of a bird.

I wasn't exactly pro dance, but figured it was better than sitting at the table making pointless conversation. "Sure." I was barely able to breathe out my answer before she was pulling me to the dance floor. I wondered what she would have done had I said no.

We started dancing, or, more accurately, I danced; Kelly was practically dry humping the air. She must have decided to share the wealth with me, because she danced her way over to close the few remaining feet between us. I was feeling uncomfortable, but that was nothing compared to how I felt when she thrust her pelvis into me.

Too much! my brain screamed out to me. I frantically tried to think of how I could possible get out of this situation. "Bathroom" I quickly shouted, not caring about how lame the excuse was. Kelly looked at my quizzically and nodded.

I weaved in and out of people on my way to the restrooms but was stopped by her hand. Great, why did girls have to go to the bathrooms together? Screw the buddy system.

I really didn't want to be rude so I just let her come with me.

"Ready to go?" Kelly asked as I was washing my hands.

Yes! Great idea Kelly! "Yeah, let's go." I managed to tone my eagerness down.

"It was too loud and crowded in there," Kelly said as she turned down a street.

"Yeah, I didn't feel like yelling at you anymore," I joked, feeling a lot more relaxed now that she was restrained by a seatbelt.

She laughed. "You're funny Spencer."

I was, wasn't I? I guess my humor strengthened in weird situations, i.e., this one.

"Well thanks for inviting me. It was a nice break from house arrest."

"No problem. I'm glad you got to come out." She gave me an appraising look.

I looked out the window to avoid her gaze. "Where are we?" I asked confused as she pulled into a dimly lit area where lots of other cars were parked.

She unbuckled her seatbelt once she had parked. "You said you wanted to talk," she said with a laugh, and I could just imagine her playfully hitting my nose. That explained the shudder that went through me.

"Ok. So let's talk." Talking, I could definitely do talking.

"I've got a better idea," she said, her voice suddenly husky and sounding a lot closer.

Warning sirens were assaulting my brain, but I was frozen in disbelief. Her face got closer and my nerves finally started sending messages to my body again. I pulled my face back with a look of shock.

"What's your deal?" she demanded angrily.

"Me? What's yours?" I stared at her with an incredulous look.

"Is this some experiment or are you just a tease?" All trace of niceness was gone. Psycho Kelly was on the field now and she wasn't subbing out anytime soon.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I defended, pissed that she assumed anything.

"Whatever. Let's get Spencerella home so she can turn into the straight girl."

She obviously didn't handle rejection well. I wasn't going to say anything else. Her driving was crazy as it was, and I assumed any comments I made would just make her foot press down harder on the gas- if that were possible.

The ride back was definitely uncomfortable, and I was barely out of her car before she slammed on the accelerator, sending gravel pieces flying at dangerous speeds. I went inside and went to head up to my room to see Ashley when the girl in question called my name and stopped me. I turned and saw her walking out of the kitchen, wearing an expectant look.

"Well you were right, it was a date. At least to her." I sat down next to her on the couch, preparing myself for the '_I told you so_,' I knew I was about to hear. Ashley was quiet though, apparently wanting to hear the rest of the story.

"She started dancing on me and I practically sprinted to the bathroom and she stalked me there!" I complained about crazy Kelly.

Ashley looked like she was barely refraining from laughing. "Did she park with you?"

"Yeah," I answered slowly, wondering where this was going.

Ashley got a knowing look on her face. "And try to kiss you?" she continued.

"Yeah," I said again. "How did you know?"

"She pulled the same move on me last year."

I sat back a little to get a better look at her. "You knew and didn't tell me?" I accused, slightly hurt.

She scoffed. "As I recall I did. You didn't want to hear it," she threw back at me.

"Well I just thought that you were-"

"Jealous?" Ashley filled in, and I nodded sheepishly. "Well I was." I turned my head so quickly I thought I heard something snap. I stared at her, trying to decipher what she had said, figuring out if there were any hidden meanings. "You know, in a friend's way," she explained quickly.

Oh.

I didn't quite understand the disappointment I felt at her words. This had been happening a lot, this uncertainty of how to feel around Ashley. It ranged from feeling nervous around her, to feeling content around her, to not knowing how to act at all around her, and I didn't appreciate my confusion.

"Well I'm sorry I didn't believe you," I said sincerely, feeling like an ass for about the fourth time this week.

"It's ok, you're forgiven. Wow, that's twice in one week," she counted on her fingers.

I laughed and nudged her with my elbow. "Well thanks, I appreciate it. I know I've been a bad friend lately, and I'm sorry. You don't deserve it."

She smiled and put her arms out for a hug. I smiled back and leaned into her as she wrapped her arms around me and I whole heartedly reciprocated. I enjoyed the hugs, that much I knew with certainty. It made me feel more connected to her, as if I could better understand her just by inhaling her vanilla scent and feeling the gentle warmth from her.

She briefly tightened her arms around me, and I felt her head lightly rest on my shoulder and her breath lightly hit my neck. A mini shudder coursed through me and my body thrummed softly.

There was something flashing through my mind, similar to the moment with Kelly, but this was different. These weren't warning signs, they were more of a subtle presence in my mind that I didn't fully understand but I knew they existed and that they felt foreign but nice, and that was all that mattered in this moment.

"It's getting late," my mom said harshly, and I immediately let go of Ashley, already missing her warmth.

"K," I consented. "Let's go, Ash," I told her as I headed to the stairs.

"Actually, I'm making a bed up for Ashley down here." My mom held up blankets and a pillow and ignored the accusing look I gave her.

Ashley looked at me, making me more irritated at my mom's action. "Oh, um, ok. Thanks, Mrs. C." Ashley turned to me. "Night Spence. See you in the morning. Thanks again for letting me stay." Ashley nodded towards my mom and gave her a small, timid smile.

"It's our pleasure," she managed to force out, looking as if she had just drank spoiled milk. "Night girls," she said dismissively, but she made no attempt to leave. I realized her silent message and I rolled my eyes as I headed to bed.

-**Sorry about my mom-**

**-Its ok. I'm glad I got to stay-**

**-k. See you tomorrow-**

**-Night- ­**

**---  
**

I glanced at my clock. _10:45_. Yeah, mom would definitely be asleep. She had to be at work at five so she was long gone by now. I grabbed my phone and text Ashley.

-**You awake?- **I sent, holding my breath anxiously.

-**No sleeping- **

I laughed and sent back **-Smart ass- **

I silently crept out of my room with my body pillow, reminding myself that the fourth stair from the bottom squeaked.

"What are you doing?" Ashley whispered as she spotted the body pillow.

"Come on, you're sleeping in my room." I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the makeshift bed.

She quietly laughed. "Spence, you're crazy." But I was pleased that she grabbed the body pillow and put it under the covers.

Ok, so it wasn't the best idea, but at a quick glance at five in the morning it could look like a person…right? Right! I assured myself.

"Now come on," I breathed out, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs, both of us quietly laughing as we forgot about the squeaky step and managed to stomp on it, causing it to emit a loud "eeeeewoooo" sound.

"Ahh, much better," Ashley sighed contently as she settled herself in my bed.

I smiled at her but quickly turned serious. "I'm really sorry about my mom."

"You don't have to keep apologizing for her, you know."

I settled in next to her and turned on my side to face her. "Yeah I know, but I wish she didn't treat you like that. I hate it." I whispered vehemently.

"She'll come around," she promised, sounding unsure even to me.

"Well you're my best friend, so she'll have to get over it. It's not changing."

I could hear her smile. "Spence," she said sweetly, her eyes closing.

"Yeah?" I asked with interest as I propped myself on my elbows.

She smiled and shook her head at herself. "You're a good friend, that's all. Night."

"Nigh Ash," I smiled in the darkness, really curious about what she really wanted to say but knowing she wasn't going to tell me, at least not yet. I closed my eyes, and with her warmth next to me, I quickly fell asleep.


	10. Realize

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_A big thinks to everyone who has reviewed and added this story to their favorites list! My heart is all fuzzy and stuff :3  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated ;)_

_-_

Chapter 10: Realize

"_If you just realized what I just realized_

_Then we'd be perfect for each other_

_And we'd never find another_"

Colby Caillat

-

My alarm went off and I groaned as I clumsily fumbled around for it with my hand- I wasn't quite ready to open my eyes. I turned on my side and as I put a hand out, I hit something soft and warm.

Ashley, I remembered with a smile. I opened my eyes to see her asleep on her side, breathing evenly. Her curly hair had fallen slightly in her face and I wanted to brush it away but feared waking her. A glance at my clock told me I needed to get up. I stood up and stretched, biting back a laugh as Ashley immediately rolled over and occupied my spot.

She shifted and blinked slowly. "Madison?" she called out groggily.

"Ha ha, very funny." I hit her with a pillow as she smiled. "Do you often wake up next to her?" I questioned.

"Only in my nightmares." She stretched and her shirt rose slightly. I cursed myself for even noticing and quickly went into the bathroom to get ready.

"Where are the towels?" Ashley asked as she came into the bathroom. I looked up from brushing my teeth and almost swallowed my toothpaste. She was just in her underwear and bra. I'm sure my slightly opened mouth made me look very cool, further enhanced by my inability to speak.

All I could say in my defense was that she did look good. Her body was tone without being gross, yet still able to look soft and feminine.

Although now that I think about it, I don't think that helped my case very much.

"Uh, they're underneath the sink," I finally managed out, gesturing my free hand to the cabinet. I pretended to cough, hoping to convince her to believe that I was choking on toothpaste, and that's why I couldn't form any coherent words. I doubted it worked, but I didn't want to dwell on it too much.

Ashley and I had changed in front of each other lots of times, plus with Ashley being as confident as she was, this was a usual thing for her. Ashley could easily be described as hot, I could admit that- hell, anyone with eyes could. But that didn't give my heart the right to speed up, or my hands permission to get clammy, or my mouth to go dry and stop working.

Thankfully I had my toothbrush, so I could play it off. And though my heart felt like it was through my chest, I highly doubted she heard it. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard the shower turn on. Finally some time to compose myself.

I went to my parent's room to shower and headed back to my room to finish getting ready. My room smelled like Ashley as I walked in. Great, this will definitely help me stop thinking about her, I thought sarcastically. Thinking about the brunette made me wonder if she thought about me this much.

She told me I was pretty, even went as far to say hot, but was that it? I mean how exactly do you ask your best friend what she thinks of you, totally disregarding that she's gay. Yeah, that wouldn't be weird. 'Hey Ash, you know how you said I was hot? Well, if I were gay would you date me?'

"Yeah," she answered, stepping out from the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel. The rest of her, thankfully, was clothed.

Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! Did I say that out loud? What the hell is wrong with me? Better yet, what the hell do I do?

"I uh- was kidding," I finished lamely, praying she'd let it go.

"What?" she asked, giving me a weird look.

"I was kidding?" I tried again, sounding unsure.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" she demanded.

"What are _you_ talking about?" I was beyond confused, and apparently so was she.

"You said, 'Hey Ash,' and I said 'yeah?' and then you said you were kidding…" she dropped off and gave me a look letting me know she was concerned for my sanity.

Oh thank God! I didn't say all of it! I audibly sighed causing Ashley to give me another strange look.

"Are you ok? You're acting more weird than usual." She didn't even know, for which I was thankful.

"Yeah, fine, just thinking about Kelly," I quickly lied, knowing talking about the girl would take Ashley's mind off our current conversation.

"Oh, so that's why you moaned her name," Ashley commented in realization, taking her mascara from my hands and ignoring my protest of, "I'm still using it."

"Better than moaning Madison's," I countered with a shrug.

"I dreamt I was strangling her. You'd moan about that too."

I laughed and shook my head. "You're so sadistic."

She again snatched her mascara out of me reach, sticking her tongue out at me. "But you love me anyway," she said as she leaned towards me and smiled.

I purposely paused for a few moments before sighing dramatically. "I suppose."

She gave me a big grin and finally surrendered the mascara back to me and we finished getting ready.

---

I was glad I got to ride with her to school. I definitely missed spending time with her. It was like there was this part of me that I didn't know I was missing until Ashley came into my life and filled it. I looked over at the brunette and smiled.

She turned to face me and smiled back, although she most likely didn't know why I was smiling. "What are you thinking about, Spence?" she asked curiously. I really hoped I never stopped feeling giddy over the nickname.

"Just how glad I am that we're friends."

She looked at me and gave me a breathtaking smile. "Me too," she agreed shyly but with conviction.

My heart swelled with adoration for her and I felt the familiar giddy feeling sweep through me. I say familiar because I felt it pretty much every time I was around Ashley: when she looked at me, when she smiled at me, when she hugged me, when she texted or called me…hell, even when she was just being her cocky self.

And it scared me. This was strange and foreign and completely new to me, but there was a big part of me that relished it, that told me that change was good, that this was good.

Maybe I was reading too much into it. I'd had friends before. My friendship with Ashley was different, but not in a weird way or anything. Maybe I was confusing feelings of comfort and security with something else entirely. People did that all the time, right? Though these days I hardly felt comfortable around her.

Try nervous. Unsettled. Anxious. Speechless. Breathless.

Ashley was an attractive girl, everyone-especially the brunette herself- knew it. Me noticing that didn't mean anything. But the whole deal with Kelly got me thinking. Kelly obviously thought that I was g- um, into her. Something must have made her assume that.

So…was I g- into girls? No. No. There was no way. Nothing against that, I mean I had no problem with Ashley, but that wasn't me…at all.

I'd never even thought about girls in that way, so how could I be? Seeing girls around school didn't get me all excited or anything, and I still thought Aiden was hot.

All my thinking did was leave me feeling more confused. I certainly couldn't talk to my mom about this. Oh God, she'd have me committed to some Nazi boarding school. Maybe that would clear my head, I thought, not entirely joking. Yeah, that'd be great. I can barely go a day without seeing Ashley, let alone go months.

My phone vibrating saved me from further thought.

-**You have been thoughtful lately. Everything ok?- **

I smiled at her concern.

-**yeah, just a lot going on in my head. Kind feeling overwhelmed-**

**-You wanna talk about it?- **

Again I smiled. She was caring.

-**No, I'm good, thanks though. Just need to figure it out.-**

**-…its not about your Darby conspiracy theory, is it?- **

I laughed and quickly turned it into a cough as Hitler turned and gave me a hard look from the front of the class.

-**lol no its not. But I'm still holding strong to that belief-**

**-You have to let it go Spence-**

**-6 years of therapy doesn't qualify you- **

I heard her laugh from beside me.

-**Really? And how does that make you feel?-**

I literally laughed out loud and felt Ashley gently pat my back. It quickly turned to a sharp hit as she tried to alert me to Mrs. Darby's presence.

"Would you like to share what's so funny, Ms. Carlin?" she asked, her mouth turned in a tight frown. I wondered if she even knew how to smile. Probably not.

I put my head down in fake shame, hoping she'd buy it. "Sorry Mrs. Darby, I was just thinking about Ophelia's character in _Hamlet_ and how sad but funny her character's disposition was," I improvised.

What in the hell kind of lie was that? I demanded of myself.

"Smooth," I heard Ashley whisper.

"Would you like to add something, Ms. Davies?"

Ashley didn't even seem panicked. "I'm not real big on class participation," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well how do you feel about detention?"

Ashley paused as if actually considering. "Nah," she finally answered, "I'm not real big on that either." I didn't know whether to laugh or hit her.

"Then I suggest you and Ms. Carlin keep focused," she said harshly, then pivoted and stormed back to her desk.

I quickly grabbed my phone. –**How's that theory looking now?-**

**-Coincidence. Besides, we got off the hook-**

**-Barely-** I reminded her.

-**You ever get tired of wearing that halo-**

**-It brings out my baby blues-**

**-So does the cross on your neck-**

**-Better than the leash you have around mine-**

**-Gasp! Spence I'm shocked you think that. Now pay attention-**

**-You're one to talk, hypocrite-**

**-;)- **

It was amazing that one little text character could crack me up so much, but then again, it was from Ashley, who managed to make any situation funny. She claimed it was a gift. She said that about most things about herself. But conceitedness was just one wonderful part of the Ashley Davies package, and you couldn't help but love every single part.

Ashley headed out early- something about her mom finally ready to tell eight she had a daughter- so I was left to sit with Clay and Chelsea. They were finally official by the way. It wasn't so bad sitting with them.. Clay was way better than Glen any day, and Chelsea and I had gotten closer since she was over at our house so much. Not to say it wasn't partially awkward, though.

Clay was embarrassed to initiate contact with Chelsea, so he'd go to grab her hand and then change his mind and quickly grab a napkin or something random. Chelsea would give an annoyed sigh and I'd bite back a laugh and update Ashley via text on the situation. It was sad that even though I was texting her, I still missed her and wished she wouldn't have left early.

After school I had to, of course, go straight home. Dad was in the living room watching tv, and I made up my mind to talk to him.

"Hey sweetie," he smiled at me and scooted over to make room for me. "How was school?"

"It was fine," I said quickly, wanting to get to my point as soon as possible. He must have noticed my distractedness because he shifted to face me and put on his listening face.

"What's bothering you, Spencer?" he asked knowingly.

"I-" I started, wondering how I was going to be able to convey everything I was feeling. "Have you ever felt like everyone is expecting you to fit into this mold they have laid of for you, but when you go to get in it, you find out you just don't fit in it like you thought you would?"

Wow, that was kind of vague.

He nodded. "Sure honey, everyone has," he assured me gently. "But sometimes, Spence, you have to step away from the mold and allow yourself to shape into something different. You have to find the mold that best fits how you've changed." I smiled as he went along with my analogy.

"I just am so afraid of what people will think if I don't meet their expectations," I confessed quietly, hating that I cared so much.

He put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed it. "You're only sixteen. No one your age should know who they are. This is the time when you find out for yourself. You can't let anyone else decide for you."

I let his wise words sink in for a moment. "I just don't want to be different. I want everyone to accept me," I finished with a shrug, wishing it was as simple as I made it seem.

He nodded in understanding. "Being different isn't wrong. Being different is part of being human. It's what we do with our differences that define us. Spence, you know I'll always love you, no matter what." He kissed my head and headed into the kitchen to start on his dinner.

His last statement made me wonder if he really knew what I was telling him. Whether he did or not, I knew he was sincere in his words, and it again made me realize how lucky I was to have him as my father. I tried to picture having this talk with my mom.

_'I don't know what to do, Mom,'_ I would confess. _'I feel like I am disappointing so many people and I don't know why.'_

_'The Bible will guide you Spencer,'_ she'd tell me matter of factly, and then the subject would be dropped.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the Bible as much as the next person. I'd read it before- no, not the whole thing- and I believed in God, but from what I'd heard and read, the Bible wasn't exactly pro-gay. Words like eternal damnation floated through my mind. And since the Bible wasn't all about promoting rainbows, my mom wouldn't be either.

Yeah, Dad was definitely the preferred choice. He was a strong catholic like Mom, but I guess with him being a counselor, he was a lot more sympathetic and definitely way more open minded than Mom.

_I was absently flipping through the channels and passed by Will & Grace. I didn't stop or go back to it, I had just simply passed by it. Mom, however, spent the next five minutes lecturing us kids about the wrongness of homosexuality. She said tv made it seem like it was all sunshine and butterflies, when the reality was hell, which was all lake of fire and Satan._

_Glen grabbed the remote from me and turned off the tv in hopes that she'd stop. It didn't even phase her._

_"Even with the tv off, you can't filter that kind of sin. We shouldn't encourage things like that," she lectured, and we all quickly nodded our agreement, hoping that she would get the hint that we understood and she could stop talking. She finally stopped when my dad came in carrying the pizza. _

_Thank God for Papa Johns, I couldn't help but think._

I was confident in my thoughts about her reaction. I mean I just had to look at the way she treated Ashley to confirm it.

I went upstairs to mull over my conversation with my dad. What did it mean? Was I g-gay? I finally asked myself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Ashley was "not into labels" but I knew if I asked my magic 8 ball if she was gay, it would say "signs point to yes." Well, it would if I could find it in the basement and if Glen hadn't used it as a baseball. Anyway, back to my sexual identity crisis.

I didn't freak out like I thought I would; probably because I'd been debating with myself for so long, there had been an acceptance that was slowly building.

I was gay. I liked girls.

If I could have looked into my future and seen this, I never would have believed it. But now…now it didn't seem too bad. Though there was the whole part about telling my parents. Dad would be easy, but Mom? And even Glen and Clay? Wait, I changed my mind, I wasn't ready. What about marriage…and kids? What was I doing? Was I really going to throw everything away because I was confused?

But on the other hand, was all that really my dream, or was it a dream planted into my mind? It was like my dad said, 'Don't let anyone else decide for you.' This was my life, and I firmly believed that everything happens for a reason, so why not this too?

I ended my seemingly limitless questions to go eat dinner. Glen was bragging about his game winning shot, and I was subjected to my fifth play-by-play of the day. I wisely stuffed my face with bread to avoid commenting.

Clay updated us about school and then Chelsea, claiming he was saving the best for last. He was such a sweetie. It was a shame about Glen.

Mom told us about a surgery she had to perform, thankfully only giving us a brief overview. Ever since that one time at dinner when she went into gross details about open heart surgery, we begged her to stop being so descriptive, and her stories became significantly less graphic.

"So how's Ashley?" My dad asked.

I gave him a strange look at his random question. "She's doing good."

Really what else could I say? I wasn't sure if he was purposely implying her name into our earlier talk.

"She's doing well," my mom corrected. I held back an eye roll.

"She still gay?" Glen asked smartly, deciding he wanted to join this conversation too.

I threw down my napkin and pushed my chair out to leave. "Do you have to be a jerk all the time?" I spat out angrily.

"Sit down Spencer," my mom ordered me sternly. I obediently listened, glaring at Glen the whole time as I sat back down. "Now finish your meal. You know you just don't get to leave without helping to clear the table."

I wondered at the chance of my fork hitting her jugular if I threw it across the table. I immediately felt bad- a little.

"So is that a yes?" Glen prodded.

"Glen," my dad said in a warning tone.

He put his hands up defensively. "What, I'm just asking about her friends."

"What does it matter?" I asked.

"Spencer," my mom chastised me in a disapproving voice.

"No, I'm tired of the comments about her." I slammed my napkin down again- the poor thing. "Ashley is a person just like any of us. She's been nothing but polite to you guys and yet you make her not want to come over. And you," I said turning to my mom and pointing at her accusingly, "either act like she doesn't exist or that she has some deadly disease."

My mom scoffed. "Now Spencer, that's not-"

"And I'm sick of it!" I interrupted. "You don't have to get along with her, but you do have to accept that she's my best friend, because that's not going to change."

I waited for any comments, feeling pleased that I had silenced everyone. I started to take my plate to the kitchen but my dad touched my arm and told me he'd take care of it and that I could go upstairs. I gave him a grateful smile and headed to my room.

-**8 is over, oh joy-**

**-Save me!-**

**-I really hate you not being able to talk on your phone-**

were the three texts I had from Ashley. They made me laugh as I read them, and I instantly felt a little better.

"Oh thank God," Ashley answered the phone excitedly.

I laughed and said, "Sorry I let you suffer."

"Eight bought me a white gold Tiffany bracelet, so I can't complain too much." I pictured her shrugging in indifference.

"Sounds better than my night," I told her softly.

Concern immediately flowed into her voice. "What happened?"

I sighed. "Just family stuff. Mainly Glen being an ass and Mom being…well Mom."

"I see," she said, but I knew that she really did understand. "You want my bracelet?" she offered.

I laughed despite myself. "No, that's ok." I paused and then added, "Thanks."

"It's not really my style anyway," she explained.

"No," I smiled, "I meant for cheering me up. You always seem to know how."

"No one should be sad, least of all you Spence." Again I could see her shrugging, trying to brush of my thanks like she normally did. "I don't like you being upset. You're too good of a person." Her tone was soft and warm and pleasing, and I felt myself smile into my pillow, feeling a little embarrassed.

"You too, Ash," I assured her gently, wanting her to know that I knew the real Ashley, even if no one else could see it.

"Not even, Spence. I wish I could be more like you," she confessed softly, her vulnerable side taking over.

I was shocked. She wanted to be like me? Why?

"I've done a lot I'm not proud of," she continued, "stuff that no one else knows. Spence, sometimes I'm afraid that if you knew everything, we wouldn't be friends."

I shook my head firmly, even though I knew she couldn't see it. "Don't say that. I don't care about what you did in your past. All I care about is the Ashley Davies now. I'm not going to stop being your friend," I promised. "God Ash, don't you realize that I wish I was more like you? I wish I had half your confidence and boldness. How can you not see what everyone else sees, that you're beautiful inside and out?" I asked her in disbelief.

Really, how could she not see that? She seemed so sure of herself, yet in moments like this, it was hard to believe that Ashley even had a cocky side.

"Spence," she whispered with so much emotion. "I don't deserve our friendship. I keep waiting for me to mess things up, or for me to wake up and realized it was all a great dream."

I desperately wished that I was there so I could hug her and reassure her physically that I was there for her. "You do deserve it," I told her passionately. "And you can't mess it up. I'm always going to be there for you. You'll probably get sick of me," I warned her with a smile.

She laughed and said, "Now it's my turn to thank you."

"Wait, let me write this down. Dear Diary, today Ashley Davies said thank you."

"I changed my mind, I don't want to be like you. You're mean," she pouted.

"And you're too sensitive," I shot back playfully.

"It's because I have this thing called a heart," she explained.

"Heart?" I asked curiously.

"I would tell you to ask your mom about it, but she wouldn't know either."

"Ah," I laughed," I was wondering how long you could go before you dissed my mom."

"Sorry, I was having withdrawals," she said, not sounding sorry at all.

"All that medication and none for that?"

"Touché, Spence, touché."

We sat in silence for a few moments, and I regretfully decided I had to let her go. I was sure my mom wouldn't give me much more privacy, and obviously closed doors didn't mean anything to her.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed. Night, Ash." I closed my eyes as I waited for her goodbye, knowing I never hang up till I hear it.

"Thanks again Spence. You'll never know how much this means," she told me, but I had a pretty good idea how she felt. "Night, sleep tight."

There was a slight pause as neither of us hung up, and it made my body hum pleasantly, knowing that even though we both said goodbye, we still didn't want to get off the phone. I hung up with a smile.

I clicked through my phone till I got to my pictures. A bigger smile formed as I scrolled through my photos of and saw the numerous ones of herself Ashley had taken. She really was amazing in so many ways, and just like she did, I thanked God for our friendship.

_She paused as if she was thinking of how best to say her next words. "I..I thank God that I have you," she confessed quietly, and my urge to hug her returned tenfold. Ashley was, by no means, religious, and yet she still thanked God. Hearing her say that made me so happy._

_"Ash," I said sweetly._

That was all I had said in response. Her name, the nickname I loved so much. But she knew, and it was enough. For both of us.


	11. Why Can't I

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Another review and my giddiness returns full swing! :D Wow, this is the halfway point of the story :( very bittersweet for me. Anyway, this is a shorter chapter so double update! As promised, the SON storyline from the show does end so hang tight friends ;)  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated ;)_

_-_

Chapter 11: Why Can't I

"_Why cant I breathe whenever I think about you?_

_Why can't a speak, whenever I talk about you?_"

Liz Phair

-

I woke up and did my normal routine of getting ready for school when my text tone went off. I flipped it open to see a message from Ashley.

-**Look at your window-**

I did as the text instructed and looked down to see Ashley wearing her bathing suit, of course looking breathtaking.

-**What are you doing?- **

I sent back. I wasn't about to yell and alert my mom to Ashley's presence. She'd have her hosed down or something.

-**Skipping. Come with!­**

**-You know I have a test-**

**-And? Come on Spence-**

I debated for a few minutes, weighing the pros and cons. It didn't take me long at all to decide. It was either spend time with Ashley or spend time at school. Needless to say, Ashley easily won.

­-**Ugh fine-**

**-Kiss kiss Spence, you know you love me-**

**-Don't know why though ;-p**

I closed my phone and quickly searched for my cutest suit and threw it on and slid on some shoes. I was out my bedroom door before I realized I only had my suit on, no clothes on over it. I didn't think my mom would believe that it was Bathing Suit Day at school. I put on shorts and a tank top and ran downstairs.

"Getting a ride from a friend!" I yelled out as I sprinted out the door. I wasn't going to give my mom a chance to ask questions.

"Wow," Ashley said with amazement, "that was really f-" I cut her off as I quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her to her car. "-ast," she finished as we closed the doors and she cranked her car.

"Gun it lady," I ordered.

I laughed when Ashley saluted and said, "Aye aye captain!"

Her black Eclipse sped out of my neighborhood and I felt giddiness enter me as I thought of what I was doing and with whom.

"I can't believe I'm skipping a test and going to the beach with you. My mom would die if she knew."

"Yeah, all the things she hates combined. You not being her perfect Brady kid…and ME!" she smiled widely as she named herself.

I put a hand on her knee and patted it gently. "At least you've accepted it. That's the first step to recovery."

"Thanks, Mr. C," she said sarcastically, giving me a gorgeous smile- the only one she was capable of giving.

---

"I didn't bring any thing other than a towel," I realized as Ashley put her stuff on the beach.

She gave me a confused look. "What else do you need?"

"Some of us provoke the sun to give us third degree burn," I indicated myself with a gesture of my hands.

"Viva la vida," she answered with a shrug as she took off her shorts.

I paused and looked off in the distance with a questioning look as I tried to figure out her words. "…Live the life?" I asked her curiously.

My thoughts immediately ceased as I saw her in her bathing suit. My eyes slowly took in her beautiful, tan figure, as if they were trying to memorize every smooth area of skin.

"Dunno," she answered distractedly as she rummaged through her bag. "Seemed like the thing to say. Aha! Here you go Spence." She handed me some sunscreen, which thankfully managed to shake me out of my daze.

After several failed attempts to cover my back, I was starting to get frustrated with my stupid hands and the stupid bottle. I felt the sunscreen being taken from grasp.

"Hey," I protested, "I wasn't-" done, I finished to myself. I wasn't able to speak out loud; Ashley's soft hands were gently rubbing the lotion on my back. My skin burned, and I felt as if she was making it worse than any heat the sun could create.

My whole body felt fuzzy, and now I wasn't sure if I really did want her to take her hands away. It felt good. But she did take them away, and I sent a quick thank you to God that I didn't shiver or moan while under her gentle assault.

"Me Spence?" I distantly heard Ashley ask.

"Huh?" I looked up and saw her sitting in front of me, holding the bottle of sunscreen out expectantly. "Oh," I said in realization as I processed what she had asked. "Yeah, sure," I managed out. Here we go.

I squeezed some sunscreen into my hand, praying she couldn't feel my hands shaking. I lightly rubbed the lotion onto her smooth back, taking notice that although her face looked calm, her body seemed a little tense. That did nothing to comfort me however, especially not after her next words.

"A little harder, Spence," she said quietly.

My eyes turned to saucers. What?! "What?" I asked hesitantly, sure I had misheard.

"Could you rub a little harder? I'd rather not have white streaks on me," she smiled and laughed lightly.

Oh God. OH GOD! I was surely going to hell. But honestly, how could any one not think that?! Please tell me she didn't know what she had just said.

I really didn't have any other choice but to comply.

I added a little more pressure, holding my breath as I slid my hand beneath the tie of her bikini. I stopped millisecond as I heard a sharp intake of breath come from her. I quickly glanced at her and saw that her eyes were closed and she looked extremely relaxed. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focused on the task on hand- no pun intended.

Her skin was already warm from the sun, and I fought back the random urge to lightly trace her beautiful back. And since when were backs beautiful? I demanded of myself.

"Ok Spence, I think you've pretty much upped my SPF to 70 by now," Ashley teased in a low voice.

I quickly snatched my hands back. I hadn't even realized I had been absently rubbing her back. Damn hands, I cursed the traitors.

"Didn't want your perfect skin getting burned," I attempted to joke to cover my slip up.

She gave me an amused look. "Yeah, because of the two of us, I'm more likely to get those UV rays," she retorted as she put her sunglasses on and fell back on her towel.

"Maybe my mom put a curse on you?" I suggested as I too went to lie on my towel.

She considered this for a moment. "Nah, she doesn't want to curse me, she wants to cure me."

I laughed and we laid in a comfortable silence, basking in the warmth of the sun and each other's presence. I heard Ashley shift and I tilted my sunglasses up and squinted at her questioningly.

"Come on, let's swim." She stood up and put her sunglasses on her towel.

"I'm still UV protected," I whined. "I need to soak up as much sun as possible; otherwise I'll be albino forever," I complained as she took my sunglasses off me and grabbed my hand.

"There isn't enough sun in LA for that," she answered cheekily as she tugged on my hand. "Spencer," she whined when I made no move to get up.

I gave a dramatic sigh. "Pulling my leash again, Ash." But I got up anyway, much to Ashley's joy.

The smile she gave me made it worth it, and also when she continued to hold my hand as we ran to the water. Well I say _we_ ran, but really Ashley dragged me-not that I didn't go completely willingly.

Ashley excitedly- and a bit clumsily- ran us into a wave. We both emerged, sputtering with laughter and receiving a nice mouthful of lovely salt water. She suddenly smiled devilishly and inched towards me. Part of me was worried about the look in her eye, but the other part only took note of her getting closer.

"Spencer," Ashley said in a raspy voice, making me shiver with…with something exciting, though I didn't know what or why.

"Y-yeah?" I breathed out. I swallowed as she got even closer, our faces mere inches apart.

Ashley smiled again, and I couldn't help but think she knew the affect she had on me and was loving it. She put one arm around my shoulder, and her other arm went to the back of my head. I froze. Was she going to-???

She leaned in a little more and just as her face neared mine, she pushed down on my head and sent me into the water. I broke the water quickly, swallowing the bitter water and glaring at the brunette who was doubled over in laughter.

"You are so dead," I threatened as she took off towards the shore, still laughing.

"Base!" she said excitedly as she ran to her towel and sat down. I shook my head and smiled at her childish antics, maturely ringing my saturated hair out on her.

She screamed in surprise and sent me a shocked look as I sat beside her on my towel.

"All's fair," I shrugged with an evil smile.

"You're a sore loser." She stuck her tongue out.

"Nu uh," I purposely sounded like a little kid, "you cheated!"

She gave me a challenging look. "Oh, did I? How?"

Because I thought you were going to kiss me, so I was a little distracted and was completely caught off guard, was what I thought. What I actually said was, "You just did."

"Ha, you can't think of anything. That means I win!" She crossed her arms and gave a "hmm" in triumph.

I kept secretly-or so I hoped- stealing glances at Ashley, wondering how I'd managed to get myself into this whole thing. But as I stared at her and took in everything about her from her gorgeous looks to her amazing loyalty and compassion, I completely understood how I'd ended up here.

"So, I have something to tell you." I decided Ashley was the best person to talk to about this. "I think…I think I like girls," I rushed out quickly.

Ashley turned on her side to look at me. "Like like?"

I paused. "I-I think so, but how do you know if you're-" I dropped my voice.

"Gay?" she supplied and I nodded. "Well how do you know if you're straight?" she turned back to me.

I gave her a pained look. "I thought that was the easy part."

"Nothing's easy Spence." She stood up. "Come on, let's walk."

"Ok," I said as we started our walk along the sand, "say I see Aiden, and I think he's hot. But then I notice the girl he's with, and I'm more attracted to her." I clasped my hands together.

"When we're in the locker room, do you look away or watch the other girls," Ashley asked, watching me intently to gauge me reaction.

"I…I guess I look," I confessed shyly, shuffling my feet in the sand.

"There are plenty of reasons for that," she explained. "Comparison of self to others, natural curiosity, inhibitions about one's own body," she ticked off on her fingers.

"Wow, you've had a lot of therapy," I said in amazement.

"A troubled youth looking for attention, the disturbed daughter of divorce, a young teen experimenting with her sexuality. My mom wanted me to be anything but gay." She shrugged it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but I knew it hurt her a lot.

"Well even though this is all really confusing, I'm really glad I have you here to help me through it. I couldn't do it without you," I thanked her, giving her a grateful smile and putting a hand on her shoulder.

She sent me her gorgeous nose crinkling smile and put her hand on top of mine. My heart doubled in pace and my eyes found her chocolate ones. For the second time that day, I wondered what it would be like to kiss Ashley. I had to restrain myself from staring at her lips. Ashley suddenly removed her hand from mine, and the moment was gone. I physically felt the loss.

Two guys ran by us and Ashley turned to watch them. They stopped when they realized they had our attention.

"Ok, they're really cute," Ashley said excitedly as she walked over to introduce herself, her charm instantly making its debut.

I couldn't help but feel burned by her actions, not to mention confused. She was gay. She liked girls, which they were not. So why even waste her time? People weren't kidding, Ashley really did love the attention, I bitterly determined as I reluctantly followed her.

"We're from Hawaii," idiot number one said, as if he had let us in on a secret like he was actually a government spy. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh? I bet the view was amazing," Ashley gushed, her voice sweet and seductive at the same time.

I didn't know how she managed it.

"Yeah they were," he agreed, "but the view here is definitely better." He gave a pointed look at Ashley and me.

Wow, what a line, I thought sarcastically.

"So," one-or was it two- drawled out, bringing our attention to him, "we have a hot tub back at our place if you two ladies want to join us."

Oh, can we please?

Before I could make a smart comment, or at least an excuse for us, Ashley spoke up. "We'd love to," she decided.

Can I talk to you Ash?" I demanded more than asked, and without waiting for an answer, I grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

"What's up?" she asked innocently, which only angered me further.

I gestured to the two geniuses. "What are we doing with _them_?"

"Having fun, I thought." She sounded unsure.

"What about my problem?"

She looked up momentarily before meeting my eyes again. "You don't have a problem, ok Spence?"

"Whatever," I sighed and walked back towards the guy, making sure my stride was bigger than Ashley's so I could walk ahead of her.

I knew it was petty, but I wasn't in the mood to care.

Ashley pointedly ignored me and sat down next to brownie, I mean number one. Two apparently took this as his cue to sit by me. Whatever, I just didn't want to deal with Ashley.

"So Hawaii? You feeling home sick?" Ashley gave him a flirty look and leaned in closer. I felt my hands clench into fists.

"Yeah," he smiled confidently, his voice deeper, "care to take my mind off of it?" He leaned in to Ashley, and she leaned in further.

I couldn't do this, I thought.

Just before their lips touched, Ashley leaned forward, causing him to fall into the sand. I didn't even laugh, I was still too pissed.

"Ugh, boys are so predictable," she said with a disgusted look.

I just stared at her with an angry questioning look. God, what a tease. But I was glad she didn't kiss him.

Brownie sat up, looking like the dim light upstairs was now completely out. "I thought you were kind of into me.

I stood up abruptly. "She's not," I told him harshly.

"Yeah," Ashley also stood, "I like girls."

"That is so hot!" both boys said together, glancing hopefully between Ashley and me. I glared at them before storming off.

"Spence wait up," Ashley yelled after me.

"Wait, so are you guys still coming over?" Blondie shouted to us. Bless him.

Ashley looked at him with an incredulous expression before shaking her head and coming after to me.

"Spencer, get in the car," Ashley sighed out frustrated.

I crossed my arms defiantly and kept walking away. "No."

"Spence, please," she opted for my nickname.

I turned but didn't stop. "I just told you the most important, scary thing in my life, and you just blew it off. You don't even care." I shook my head and turned back around.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know how scary it can be. That's why I wanted today to be special, it's kind of like the last day of the old Spencer." I stopped walking and looked at her through the driver's window. "So come on, let's talk. No distractions," she promised, giving me an unsure smile.

I sighed, knowing she'd already convinced me, and hating my lack of backbone when it came to the beautiful brunette.

Her smile widened as I got in the passenger side. She turned around and parked back at the beach. I followed her to a spot underneath the pier and sat next to her.

"So give me the girls guide to dating girls." I leaned against the wood column.

"Well, dating a girl is just like dating a guy. Except if you're lucky enough, it will vastly enhance your wardrobe and you'll have the same shoe size," Ashley explained.

"I didn't think about that," I said in awe. I pictured myself in Ashley's clothes. That would definitely be a plus.

"There are a lot of perks for dating a girl. Mostly another girl gets you. Your ups, your downs, your vulnerability, and then can give it right back, no coaxing. No going out and buying a Cosmo magazine on how to get a guy to open up."

I smiled slightly but urged her to continue. "And the bad?"

"Dating a girl is just like dating a guy. They can lie, cheat, dump you for the pretty cheerleader. Ugh, and not to mention they want to talk endlessly about their feelings. That's the good thing about guys; they never say anything you actually have to listen to," Ashley finished as she grabbed her rubber band and put up her hair. "Did I mention the worst part?"

I groaned. "I thought you did?"

Ashley gave me a pitying look. "Your friends, family, people you don't even know, are going to hate you," she finished calmly, as if she were just telling me the about the weather.

"Forget it, it's hard enough fitting in and getting people to like me. I don't want to be gay," I told her seriously. I had changed my mind. I didn't want this.

Ashley laughed sympathetically. "You are who you are, Spence."

Our eyes met and I knew she read the scared, unsure look in mine. She put a comforting hand on my knee, and in this moment, her touch was enough to erase my doubts and silence my fears.

The ride back was filled in a comfortable silence. I was going over everything that had happened today. I found myself again being grateful for the brunette, and thinking about how good she looked in her bikini.

Our relationship had evolved. I couldn't exactly say into what, but the glances and smiles we traded with each other were enough to confirm that something was different.

We arrived back at my house and we both sat still, neither making a move. I knew I wasn't ready to leave, but a quick glance at Ashley's clock told me I couldn't stick around.

I looked at her again and our eyes met and we shared another shy smile that conveyed so much more than anything we could have said. I nodded to myself to remind me that I really did have to go.

After unbuckling my seat belt, I got out of the car and poked my head through the window. "Thanks for today," I said gratefully and was met with a breathtaking smile form Ashley in return.

"No problem," she happily assured me.

I felt her eyes on me as I walked back to my house, and I was pleased that she still hadn't driven off. Before I went inside, I stopped and turned and gave Ashley a full smile packed with adoration. She smiled back, and again our eyes communicated with each other. I walked back inside, feeling as if nothing could ruin this day.

…Except the inquisition I had to face as I walked in.

"Why didn't you ride with Glen?!" my mom demanded, crossing her arms- a sure sign of a lecture.

Lie or tell her?

"I was with Ashley." I opted for the truth.

"You know you are on a hiatus from her."

Hiatus? Seriously, who uses that in a normal conversation?

"She just gave me a ride home," I told her.

Ok, so I opted for half truth.

"Spencer, you know the conditions," she said in her "I'm not happy with you" voice.

"I know Mom, but I couldn't find Glen, and he wasn't answering his phone," I quickly lied, knowing that it was going to catch up to me eventually, and praying it wasn't now.

"Glen?" my mom turned to Glen, who was looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Madison wanted a ride so I took her home. We left as soon as the bell rang," he finished with a shrug, avoiding my mom's accusing eyes. Oh thank God! Who would have guessed?

My mom stared him down as if trying to gauge the truthfulness in his words. Realizing Glen wouldn't be caught dead covering me, she let it go. "Ok, well next time call me or your father."

"Ok, Mom," I sucked up, relieved the lie hadn't bitten me yet, and now wondering when it would.

-----

**A/N: **_So I was re-reading this chapter for editing purposes and I noticed I had Paula crossing her "eyes" as a sure sign of a lecture, and not her "arms." Haha it's probably only funny to me, but I still cracked up. Ah the brain is a marvelous thing._


	12. Anywhere But Here

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N:**_ Man I just want to post all my chapters all at once, but I need to exercise some restraint and build some suspense. I also need to just plain exercise, but I digress. Anyway, I won't update until tomorrow at the earliest so try not to cry too much lol.  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated ;)_

_-_

Chapter 12: Anywhere But Here

"_I'm falling through the door, flying across the floor_

_When you look at me, suddenly it's clear_

_You're burning up my dreams, crazy as it seems_

_I don't wanna be, anywhere but here_"

Hilary Duff

-

_Ashley and I were in the bathroom between classes, checking our make up. I had left my lip gloss at home and asked to borrow hers._

_"Here," she handed it to me and dug back into her purse for her compact. "Just a hint of pink," she explained as she saw me open it and smell it. "It's best to have clear gloss so it works with another girl's gloss."_

_I stopped and considered. "I never thought about that. Two girls, two different shades of lip stick. I have so much to learn." I smiled._

_"Good thing you have me," she smiled back. "Wow, that looks really good on you," she assured me in a husky tone. I felt myself blush at her staring and her words._

_"Ah, now you have me wearing your shade, how convenient. Just in case we wind up in some spontaneous lip lock," I joked and handed the gloss back, trying not to let it show on my face how good that idea sounded._

_Ashley looked at me intently and said in a raspy voice, "Trust me, it won't be spontaneous," she promised, giving me a suggestive look and then walking out the door as if she hadn't said anything of the sort._

_My heart sped up and I couldn't stop the excitement that flowed through me. She thought about kissing me too. I smiled goofily and followed her out, making sure the grin was wiped off my face before I walked out the door._

I don't know why I thought of that moment now. I was at Ashley's house with Aiden. Us three were going to Ego in celebration of me finally being ungrounded. I made sure to remind my parents- especially my mom- that Aiden was going with us.

It helped her overlook Ashley's presence. Of course, Ashley was taking forever, something Aiden and I made sure to comment on with every outfit she tried on.

"I've got to look hot," she explained, as if we were the ones being ridiculous.

"Part of the Ashley appeal," Aiden leaned over and told me sarcastically.

I laughed, especially when he got hit with a random pillow that came from the direction of Ashley's closet. "You look good in everything, Ash," I whined, tired of watching her basically show case her wardrobe, even though she did look hot.

I mean nice. Ashley huffed and rolled her eyes at me and went back to her closet.

"You look really beautiful, Spencer," Aiden said.

When did he get so close? Was I that focused on Ashley? Probably.

"Thanks," I blushed and smiled shyly. "You don't look so bad yourself." I gently nudged him with my elbow.

He gave me a strange look. "You're not drunk, are you?"

I laughed at his random question. "Nope, not this time," I smiled at his silliness.

"Good," he said, and before I knew it, his strong lips were on mine. Oh, that's why he asked.

He was a good kisser and smelled great. Ashley sure could pick them. Ashley, my mind slowly processed. How would she kiss, I couldn't help but wonder. Would it be soft and gentle, or rough and demanding like this one was turning out to be? His tongue thrust inside my mouth, and I assumed that was his way of asking for permission.

"Ahem," Ashley fake coughed, causing me to open my eyes and back away quickly. I briefly wondered at the guilty feeling that sat low in my stomach.

"Hey Ash." Aiden ran a finger through his messy hair. Damn, did I do that? I didn't remember.

Ashley smiled at him then walked over to me and grabbed my hand. "I'm going to borrow her for a moment, lover boy," she said as she dragged me to the closet.

"What was that, little Ms. I think I'm gay?" she asked amusedly once in the privacy of her massive closet.

"What?" I asked defensively, "he's hot."

"Do you like him?" She turned serious. I shrugged. "Well if you don't, I think I might want in on it."

I looked at her confused. "You mean like a competition?" I asked slowly, unsure where this was going.

"Yeah, just to mess with him," she nodded.

"Sure why not?" I agreed. What's the worst that could happen, I realize I don't like him? Oh no, I thought dryly. We walked back to her room, sharing a secret smile.

"So we ready?" oblivious Aiden asked. He stared at Ashley as she approached him.

"You know who I always thought was a good kisser?" she asked quietly, seductively, as she stepped closer to the boy. "Aiden," she finished softly, and then she brought her lips to his expertly.

"Ash," I said softly, not particularly liking this game anymore.

Just as he was about to really get into the kiss, she pulled away. She definitely knew what she was doing. She walked back to her closet to finish getting ready.

"What was that about?" Aiden asked, though I knew he didn't mind at all.

I wasn't about to be outdone though. "Don't worry about it," I answered, hopefully sounding sexy, and I put my hand around his neck and pulled his face to mine.

He put his hands on my waist and pulled me roughly against him. I broke apart from him as I heard Ashley come back in. I was glad for the interruption. Not that I hated kissing him, just…hell I didn't know what was wrong with me.

"Wow," Aiden said with heavy breathing. "Wow," he whispered again. "I have to process this. Where's the bathroom?"

Ashley looked like she was biting back a smile. "Down the hall to the right."

"Don't. Go. Anywhere," he stressed out as he left.

As soon as he left we burst out laughing.

"So what do you think?" Ashley turned to me.

"He's still hot and cute," I shrugged.

"And a guy," she finished and I nodded.

"It does seem pretty stupid for both of us to be doing this."

"Trust me, I don't want him. I've already played that hand. I just wanted to mess with him." She stared at me intently. "And you."

"Nice," I supplied lamely.

She smiled at my response and suddenly turned serious. "So," she started, sounding timid, "what about us?"

I shrugged and sat down on the bed, feeling a little unsure myself, but knowing I owed her the truth. Who knows, maybe it would clear things up. "Well, when I was kissing Aiden, I was thinking about you," I confessed quietly, looking into her deep chocolate eyes.

"Really?" she asked pleased. "Me too," she smiled prettily.

My breath caught as she moved her head closer to mine. I was caught in the middle. I really-really!- wanted this, at least that's what every fiber in my being was telling me. But another part was nervous.

What would this mean, what would it make us? Would she think I was a good kisser? Too aggressive? Too gentle? Too bad?

These thoughts that bounced around instantly disappeared as Ashley licked her lips and cupped my face in her hands.

"It's ok," she whispered softly as if she sensed my uncertainty. She continued to lean her beautiful face closer to mine, and I wondered if everything was in slow motion, because despite how close her lips were, it seemed to be taking forever for ours to meet.

I was super aware of everything Ashley. The heat of her body, the sweet vanilla scent of her, the intoxicating strawberry scent coming from her lips, and at that moment, I never craved anything more. I closed my eyes in anticipation, knowing that her soft lips would brush mine any second.

"Wow," I distantly heard, but the noise broke me out of my trance.

I looked up to see Aiden staring at me and Ashley, looking like Christmas had come early. I turned to Ashley and was shocked to see how close we had come to kissing. I couldn't decide whether to thank Aiden or hate him.

"As much as I'd love to be here when you two kiss, or at least I think I do, I can leave," he offered, sounding slightly apologetic. Ashley gave him a death glare, silently telling him that's exactly what he should do.

"No, it's ok Aiden, you don't have to go. I do," I decided quickly. I couldn't do this. "Not like this," I told Ashley as she looked at me with a hurt expression. I was wrong. I wasn't ready for this. Maybe I never would be.

I left without saying goodbye or even looking at either of them. I made it to the front door before I realized that Ashley had brought me over. There was no way I'd ask her to drop me off.

-**Will you pick me up**-

I texted Glen, hoping he'd finally act like a good brother. And also hoping he wasn't with Madison. Ew.

-**Where r u?**

**-Ashley's, please hurry-**

Glen was there in five minutes, probably the fastest time it had taken him to get anywhere. He didn't say anything, but his blue eyes held brotherly concern, and I was very glad that he was my brother.

We rode back in silence, Glen giving me concerned looks every second but thankfully not saying anything.

"Everything ok?" Glen finally asked as we walked inside. "Your text seemed kind of urgent."

"I really don't want to talk about it. Thanks for getting me." I went upstairs and got ready for bed, not surprised that I didn't have a text from Ashley.

I went to bed angry. At Aiden for interrupting, at myself for letting this happen, and mostly at Ashley for making me feel this way. Maybe it wasn't fair, but in my mind, none of this would have happened if not for her.

I fell asleep fairly quickly, my anger tiring me out. I didn't wake up when Glen came in to check on me before he went to sleep. Not even as he tripped over my backpack and cursed as he tiptoed to my door.


	13. Tattoo

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So this was one of my favorite chapters to write. I introduce another character from the show, and I must say I had a blast writing them in.  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated ;)_

_-_

Chapter 13: Tattoo

"_You're still a part of everything I do_

_You're on my heart just like a tattoo._

_I'll always have you_"

Jordin Sparks

-

The next day at school sucked. Things with Ashley were tense, and we barely spoke-though not for lack of effort on her part. She tried texting me, but I told her we had to pay attention. She knew I was dismissing her and she didn't make any more attempts after my short answer.

At lunch Glen came up to me, claiming he "really needed to talk."

"What's up?" I asked, sounding completely uninterested- which I was.

"Madison told me that she heard you and Ashley talking about kissing each other while you were in the bathroom."

My first response was anger. How dare she tell him _that_. What a bitch! It was quickly replaced by my second response, the '_oh shit'_ feeling.

"And instead of telling her to mind her own business, you trusted a rumor?" I called him out.

"It's only relevant if it's true," he brushed aside my comment. I froze, uncertain of what to say. "Is it?" Glen prodded, noticing my hesitancy.

"What she heard," I explained slowly, "could have been taken that way."

Glen sighed in frustration. "Is it true, Spencer?" he demanded. "Are you gay?" he whispered, checking to see if anyone had overheard.

"You're an ass." I gave him a hard glare. "I can't believe you would trust her over your own sister." I clung to outrage, hoping to sway him.

"I've seen the way you look at her. You have a thing for Ashley," he pointed his finger at me accusingly. "Spencer, you can't be gay," he told me adamantly. "It would kill Mom and Dad."

"I do not have a thing for Ashley," I vehemently denied, knowing I was fighting a losing battle. "Just mind your own business. I don't want your help or advice or whatever else you are giving." I angrily brushed past him and walked over to where Chelsea and Clay were sitting.

"Did you and Ashley fight?" Clay asked, obviously noting the anger in my eyes.

I threw my hands down angrily. "Why does everyone assume my life revolves around Ashley?!" I was being unfair, but I didn't particularly care. Spencer Carlin was allowed bitchy days too!

They appeared taken aback. "We were just wondering. Ashley's been looking pretty upset," Chelsea explained gently, and I immediately felt guilty. They weren't the ones who were making me question everything in my life.

I casted my eyes down. "Sorry," I apologized softly, "I'm just stressed. It was a fight with Glen," I explained.

"It's ok, Glen can be an ass," Clay reminded me loyally.

I smiled and hugged him. "That's why God gave me you," I told him sweetly.

"Well, I don't know what's up with Ashley, but maybe you should talk to her?" Chelsea suggested as she leaned into Clay, who in turn put his arm around her.

I knew they were right, I just didn't know how to swallow my pride sometimes- I blamed my mom. And these days, when it came to Ashley, coherent words were hard to come by.

---

Ashley and I had a mutual, unspoken agreement not to mention the almost kiss. Not that that helped me forget about it. It invaded my dreams, my every thought. And even if I could possibly start to forget, I wasn't allowed to.

Every time we saw Aiden, he insisted on apologizing for interrupting. And when he didn't say anything, he carried this look that basically said the same thing. Had I not been so attached to my cookie, I would have thrown it at him

Today, the trio-Ashley, Aiden, and I- were at a school fundraiser. Normally Ashley wouldn't support the "cougars"- I gave up trying to correct her, knowing she did it just to bug me, and that even if she didn't do it on purpose, it was futile- but here we were, supporting Aiden being the only reason we came, as Ashley often reminded us…like every five minutes. Aiden claimed it was because we wanted to see him without his shirt off. As if that would be a rare occasion; he took his shirt off whenever possible.

Aiden left to join his buddies, rolling his eyes to Ashley's comment about slapping asses, which I laughed at. I was glad to be alone with Ashley finally, but also nervous. Even though our pact hadn't been broken, there was now this tension that was ever present.

If the urge to kiss her hadn't been there before, it was here now, full force, especially after remembering how close our lips had come to touching. My dreams were always so cruel and unsatisfying.

It was always different situations; us in English class, at Ego, or, my favorite, the bathroom. We're always alone, and we're always just staring into each other's eyes, when finally it becomes too much and Ashley cups my face and leans in.

My breath always catches as she leans in closer, licking her soft lips, and just as our lips are finally about to touch, I wake up- whether from my alarm, or my parents, or some damn microscopic bug sneezing. Point is, we are always so close!

It leaves an ache in me, which only intensifies as Ashley and I visit the spots in my dreams. I swear she must have known about the bathroom thing because she always has to go there. Either that, or she has a very weak bladder.

Ok, enough about Ashley's organs, I mentally shook my head. As I became aware of my surroundings, a frown instantly formed on my face. Ashley was talking to an unknown blonde girl. Geeze, I go to my thoughts for a few minutes and Ashley was already approached.

I gave her the once over and my frown deepened. I had seen her for maybe a minute and already didn't like her. I mean who just goes up to a stranger at a car wash!?

Alright, other then to get their car washed. But seriously, Ashley wasn't even wearing a bathing suit, so it's not like some one would think she was working. It was creepy if you asked me, and I would tell you that even if you didn't ask.

"Wow, what a sweet car," Blondie gushed-dramatically in my opinion- as I walked over.

"Yeah? You like?" She gave the girl a pretty smile. Ashley loved the attention.

She nodded. "Very much so. I bet she gets great mileage."

I was sure she was leaning imperceptibly closer to Ashley now.

"Nope, sucks," Ashley smiled, petting the Eclipse fondly. "She's fast though."

Blondie sighed enviously. "I bet."

I knew what she was doing, and I knew Ashley did too. As I said, Ashley loves attention.

"You want to go for a ride?" Ashley offered, giving the girl a sexy, challenging look that only Ashley could pull off.

"You bet!" Blondie practically ran over to the car, and I swear I saw drool.

"Hey Spence, we're going for a ride. Wanna come?" Ashley asked, finally acknowledging my existence.

Being with Blondie was at the bottom of my to-do list, but I was not about to let her be alone with Ashley. Because I didn't trust her, I justified, or at least tried to.

"Yeah sure."

I was angry and surprised when Blondie yelled "Shotgun!" and took the front. Brief thoughts of what I'd like to do with a shotgun flashed through my mind as I glared at the back of her head and got in back.

"You don't mind Spence?" Ashley asked, and even though I was mad at being ignored, I did appreciate her thinking of me. And you already know how much I loved the nickname.

"Yeah, you don't want front?" Blondie asked, but I was sure she was asking purely out of obligation, not out of genuine concern.

"Oh no," I rolled my eyes, "I'd much prefer to stare at the back of the seat then see the open road," I mumbled sarcastically. Or at least I assumed I mumbled, because neither girl in front acknowledged it. I began to tally up my times being ignored. Currently two.

Blondie turned to face me. "Where you from? Do you go to King High, too? What's your name?" she asked in rapid succession. "I'm Josie."

More like Nosey. I snorted at my inner joke.

"Spencer, and yeah, Ash and I both go," I answered, trying to put emphasis on the Ashley and me part. I didn't offer her a "nice to meet you" because I didn't feel like lying.

"So, anything exciting happening, Ash?" Nosey asked. What, it was better than blondie. And how dare she use that nickname! I knew that she wouldn't, but part of me wished Ashley would have set Josie straight.

Ashley gave Josie an amused look. "Hello, this _is_ LA," Ashley reminded her.

Josie laughed. "I am a firstie, remember?" I wondered if Ashley could see me fake gag from her rear view mirror.

"Good thing you have me." Ashley favored her with a proud smile, as if Josie, her daughter, had just told her she went to the bathroom on her own.

I was beyond irritated. That's what Ashley said to me when we were in the bathroom! I was surprised Josie couldn't feel my glare burning through the back of her seat. If she did, it didn't phase her one bit. Tally three.

"Spence?" Ashley asked, snapping me out of my wish for laser eyes.

"Yeah?" I answered a little sharply, wondering if she was finally giving me the time of day.

Our eyes met in the rear view mirror. "Everything ok?"

"Peachy," I forced out with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"Well, then do you mind not strangling the seatbelt?" she joked, and smiled wider as stupid Josie laughed.

I shockingly let go of the seatbelt, unaware of the death grip I had on it. "Sorry," I mumbled embarrassedly.

"Remind me not to piss you off," Josie laughed, giving me a smile.

Too late.

"Nah, Spence isn't like that. She's too sweet," Ashley told Josie, flashing me a quick smile. Ha! Take that Josie! I felt contentment wash through me. Well I did until I noticed we had just pulled up to Ashley's house and Josie was still in the car.

"You live here!?" Josie said in awe of the mansion in front of her.

No, she just loves driving to random houses and parking, I retorted to myself sarcastically, throwing in a mental eye roll for added effect.

"Oh no, I'm just picking up their mail," Ashley explained with a serious look as she drove to the mail box. The joke went way over genius Josie's head, who looked disappointed.

"Come on, Ash," I laughed as I got out of the car.

Josie hesitated before getting out as well. "Won't they mind?" she asked with apprehension, looking cautiously between Ashley and me.

Ashley smiled. "This really is my house," she took pity on Josie.

I just wanted to use pepper spray on Josie. A little harsh, I know, but something about Josie drove me insane. Maybe it was her, '_I'm so innocent_' or the '_You're so cool_' act she practically threw at Ashley. Either way I hated it.

"You don't mind?" Ashley asked me quietly as her and I walked to the front door. Josie was getting something form her bag. I really didn't care what, I was just glad for some time away from her.

"Why would I?" I tried to casually say.

Ashley gave me a pointed look. "Well I don't know, maybe because of the glares you sent towards her? Even Mrs. Darby doesn't get that intensity." She was on to something and she knew it.

I shrugged. "I don't know what you mean."

Ashley rolled her eyes and sighed. "What's been up with you, Spence? Lately you've seemed…" she searched for the right word. "I don't know, distant?" Her eyes searched mine, trying to see inside my soul.

I never wished for Josie to be here more than I did now. What the hell was she doing?!

Ashley stepped closer to me, and I knew I would tell her whether I liked it or not. "Tell me," she softly urged, sensing my hesitancy. "Spence," she said after my lack of response, "tell me. What's going on? Ever since-" she dropped her voice and I knew she was referring to our almost kiss. "- you've been distant." She sounded slightly worried now. She gave a quick glance in Josie's direction and my irritation returned.

"Madison told Glen she heard us talking in the bathroom." Ashley's eyes widened slightly. "Then he confronted me about...about being gay," I finished harshly, giving her a hard look.

As much as I liked Ashley, thoughts of how she ignored me for Josie were at the forefront of my mind. Tally four.

"That's just Madison saying stuff," Ashley tried to assure me, but I wasn't in the mood to be placated.

"It doesn't matter. The thoughts are in Glen's mind, and nothing will stop him from telling my mom. God, I don't want to be gay," I sighed bitterly and ran my fingers through my hair.

Ashley grabbed my hand to comfort me. "Hey, don't say that. She's just trying to break us up," she affirmed me gently.

I shook my head and pulled my hand from her grasp. "We are not together, Ash!" I whispered firmly, not caring that I was being an ass. I was high on anger at the moment; regret was on a temporary vacation.

The hurt in her eyes didn't bother me. It wasn't even the steps she took away from me. It was the pain and hurt and defeat in her voice as she spoke that cut through me. "The worst part isn't that it isn't true. It's that you don't want anyone to believe it is," she hissed under her breath. She gave me a disgusted look and walked inside.

"She ok?" Josie appeared out of nowhere. I had blissfully forgotten about her for a moment. Josie's ignored tally: 1.

"Yeah," I answered vaguely, "she just-" I cut myself off as realized who I was talking to.

Damn Josie!

My lovely thoughts were interrupted by a text. Thinking it might be from Ashley, I quickly opened my phone, only to be disappointed as I saw it was from Glen, telling me I needed to get home. I texted him back, hoping he'd give me a ride. Man I hated not having a car.

**-Npe, w/ Mad-**

Ew, forget that mental image. I tried Clay.

**-No, sorry, I'm with Chelsea.-**

Even though I was disappointed, I couldn't help from being amused at how different Glen and Clay really were, even just from the way they texted. It quickly evaporated as I realized my only option, well besides calling my mom. Yeah right.

Yeah, this wouldn't be awkward, I thought to myself as I walked inside. I swallowed down my nervousness as I got closer to where Ashley was sitting.

"I uh…I need a ride back," I said nervously, taking extreme interest in my shoes.

Ashley gave me a hard look and just nodded and walked over to her car, telling Josie she'd be right back.

"Look, I'm-" I began, feeling extremely uncomfortable in the silence in the car.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ashley cut me off quickly, keeping her eyes purposely glued to the road.

"It's just-" I stopped again as Ashley looked at me, this time with an intense glare. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but-" I cut myself off again, this time because I wasn't sure where I was going.

I sighed, feeling frustrated with myself for my out of reach words. "This is all new for me, Ash. And terrifying." I chanced a look at her and saw her features slightly soften. "I've only just come to terms with this, and I'm not ready for my mom to know yet, and certainly not from Glen."

"So it has nothing to do with Josie?" she asked softly after a moment.

I shook my head. "I don't like her."

Ashley gave a snort. "That much is obvious. Why?" She fixed me with a questioning look.

"I don't trust her." She gave another amused laugh. "What?" I asked defensively.

Ashley just shook her head with a small smile. I knew that look. "I'm not jealous," I told her firmly.

"Uh huh," she mocked, still with that damn smile.

"I'm not," I reiterated, unbuckling my seatbelt as she pulled into my driveway.

"Yeah, because you always glare at people and have death grips on my seatbelt."

I swear I was going to wipe that effing smile off her pretty face.

I scoffed and got out of the car, shaking my head at her assumptions. "Sorry for being concerned," I shouted from my door.

Ashley sent me an eye roll and then drove off. To her house. To Josie. I was so jealous.


	14. A Moment Like This

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Woo, more reviews 3 I seriously love you guys! Anyway, I just am going to say that this is the last part of the original SON story. After this chapter it's my own stuff *cue in dramatic music*. But I have a feeling that you guys will like this chapter ;)  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated :3  
_

_-_

Chapter 14: A Moment Like this

"_A moment like this_

_Some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this._

_Some people search forever, for that one special kiss._

_Oh I can't believe it's happening to me._

_Some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this_"

Kelly Clarkson

-

Ashley didn't show up to English today either, and I knew it was because of Josie. That definitely didn't make my morning any better, thinking of them back at Ashley's. I knew Ashley's reputation, yet that gave me no comfort either as I thought about it.

She didn't call me last night, or text. I completely overlooked the fact that I didn't call or text either. It's not like I had to check up on them, because I wasn't jealous!

Did I mention I was back to my denial stage? Well I was.

I failed my English quiz. How was I supposed to know the author's purpose for writing a story I forgot to read about last night? I was smart enough to deduce that Mickey Mouse wasn't the author's name, but the other three choices were harder to determine. I ended up choosing C, hoping that maybe Mrs. Darby got lazy…or stupid.

At least I beat Ashley, although all that did was remind me who Ashley was with. Stupid Josie. And who names their kid that?

Ok ok, I know that Spencer wasn't exactly number one on the list of baby girl names, but still. That's something you name your poodle, or something stupid.

And stupid Ashley for thinking I'm jealous. What was there to be jealous of? I'm sure Ashley could see right through Josie. I sure could. Her genuineness was about as real as her science-experiment-gone-wrong hair.

Ok, so maybe I was being a _little_ petty, but in my defense, I was around Madison a lot during cheerleading.

I went to lunch and sat at my usual table, not even in the mood to eat the questionable looking cornflake casserole they were serving. I'd have to be pretty desperate to eat it anyway, though.

"Hey you," I heard suddenly as I opened my eyes, unaware that they were shut. Probably to prevent the casserole fumes from burning my retinas.

Ashley. She greeted me with an easy smile as if the past days didn't happen. As if we hadn't not talked those days. As if Josie sunshine didn't ruin life as I knew it.

"Hey," I offered back, doing my best to be stand-offish.

"So you wanna come out tonight to Gray?" She shifted slightly, and even though she sounded calm, I knew her well enough to tell she was a little timid.

I cocked an eye at her. "Why, is Josie busy?" I couldn't resist.

Ok, maybe I could have, but it would have required way more effort than I wanted to exert.

"I don't know, why?" she threw back at me.

I shrugged, feigning indifference. "I figured that's why you asked me."

She sighed. "I can hang with who I want, you know. It's not like you're my girlfriend." She gave me a sharp look, letting me know she wasn't over my comment from the other day.

I didn't appreciate the attack, and I let her know by shaking my head. "Whatever, do what you want." I gave my attention to my milk carton. "It's none of my business."

"You're right. What you do is none of my business and what I do is none of your business." She turned quickly and left, not even glancing back my way- not that I expected her to.

I hated that I couldn't feel angry, couldn't feel anything but hurt. Hated that I let Ashley affect me so much. Hated that I cared so much.

For the first time in a while, I wished I was back on the squad. At least that would distract me for a few hours. But no, I gave it up-for Ashley. God, how pathetic was I? How far had I let myself fall?

I couldn't even see where I had started, but I couldn't see the end either. I was miserably in the middle, unable to run in any direction, yet still managing to keep falling. And what sucked was that even though I was falling, I loved it!

I loved the sensations I got in my stomach, the frantic beating of my heart whenever Ashley was around, because I knew it was real. And it scared me. I knew how Ashley was. Her friendship count was a good indication of how she was with relationships. And I didn't even know how she felt about me.

I never saw it coming, these feelings that bound me to her- perhaps indefinitely. But I was hooked now. I was wrong when I said I was in the middle. I was so far gone on Ashley's side that at times it was hard to remember a time when I wasn't in this place, feeling these things.

And now she was with Josie, and I was left to wonder what they were doing. Wonder if Josie made Ashley give her nose crinkling smile, her beautiful eyes filled with mirth. Wonder if Ashley hugged Josie, her vanilla scent encompassing the blonde. Wonder if Ashley made Josie miss her, simply when Ashley left for school. Hell, just left to wonder if Ashley made Josie experience half of the things I did when I was around the gorgeous brunette.

I prayed not. For as much as it killed me to experience it all, I wouldn't trade or share it with anyone for anything. Because right now, it was all I had, and I was going to hold on to it tightly before Josie took that away too.

---

"Let's go out, a mother-daughter thing." My mom's suggestion interrupted my thoughts. It wasn't really a suggestion. She actually meant that we _were_ gong out for a mother-daughter thing.

I nodded. It was simpler that way. Plus I really wanted-needed- a distraction. "Ok, grab a jacket and let's go."

She was at the door, keys in hand as I returned. "Ready?" she smiled. Again I mutely nodded.

"So how was school?" she asked, obviously not giving up her attempt to keep the silences few and far in between.

"Ok, I guess. Nothing exciting." I tried not to be monotonous. I knew she was trying.

"And cheerleading?" she prodded.

I gave her a look. "I quit months ago. I told you that."

She gasped in surprise. "No you didn't," she assured me as if I was the one who forgot. "Why'd you quit?"

I really didn't know how she didn't pick up on my obvious unwillingness to talk about this.

I sighed. 'I just didn't want to do it anymore." Yeah, really didn't want to get into it.

"But honey, you love it!" she told me firmly. My mom could be real one track minded. "You and Karen always talked about it at home."

"Loved it," I corrected, "and things are different here."

She gave me a calculating look. "Is this because of-"

"Don't put this on Ashley," I warned her.

"Did she make you feel dumb about doing it?"

"Mom," I said.

"-because Spencer, you shouldn't let what she says affect you so much," she continued.

"Mom," I said louder.

"Just because she doesn't like it, she can't even support you."

"Mom!" I yelled firmly, finally managing to cut her off. "It didn't have anything to do with her. It didn't!" I said indignantly as she snorted in disbelief. "God, Mom, you can be so…single minded at times. Anytime I talk about a problem in my life, you always jump to Ashley."

She put a hand to her chest. "That is not true," she defended.

I went on like she hadn't spoken. "I get drunk, you immediately blame Ashley. I make a B on a test, it must be because Ashley didn't let me study."

"I'm just worried about you." This time her tone was different. Not nagging, just pure concern. "You've changed so much, Spence."

"That's part of growing up, Mom. I was going to do that regardless of Ashley." I put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I just wish you'd give her a chance, for me," I slightly pleaded.

She sighed softly. "Ok, I'll try," she promised, surprisingly sounding sincere. "So what's going on with Ashley?"

I was caught off guard by her question. "She's…she's just got a lot going on, and I'm worried about her." I stared at my lap, not wanting my mom to see anything in my eyes, afraid that they would betray me.

"I'll pray for her," my mom finally managed out. It looked like it took some effort, but I was pleased.

I favored her with a big, grateful smile and hugged her. She sighed happily. "I missed this."

I gave her a confused look. "It never left."

"Maybe not, but it sure feels like it sometimes." She sighed wistfully. I attributed it to hormones.

We arrived at home around nine, and I was completely surprised to see Ashley sitting on the bench on our porch. Her face was lit up by the front light, and even though she looked troubled, I still thought she looked breathtaking. I was mad that I even thought that after all that had happened.

"Is Arthur not home?" my mom asked Ashley, clearly surprising us all by speaking first.

"No, he is. He invited me in, but I didn't want to intrude." Ashley avoided my mom's gaze, instead staring at her flip flops that were nervously pushing imaginary dust around.

Recognizing Ashley's wish to talk to me, my mom surprised us again by giving us privacy. "It's good to see you Ashley," she said as she walked inside, even managing a small smile.

"Thanks. You too, Mrs. C." Ashley's shock was evident. She didn't even try to hide it.

My mom closed the door and my eyes met Ashley's. I saw the vulnerability again, and despite all that had occurred, my heart fluttered warmly and I found myself sitting beside her.

After a few minutes of silence, I realized that Ashley was not going to start. "How's Josie?" I asked, proud that it was almost bitterness free.

"Who knows," she shrugged.

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"I came back from school and she was gone. Along with $500, half my closet, and my iPod. Oh, and I got caught for skipping."

I didn't even know what to say. "Damn," I uttered, causing her to laugh slightly.

She sighed and leaned so her elbows were resting on her knees. She turned and looked at me for a moment. "What?" I breathed quietly, feeling exposed under her scrutinizing look.

"I'm sorry. For blowing you off to be with Josie, who wasn't even that great." Her gaze turned soft, but I still felt its intensity. "For not listening to you," she added softly.

"I-" I began softly, but stopped as my mom came outside with a plate of brownies and two glasses of milk.

Ashley stood up suddenly, and I gave her a weird look before grabbing her arm and pulling her to sit back down. "Thanks Mom," I smiled appreciatively. She nodded and smiled and went back inside.

Ashley's face converted to sport a confused look again mid brownie bite. "She's trying. I talked to her and she's trying," I explained as I also took a bite.

She gave me such an honest, sweet look, that I stopped breathing for a moment, fearing that taking in oxygen would make the look go away. Her free hand somehow found my leg, and I knew for sure that breathing was out of the question. My eyes quickly darted to hers and my heart stopped. She put her brownie down and grabbed her milk to give herself something to do.

My body recognized its need for air, and my normal functions returned, though not completely functional as I realized her warm hand still rested on my leg.

"I used to think no one cared what happened to me," she said quietly, the timidness in her voice," but then I met you." Her brown eyes met mine, and I relished in the sincerity I found expressed there. She gave me a sweet smile and I couldn't help but return it.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised just as softly, keeping our gaze locked.

Her smile widened and I couldn't resist pulling her in for a hug. She was already close to me, so close I could feel the heat of her body and smell her. I was already affected by her, I might as well be completely engulfed by her.

And this moment, it wasn't about kissing her, or her being the one to make me feel this way. It was about me being the one who made her feel this way. Safe. Warm. Loved. Because she was loved, so much.

I finally hit bottom of the hole I was falling down. But it was hard to think of it as being at the bottom when I felt as if I was on top of the world. Because right now, Ashley was my world, and in this moment- in her soft but secure arms, breathing her in- I allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, I was her world as well.

---

Ashley spent the night that night, much to her and my surprise. When my mom offered, Ashley's eyes found mine, as if to see if I was wearing the same shocked expression she was. I was.

She said something about needing clothes to sleep in, but I assured her she could borrow something of mine. Ashley flashed me a brilliant grin, and I felt a little guilty about my slightly selfish thoughts. But how could I pass up a chance to see Ashley in my clothes? Plus, I was being nice by offering, at least so my mom thought, unaware of my ulterior motives.

If we were shocked about my mom's new found hospitality towards Ashley, our jaws probably crashed through the floor when my mom made no attempt to have Ashley sleep on the couch. We didn't have to be told twice; I wasn't about to test God by questioning my mom's apparent alien abduction or whatever it was that had caused the 180.

I was ready for bed first, teeth freshly brushed-about eight times to ensure my breath would be minty fresh for a good while- and lying in bed. I was tired, but I knew sleep wasn't at the forefront of my mind, especially not when Ashley came out of the bathroom.

My heart beat faster as I saw her in my clothes. Even though she had on boy shorts and a tank top like me, my breath still caught at her beauty.

How could anyone not feel overwhelmed by her mere presence?

I tried not to stare as she made her way over to the bed. Tried not to notice how well my clothes fit her. Or at least I meant to try, but these days, hiding my feelings was getting very difficult, and I was damn tired of "trying."

The bed shifted with her weight, and her scent and warmth washed over me. "So you're mom's finally getting some?" Ashley asked into the night, rolling onto her side so she could face me.

"Ew," I protested, "now how am I supposed to sleep?" I groaned in disgust.

"Just think of my pretty face." Her white teeth flashed a smile.

I fake scoffed. "Pretty face? Maybe in the dark," I countered, and even though she probably couldn't see it, I stuck my tongue out.

"Oh no Spence, you must have gone blind and forgotten how hot I am," Ashley exclaimed in false mortification. She started frantically waving her hands in my face.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "If only I was deaf as well," I sighed wistfully.

"But then you wouldn't be able to hear my musical voice." She sounded concerned.

"Exactly," I managed out before getting hit with a pillow. "Who did that?" I joked as I maneuvered my hands around, "feeling" around for my attacker.

"Careful with those wondering hands," she teased, but she did raise a good point. I made sure to keep my hands close to me.

"That you, Ashley?" I felt the bed shift and opened my eyes to see Ashley leaning slightly over me. I froze, unsure of why she was this close, but finding myself not particularly caring in the slightest, especially when she leaned her face close to mine.

"Remember this face now?" she said huskily, referring to our game, but all trace of playfulness was gone. Instead it had been long replaced by something much more exciting. Desire.

I opened my mouth, presumably to speak, but found myself completely incoherent. Not that I was surprised; it happened a lot around Ashley.

The only thought flickering through my brain was the mantra telling me to lean up and kiss her.

"Yeah," I said quietly, suddenly remembering that she had asked me something. It sounded so far away, I almost wasn't sure it came from me.

Ashley's gentle hands cupped my face, one hand making its way up my cheek, tucking hair behind my ear. "You're so beautiful Spence," she whispered with so much sincerity in her deep, sparkling eyes and her soft, raspy voice.

I blushed shyly but didn't look away. I never wanted to look away and leave her eyes or this moment. "You are too," I whispered back. "Beautiful. Gorgeous. Hot." I smiled lightly, and her brown eyes lit up with amusement.

Her fingers slipped into my hair, lightly massaging my scalp, and against my will, my eyes fluttered close at the sensation. I sighed my contentment, starting to feel drowsiness take over my body as her magical hands continued.

"That feels good," I told her lazily, now content with having my eyes closed so I could fully enjoy her touch.

"God Spence," she breathed out hoarsely, making my eyes open and settle back on her face.

The look she had made my heart race and my body get even warmer. Her hands stopped their movement, and before I could protest, they moved back to caress my face with feather light touches.

"Ash, I-" I began, unsure of what I was trying to say, but knowing that I needed to say her name, her nickname.

She gently cupped my face and shook her head with a smile. Again my breath caught and my mantra returned, this time as a high volume scream.

Ashley leaned in fractionally closer and licked her lips, the movement directing my eyes to her lovely mouth. Closer and closer she got, time seeming in slow motion as my anticipation grew with each passing second.

I subconsciously licked my lips as well, and I saw Ashley's mouth quirk into a quick smile. Then I closed my eyes and saw nothing. But oh did I feel! Felt her breath hit my lips. Felt Ashley slowly move my face up to hers until finally my world exploded as our lips touched.

Surely I exploded, because all I saw were fireworks. And I didn't care how clichéd and cheesy it sounded, because it was a perfect description. And with Ashley, you didn't want anything other than perfect. You couldn't have anything other than perfect.

My whole body thrummed with pleasure and warmth until there wasn't a single part of me that wasn't on fire. Ashley pulled back and I immediately tensed. What did I do?

"I uh, I…" I fumbled my words, feeling the need to say something-anything.

"Spence," she said tenderly, her soft hands still cradling my face.

"Yeah?" I asked breathlessly, still waiting on her to give my stolen breath back.

"Sometimes you talk too much." She smiled sweetly, and then her wonderful, talented mouth was back on mine.

Her lips pressed harder against mine than before, as if the first kiss was just a sample, simply a preview before the actual show.

And the show was a hell of a lot better than the previews. The first kiss was slow, almost tentative. I know Ashley was giving me time to adjust. This one though…this one was to taste and learn and savor.

I felt her lips part and I followed suit, leaning back slightly to sit up and get a better position. I almost moaned when her tongue reached my mouth. I surely had died and gone to heaven. Or maybe hell, because our tongues touching was sinfully good. It had to be so wrong. It couldn't be this good and be right.

I did moan softly as Ashley also shifted so that she was straddling me, her comforting, soft weight leaning into my own body. My hands instinctively moved to her hips, as if locking her in place in case she got the crazy idea to leave.

Time and time again our lips met and our tongues danced, and I wondered how I had survived without her lips sustaining me. Without hearing her soft moans and feeling her skilled mouth slant over mine again and again. Without her teeth gently biting my bottom lip, earning impulsive groans from somewhere deep within me.

I finally needed air, realizing that as much as I wished that they could, her lips couldn't provide the oxygen I needed to breathe- just everything else I needed to live. I pulled away breathlessly, pleased to see that Ashley was breathing heavily too as she rested her forehead against mine.

"God Spence," she panted out again, and it lit me on fire again and made a pleased smile form on my swollen lips, knowing I was the cause.

I nodded into her, still unable to properly breathe. "That was…yeah," I finished unimpressively, feeling stupid at my inability to speak at all, let alone even attempt English.

Ashley smiled and leaned back so she could look at me, her hands combing through my disheveled hair. I hoped I wore the goofy smile well.

More than likely not.

I realized my hands still had a strong grip on her hips, and I shyly let go, forgetting how bold I had been brief moments ago. She rolled off of me and back to her original spot, neither of us needed to say anything just yet.

I smiled giddily as her hand reached over to trace patterns on my arm, every place she touched tingling and coming alive.

"Bet my mom didn't have this in mind when she let you stay over," I spoke to my ceiling.

I felt Ashley laugh beside me. "That makes two of us." I turned to look at her. "Not that I didn't want to," she assured my quickly, her hand still maintaining its drawings on my arm.

"So this wasn't just spontaneous?" I asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious for some reason.

"God no, Spence. I've-" she paused as if internally debating. "Let's just say I've wanted to for a while."

This piqued my interest. "Really? How long?" I rolled over closer to her. "The beach?"

"Uh yeah, the beach," she said unconvincingly.

I nudged her arm gently to prod her. "Before that?" I asked with a hint of surprise.

Ashley laughed quietly. "I wasn't the one who didn't know they were gay, Spencer." She turned to face me again.

"You're gay?" I feigned surprise, placing a hand over my mouth.

"And proud," she smiled brightly.

I gave her a fake look of disgust and rolled to the opposite side of the bed.

"Wanna know a secret?" I whispered to her from over my shoulder, doing my best to sound like a little kid.

"Uh huh," she answered back just as childishly.

"You gotta come here." I patted the spot beside me and smiled as she slid next to me.

"What's the secret," she whispered excitedly, poking my side to get my attention.

"No secret, I just wanted you over here," I confessed shyly.

She gave me a beautiful smile and kissed my cheek, making my face split into a huge grin. "Do you wanna know a secret?" she turned my question back to me.

I nodded as I played with her soft curls. "You," she lightly poked my nose, "are one hell of a kisser," she rasped.

"Am I?" I acted surprised. "I must have a great teacher," I answered with a smile.

With surprising boldness, I pressed my mouth to hers lightly.

"Hmm," Ashley considered, "not your best."

I sent her a fake glare before I captured her lips again, this time lingering slightly longer. "Eh, a little better," she shrugged

I smiled and leaned forward again, taking her face in my hands and doing my best to ignore her teeth nibbling my lips, begging me to open to her.

"You tease," she laughed huskily. "Who knew that Spencer Carlin was-"

I cut her off as I kissed her again. This time I was the one to lightly nibble on her bottom, sending my tongue to find hers. I moaned softly as our tongues met and I lightly rubbed the bare skin where her tank top had ridden up above her hips.

Her skin was warm and soft, and her mouth…there were no words good enough to describe her wickedly talented mouth. I pulled away and smiled as she groaned at the loss. I felt the same.

"Sometimes you talk too much," I repeated back to her, smiling at the low laugh she gave.

She looked at the clock and sighed. "_12:58_, but I don't want to go to bed and leave this moment," she shyly admitted.

"Me either," I agreed softly, "but we have to go to sleep. Tomorrow has to come eventually." I threaded my fingers through her hair.

"That's cheating," she sighed contently and shifted until she was molded to my side.

I laughed quietly and used a free hand to lightly trace her arm. "Night, Ash."

"Mm, night Spence." She kissed my hand lightly and closed her eyes, sleep already claiming her.

I was tired, but sleep was not my concern right now. Right now, the only thing that was taking over me was the beautiful brunette beside me and her deep, even breathing. I knew her warmth would eventually pull me to sleep, but until then, I was content to stay with reality a little longer.


	15. I'd Rather Be in Love

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Wow guys, thanks so much for all the reviews and for adding this to your favorite stories list!! You are all my heart :D So here is the next chapter!  
_

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated :3  
_

_-_

Chapter 15: I'd Rather Be In Love

"_'Cause when there's you, I feel whole_

_And there's no better feeling in the world_

_And without you, I'm alone_

_And I'd rather be in love_"

Michelle Branch

-

I woke up the next day with a huge grin on my face. I turned to look at Ashley, but she wasn't there. Not even one sign to hint that the brown haired beauty had ever been here. Oh God, I groaned in realization. It was a dream! Granted one hell of a dream, one I'd never forget, but dammit all the same!

I fell back into my pillow and sighed, unaware that I had even sat up in the first place. I never had any imagination when I needed it to write a story, or draw a picture, but my effing mind sure worked great at night when all I wanted was to sleep. A sigh escaped me and I angrily punched my pillow.

"Did it insult you?" Ashley's husky voice asked, humor laced in her question.

I sat up quickly, trying to cover my blush. I wasn't sure if it was because she caught me assaulting my pillow or the realization that last night really did happen. Or maybe she just happened to be randomly in my house, in my room, wearing the same clothes from my dream? Yeah, Carlin, _that_ must be it.

"No," I mumbled embarrassedly, "I was…fluffing it." I felt proud of myself.

She raised an eyebrow. "More like murdering it. I would hate to see how you treat it when you make your bed."

It seemed weird having our normal banter when I felt as if everything had changed last night. When I felt as if it was anything but normal. Ashley was used to this, wasn't she? Well she'd obviously had more experience in being with a girl. That thought immediately filled me with jealousy. Wow, I was a really winner, wasn't I?- getting jealous over girls I didn't even know who were with Ashley before I even knew her.

Ashley must have picked up on my vibe, because the teasing smile left her face and she moved to sit next to me. "What's wrong," she asked quietly, an unsure look in her eyes.

I didn't answer. I was trying to collect my thoughts before I shouted them at her all at once in a classic case of word vomit.

"Spence?" she asked worriedly, her face tilting to get a better look at mine.

"I just-" I began, only to cut myself off with a sigh.

"I'm not good at this," Ashley confessed, staring down at the hands in her lap.

I laughed disbelievingly. "Yeah right."

"Well kissing I am," she winked but turned serious almost immediately. "But not at this," she gestured to me.

"This?" I repeated confused. She was going to have to use better explanations.

Ashley sighed, and I knew she was having trouble with her words too. "_This_," she emphasized. "This whole morning after thing."

"Ashley, I know I'm not the first girl you've kissed." I tried to be blasé about saying it, but it hurt, even though it wasn't something she could take back.

"Of course not," she scoffed, flinching as she realized how it sounded. "I just…well normally…" She sighed and rolled her eyes at herself. "Normally I don't stick around to see," she finally confessed, strictly avoiding my eyes.

I knew that, but it hardly squelched the hurt. "And now?" I asked.

Ashley looked up at my question, perhaps sensing the uncertainty in my words, or maybe just because she wanted to see me. "And now I had a reason to stay. Have a reason," she corrected shyly, her eyes once again dropping to her lap.

My face lit up in a grin and my insides squirmed excitedly. I bit my lip in an effort to tone it down, but a quick glance at the slightly nervous brunette took away the possibility. I happily threw my arms around her, not realizing how much I missed holding her until the moment when I felt her again.

I felt Ashley sigh contently against my cheek as she put her arms around me. "I think you're doing fine," I whispered in her ear. "Ash?" I asked questioningly as I pulled back and felt her shiver. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing," she bit her lip shyly, an unknown look in her eye.

"Ash," I prodded, by now very curious.

"I just…I just really want to kiss you," she rushed out quickly as our eyes met.

My heart sped up and my body heated up just from knowing she wanted to kiss me. "You don't have to ask, you know," I teased with a small smile, even though my body was seemingly working on its own.

"I know, I just don't want to rush you." But despite her words she was already closing the distance between us.

"Are you sure you're Ashley Davies?" I asked in fake disbelief as I studied her face.

"Hmm," she considered while she looked over herself, "still hot. Yep, I'm sure." She gave me a cheeky smile.

Our eyes remained locked but she made no move to get any closer. "Are you sure you've kissed girls before, or am I going to have to kiss you?" I teased, raising my eyebrows in a challenge.

"Yes." She leaned in close and brought her hands to my face. "And yes," she whispered before she gently captured my lips.

She sighed as our lips met, or maybe it was me. It really didn't matter. Her mouth pressed harder into mine as she shifted so that she was fully sitting on the bed, and I moaned lightly at the sensation, my insides burning now.

Our mouths met over and over, and in between each second of separation I mourned the loss of contact. Her hands trailed down my arms to stop at my hips and pinch slightly. She shifted again, her legs opening slightly, and on instinct or some other force, I moved in between them.

"God Spence," Ashley breathed out huskily, causing my core to ignite at her tone.

Our whole body was touching, yet it felt like no matter what, I'd never get close enough to her. I was snapped out of my brief thought by Ashley sucking on my tongue. My God could the girl kiss. Not that I had doubts, or really any comparison, but damn did if feel good.

"Ash," I whimpered out when her hands slipped underneath the back of my shirt and began lightly touching the skin there.

It was funny thinking about her gently fingers when her mouth was anything but. Not to say that she was suffocating me like my old boyfriend managed to do, but it was…it was just good, and that's all that mattered.

She started to gentle up the kiss, and I finally recognized that we probably needed to breathe occasionally. The short breaths we stole in between kisses were hardly adequate, but really, who wanted to be separated from Ashley's lips for that long?

She gave me a lingering kiss and finally pulled back, resting her forehead on mine. I wasn't ready to open my eyes yet. I didn't want to go back to a world where time meant something.

"Spence," Ashley whispered to me breathlessly.

I slightly smiled, feeling good about being the cause for her uneven breathing. "Hmm?" I murmured into her neck, loving how good she smelled.

"Are you sure that _you_ haven't kissed girls before?" she lightly asked.

I lifted my head and paused in faux contemplation. "Well there was that one girl at the-" she cut me off as she hit my arm.

"I better be your first," she threatened with a smile. "And last," she added, sounding much more quiet and timid, as if she didn't know whether she should have said it.

I favored her with a loving smile, not really caring what my eyes might be revealing. My hand moved to stroke her face gently. "Definitely," I promised. I couldn't promise that, I had no clairvoyancy. But I knew what I wanted to happen, and with Ashley, in this moment, that's all that I cared about.

"Good," she nodded and smiled sweetly, leaning into the touch.

"Spence?" she said again after a moment.

"Yes, you can kiss me again," I fake sighed.

Ashley laughed and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, causing me to smile softly. "Not what I was going to say, smart ass."

"Only you could make that seem like a term of endearment."

"It's because it is." She gave me a big smile and stood up. "Now let's eat. I'm starving and it's-oh!" her voice dropped.

"Oh? Oh what?" I asked confused.

"Ten o'clock. Why didn't your alarm go off?" She gave me a confused look this time.

"I didn't set it," I confessed, feeling embarrassed as I remembered why I forgot.

"Why not?" she prodded.

"Well…I was a little distracted last night if I remember correctly." I blushed but gave her a pointed look.

"Sorry," she said, sounding anything but, especially with the smile that spread on her face.

"I wonder why my mom didn't come in. She didn't leave till seven and usually wakes me up." I rested my head in my hands thoughtfully.

"Oh, so it _was_ the door I heard earlier when we were kissing," Ashley said slowly in realization.

"Oh my God!" I said mortified. Mom would never let Ashley back over now. I'd have to move "to Germany," I said out loud.

"Spence."

I gave her a pained look. "I won't be able to see you."

"Spence," she tried again.

"I'll be kicked out of the family." My shoulders sagged in defeat.

"Spencer!" she said firmly.

"What?" I snapped, a little irritable considering it sort of was her fault.

"I was totally kidding. God you went psycho. It was crazy and-"

"That was not funny," I said sharply.

"And hot," she finished.

I couldn't help but laugh. "You would," I shook my head at her.

"Davies charm, baby." She patted my cheek. "Now please feed me. I hungee." She pouted and rubbed her stomach for emphasis.

"Oh you poor thing, wasting away to nothing," I cooed fondly. "Let Spencer take care of you, ok?" I gently patted her head.

"Ok," she agreed, sounding like a toddler trying to be brave about the shot he was about to get. I laughed and pulled her into the kitchen, letting out a surprised gasp as she smacked my butt, her face a complete mask of innocence as I looked at her accusingly.

"So what culinary miracles do we have waiting to be prepared, Chef Carlin?" Ashley stood next to me in the pantry, her presence already warming me.

"Well Ms. Davies, we have Coco Pebbles, Count Chocula, and Cookie Crisps." I pulled out the cereals for her.

"How do you not weigh three hundred pounds more? Or at least not have rotted teeth?" Ashley asked in amazement as she took in our sugar factory.

"I usually don't eat breakfast. Dad's a great cook but leaves too early to make breakfast. And mom shouldn't even be allowed to use the fridge, let alone the oven."

_"Something burning?" I asked my mom as I came into the kitchen to get a drink._

_"No." She sounded irritated as she put something in the microwave._

_"What's burning?" Glen called from the living room._

_"Nothing is burning, Glen," she said through gritted teeth._

_"Sure smells like something is," he yelled back._

_I was sure he could feel her glare through the wall. "How about you set the table?"_

_"Fine, just let me get my gas mask for the fumes," he retorted. I quickly held in my laugh at the glare my mom now directed at me._

_"Hello family," my dad called from the front door. "It smells like smoke. Did you leave a candle burning or something, Paula?"_

_"No!" my mom yelled for about the fifth time that night. "Dinner!" We all sat down at the table in record time._

_"What are we having, Mom?" Clay asked politely._

_"Chicken-"_

_"Charcoal," Glen quickly inserted, causing me to choke on my milk._

_"-with green beans and macaroni," my mom finished, thankfully not hearing Glen's comment._

_Dad said the blessing and opened the dish the chicken was in. Smoke quickly filled the dining room._

_"Smoked chicken, my favorite," I mumbled to Glen and Clay._

_"Must be a chicken from Clay's family."_

_"Glen," my parents chastised. _

_"I'm not **that** dark," Clay assured us, dodging the glares from Mom._

_"It said 450," my mom insisted._

_"You sure you didn't add another zero?"_

_"Arthur!" my mom said in outrage._

_"Sorry honey, but it is funny." He kissed her cheek in apology._

_We sat in silence as we waited to see who would be brave enough to take the first bite._

_"So..." I started, "pizza anyone?"_

"Sounds like my mom. That's why we have always had a cook. Although she's Hispanic and it drives my mom crazy because she always is mumbling in Spanish, and my mom thinks it's about her. It probably is," Ashley considered with a shrug.

"Well I'm not really feeling a hot pocket. Want to go out?" I suggested as I dejectedly closed the cabinet, disappointed with the lack of food.

"Our first real date," Ashley said with dramatic giddiness.

I laughed. "Oh yes, with our pajamas and bed hair."

"Well I look damn good." She stretched purposefully before eying me. "You too, Carlin." I blushed and smiled. "You can kiss me like there's no tomorrow, but complimenting you makes you blush like a school girl?" she teased and shook her head in fake disappointment.

"So," I threw out casually, "our first date?" I echoed. "So does this mean-" I dropped off, feeling silly for asking, and feeling like I'd never dated before in my life.

"Well I mean if you, you know, want to." Ashley shifted from foot to foot, and I was comforted to know she was nervous too.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"K," she answered, giving me a smile back. "God we're pathetic," she groaned. "We're acting like we've never dated before." She laughed at our absurdness.

"I know, but in our defense, it's different since we were friends first."

Ashley waved off my words. "Friendship is overrated."

"What do you mean?" I asked as we walked to the door.

"Well," she drawled out, "friends can't do this." She kissed me lightly on my lips, making me wonder if my giddy smile would be a permanent fixture.

"That's true," I nodded. "And they certainly couldn't do it twice." I leaned in and gave her a slightly longer kiss.

She smiled as we broke apart. "And definitely not a third time," she said quietly as her lips connected with mine, lasting longer than the previous two kisses.

It was gentle and sweet, but my heart still raced, and my giddy smile still resided long after we separated.

"Ugh, don't look like that Spence or we'll never leave to get food," Ashley complained as she pulled me out the door.

Unsure as to what exactly the look was, and not caring as her soft hand pulled me along, I let myself be led to her car. As if I could do anything but follow her. She had my heart, and I had no choice but to go wherever it went. As if I minded.


	16. Say It Again

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Some more reviews and people adding this to their update list or as their favorite story. Seriously, you have no idea how giddy I get. Just know I greatly love you all :D  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 16: Say it Again

"_Say it again for me_

_Because I love the way it feels_

_when you are telling me that I'm_

_the only one that's on your mind_"

Marie Digby

-

_You're house is way better than mine," I told Ashley as we were leaning against her head board, our sides touching as we watched some movie Ashley had picked out using 'eeny, meany, miney, mo.' She claimed it was a flawless system. And really, you couldn't argue with Ashley's "logic," but it didn't stop me from laughing at her cuteness._

_"A big empty house?" Her eyes were glued to the movie._

_"Yeah. I love my family and all, but I hate us being there when they are all there. I like it just being us," I told her shyly, playing with her comforter._

_"Yeah?" she asked as her eyes met mine and a smile formed on her perfect face. I nodded. "Me too," she smiled wider, resting her hand gently on my thigh and beginning to trace soft patterns. My leg tingled at the contact and I leaned into her side and, sighing at the comforting pressure and loving every moment with her._

_Ashley pressed a kiss into my hair and I felt the satisfied feeling double. My heart beat quickened as she shifted and turned to straddle me, trapping me between her long, tan legs. "You're so beautiful, Spence," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss me. I already felt my body begin to slowly burn as I closed the distance._

_"Ashley do you-" Ashley's mom's voice dropped as she saw us. "Really Ashley, what's with the sudden obsession with bringing them home now?"_

_"Mom," Ashley rolled her eyes._

_Christine regarded me for a moment. "You again?" she said in surprise._

_A blush flamed on my cheeks. "Hi," I said shyly, feeling extremely uncomfortable at being caught, especially since Ashley was still on top of me._

_"Bye mom," Ashley rudely said as she rolled off me, sighing her annoyance._

_"Two nights in a row, dear? Should you really tease the poor girl like that?" I was amazed at how her tone never strayed from derogatory. I just wanted to scream, 'I'm still in the room, you know!' but I didn't think that would go over well._

_"Don't you have some one else to bother, like maybe number eight?"_

_Christine ignored Ashley's comment and reached into her purse. "This should cover both nights," she said as she threw money at me and turned and left. I just stared at the door, feeling like I had been slapped._

_"God, I'm so sorry, Spence." Ashley turned towards me and glanced at me unsurely._

_"You weren't kidding when you said you never stuck around." I tried to sound casual, but like always, I failed._

_"Spence," Ashley said quietly, probably unsure herself of what she could say._

_I shook my head. "I know you have a past, I understand. Really, I do, I just-" I stopped and Ashley put a hand on mine, silently urging me to continue. "I guess it just hurts knowing how you used those people. How little you cared, and how recent it was." I looked down at my hands for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "It scares me. What if I'm not enough?" I didn't really expect her to answer, I just wanted to share my doubts._

_She shook her head quickly. "Don't say that."_

_"How can I not? I feel like there is this clock that is counting down the time until you get bored and move on." I met her eyes, daring her to prove me wrong; begging her to prove me wrong._

_"Don't hold my past against me," she said in a raised voice. "I'm not digging up old skeleton of yours."_

_I stared at my lap, not wanting to meet her eyes. "Do you regret any of it?" I asked quietly._

_"Spence."_

_"Do you," I asked a little louder, forcing myself to look into her eyes._

_She hesitated for a moment. "No," she finally answered, this time being the one to avoid eye contact._

_I nodded dejectedly and stood up, picking my phone and purse up to head home. She was my ride, but I'd rather walk than deal with her for a second longer._

_"I can't regret it," she finally said. _

_I turned and looked at her in disbelief. "Yeah, that's real great, Ashley." I couldn't stand to use her nickname, not when it was so intimate. I continued my walk to the door._

_"I can't regret it," she repeated, "not when I know it brought me to you." My feet stopped from her admission, but I didn't dare turn around yet. I knew I'd give in if I did. "Ask me when it stopped," she softly commanded._

_I looked and saw the sincerity in her brown eyes. I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. "When did it stop?" I asked just as quietly. There was no point in acting coy about it._

_"September twenty second." Her eyes met mine, daring me to understand._

_I gasped in surprise. "That was the day-"_

_"We first met," she finished with a nod. "I'm not saying I was a saint in my past. God knows I was anything but that. But it all changed when I saw you."_

_I found myself walking over to the brunette. "Ash," I whispered._

_"There's just something about you that makes me want to be different," she admitted with a shrug, and I felt as if my heart couldn't handle much more before it died from happiness._

_I smiled and closed the remaining distance between us in a sweet kiss. It didn't need to be anything else. We broke apart and rested our foreheads together, sharing a goofy smile._

_Her soft hands stroked my cheeks lovingly. "I can't change the past Spence, so I look to the future. And all I see is you." I was certain I had melted._

_"Ashley, I-" My breath caught in surprise. Was I really about to confess and change everything? We'd only been together for a few months. It didn't matter how long we'd been friends-how long I'd been in love._

_"Yeah?" she asked breathlessly, as if she knew it was an important moment._

_I closed my eyes and shook my head, inwardly cursing and thanking my loss of bravery. Instead I pressed a soft kiss to her beautiful cheek, hoping that she would know how I was feeling, simply through that small action, even if she couldn't fully grasp the depth of it._

I smiled as I reminisced, my head leaning against the cool glass of the window of the car.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Ashley asked as she noticed my smile.

I smiled again as her gorgeous eyes met mine. "You," I admitted softly.

A pretty smile formed on her face. "Oh? What about me?" she asked interestedly.

"How pretty you are." I lightly touched her cheek and smiled as she leaned into the caress.

"Only pretty?" she fake pouted with an affronted look. "What happened to words like hot and sexy?"

"Oh, are we talking about that Spencer Carlin girl now?" I teased.

"Uh, no. I believe I said hot and sexy." Ashley stuck her tongue out at me. I gave her a sad face, throwing my best sad face at her. "And Spencer Carlin is so much more than that," she added quickly, giving me a big smile.

"Eww," I wrinkled my nose, "you sound like you have a crush on her." I tried my best to adapt a "boys have cooties" voice.

Ashley shrugged. "Maybe a little." She demonstrated the amount with her thumb and index fingers.

"Well sorry, but from what I've heard, she's happily taken." I patted her shoulder sympathetically.

"Damn," she snapped her fingers, "that Kelly girl gets everything."

"You are lucky you are driving," I threatened with a laugh.

Ashley slammed on the breaks suddenly, causing my body to be slung forward further into the seatbelt. "Oh my God! What happened?" I asked worriedly as I looked for any signs of an animal or small child that might have darted across in front of us. "Ash?" I asked uncertainly. She was just staring out the windshield.

She turned to me suddenly. "I'm not driving anymore," she randomly said.

"Uh, ok," I said slowly in confusion. "Do you want me to drive?"

"No. I mean, I'm not driving anymore," she reiterated. I'm sure the look I gave her conveyed my incomprehension. "You said I was lucky I was driving, and now I'm not. So what are you going to do?" She unbuckled her seat belt and leaned towards me, wearing a challenging look.

"That's why you gave me whiplash?" I demanded incredulously. "God Ash, if the heart attack wasn't enough to kill me, the seat belt permanently imbedded to my skin sure helps," I finished sarcastically. I didn't deal well in frantic situations. I should probably come with a warning label.

"Aw, you poor baby," she cooed. My breath caught as she leaned across and undid my seatbelt as well.

"Ash?"

"So," she said softly, "Spencer Carlin is happily taken?" she whispered, her face mere inches from mine.

I swallowed heavily as her closeness intoxicated me. "Yeah," I breathed out.

"Yeah?" she echoed, her body shifting so that she was in my lap and her hands were trapping my head between her arms.

"Hell yeah," I managed out, desperate to feel her lips on mine.

She gave me a smoldering look. "God I love it when you swear," she said huskily and finally closed the distance.

I loved when she took charge like this. She normally did anyway because I was still sometimes unsure, but still, I loved it. It was so indicative of her personality, of how aggressive she was with everything. I felt a moan escape me as our middles met.

A car horn snapped us out of our daze. I blushed as I realized we were still in her car in plain sight. I was thankful that she had at least thought to pull over some what so that we weren't completely blocking the normally deserted street.

"Fucking car," Ashley swore as she rested her face on my seat, breathing heavily. I smiled and laughed at her frustration, even though I felt the exact same way. "Still want to go see the movie?" she asked, her unwillingness clearly evident as she stroked my hair.

"Mmm," I hummed contently, leaning into her touch, "you already bought tickets," I reminded.

"So? It's not like it's my last dollar."

"And we're already dressed," I tried next.

Ashley eyed me appreciatively. "That can be changed," she said suggestively.

I laughed and smacked her playfully. "Geeze, you are a perve."

"Better than a prude," she smiled as she leaned back.

"Is that directed at anyone in particular," I challenged.

"Maybe," she answered coyly, sliding back to her seat, much to my protest. She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss, quickly silencing further complaint. "Now let's go to this movie," she gave a fake dramatic sigh.

"Aw, it'll be ok, Ash," I assured her in a baby voice as we got out of the car.

"You owe me extra buttery popcorn." She pointed her finger towards the machine as she handed our tickets over.

"And a root beer," I promised, laughing as she sent me a big grin.

It was the simple moments like this that made me fall in love with her all over again. That made me strain to remember a time when my skin didn't tingle from her touch, when my lips didn't crave hers, and when my heart didn't melt simply from being next to her.

"Thinking about me again?" Ashley asked amusedly.

I smiled at her. "Always." Damn, what a line, I congratulated myself.

Ashley smiled back at me. "Sweet talker."

I shrugged. "I learned from the best. Plus, it's true." I blushed and looked down shyly at my flip flops.

Ashley gave me a pretty smile and grabbed my hand and drug me to the concessions. "Popcorn and root beer," she excitedly reminded me.

I was surprised she hadn't wet herself yet, although I really couldn't be too sure. All her jumping probably had loosened some pee up at least.

"Spence?" Ashley called once her mouth was free from the huge mouthful of popcorn she had shoved in.

"Hm?" I asked distractedly. Ashley was a talker during movies, but I usually preferred just to sit and watch.

"I…thanks for the popcorn," she finished, immediately sighing and rolling her eyes at herself, letting me know that's not what she was planning on saying. I gave her my full attention now. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

I frowned in disappointment when she didn't say anything else. "Ash, what did you-"

"Sh!" Ashley cut me off.

"Hey, I was just trying to see-" I tried again

"Shh!" random voices chimed in.

I looked around angrily. "It's a free refill on this popcorn, and I'm not afraid to throw it!" I threatened the anonymous shushers.

"Don't waste the popcorn!" Ashley whispered in outrage.

"Sh," I teased with a smile.

"SHHH!" some one else ordered me.

"God, are we freaking in a library?" I demanded quietly.

Ashley smiled and kissed my cheek, effectively calming me down-much to my dislike. Ok, who was I kidding? Like I could even think about anything else after her lips touched me. She was welcome to calm me down that way any time.

---

I was on the phone with Ashley later that night. The movie sucked, as Ashley was quick to mention every ten minutes. She was good about reminding me how she insisted on not going. I told her that I bought her popcorn _and_ root beer. She stopped complaining after that. A little.

"Spence," she whispered suddenly, stopping me from hanging the phone up after our goodbye.

"Yeah?"

"I…you're always on my mind too," she admitted quietly.

I felt my whole body melt into a puddle. "Good," I answered firmly, "because there is no place else I'd rather be."

I could hear her smile. "Night Spence," she whispered.

I heard her pause and knew she was waiting on me. It made me smile at her cuteness. "Good night, Ash."

I heard her hang up the phone. "I love you," I told my bedroom, somehow hoping that the words would carry over to the air Ashley was breathing in, silently berating myself for being such a coward. I thought coming out was bad, but this was way scarier, I thought.

Oh how foolish I was.


	17. Every Time We Touch

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Ok so this is a shorter chapter, but it shall have to do as I have to work. (wow that sounded all proper lol) :P_

_-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 17: Every Time We Touch

"_'Cause every time we touch_

_I get this feeling_

_And every time we kiss_

_I swear I can fly_"

Cascada

-

_"Do you remember Matt?" my mom randomly asked me._

_I gave her a look. "Matt who?" Seriously, that had to be one of the most common names in the world._

_"Carpenter," she explained with an eye roll, as if I should have known. Sorry I gave up my mind reading abilities, Mom._

_"Oh yeah. Why?" I asked without much interest. I was more concerned with flipping through the channels._

_Clearly she didn't care. "Well I was talking to his mother after church on Sunday, and she mentioned him and I thought you might be interested." She said it casually, but I knew exactly what she was doing._

_"I hate being set up," I whined._

_"It's not like it would be a blind date. You already know him. And it's not like you're seeing someone, right?" She gave me an intense stare._

_I froze. Do I say yes? Should I pretend I no longer hablo ingles? What? I demanded of myself._

_"Are you? I haven't heard you mention any guys." Maybe the emphasis on the word guys was just my imagination._

_"Well I..."_

_"Paula, can you come here?" my dad called from the kitchen._

_Oh thank God! I made a mental note to spend extra money on his birthday present this year._

_My mom sighed loudly before answering, "Sure dear," and leaving me alone again where I stared at the screen, not processing anything._

"So you didn't tell her?" I could sense the hurt in Ashley's words and the slight accusation.

"I've tried. So many times, but it's so hard."

We were sitting on my bed, and even though our sides were touching, I felt as if so much space was between us.

"I know it is," she assured me gently. "I just hate this being a secret."

I rested my hand on her knee. "I do too. You know I just want to be with you," I affirmed her softly.

"But," she supplied.

"But," I answered, "I can't even imagine how she'll react. I'd rather face God than her. At least he forgives." I tried to joke but it fell flat as I saw the look on her face.

Ashley rested a hand on mine reassuringly. "She'll get over it Spence."

"Like your mom did?" I said bitterly, immediately regretting my harshness, especially as I saw her tense up.

She quickly removed my hand from her knee. "That's not fair," she spoke quietly.

"I know, I'm sorry. That was way out of line." I tentatively touched my hand back to her knee. "I'm just so scared. How do I even bring it up? It's not exactly dinner conversation. 'How's school, Spencer?' 'Oh it's good. By the way, I'm gay and dating Ashley.' 'That's great, honey.'" I gave a sigh and ran a hand through my hair.

Ashley gave me a hard look at my sarcasm. "Look, you can't wait for the right moment Spencer, because then you are letting all these other moments pass you by. There is no such thing as the right moment with something like this." Her hand moved back to mine and she began stroking it lightly.

"I'm so tired of right and wrong; right moments, right people to love. I'm sick of it! Who got to decide it? Why is their word law?" I held our linked hands up. "How can something that feels this right be wrong?" I whispered sadly.

She removed her hand again, and I felt hurt by the cold attitude until I felt her arm go around me and she pulled me into a hug. "There is no right and wrong. Right now, there is only you and me; us and this moment."

Her gorgeous eyes met mine, filling me with so much assurance and hope. I smiled lovingly and rested my head on her shoulders, letting everything that was Ashley sweep over me and comfort me.

These moments made me ready to risk it all. Made me boldly dare my mom to ask me if I was dating some one. Made me want to tell everyone how much I loved Ashley. That made me want to show them the Ashley I knew and loved, even if a selfish part of me never wanted anyone else to know.

I put my arms around Ashley's waist, sighing happily when she placed a kiss in my hair. "I like you and me. Us," I said softly. I loosened my grip slightly so that I could look into her beautiful chocolate eyes.

"You know what you'll like more?" she asked.

"A kiss?" I asked hopefully, earning a chuckle from Ashley as she shook her head.

She walked over to her purse and pulled something out. "Uh uh. This." She handed me a small white box.

I inhaled excitedly as I saw the words T&Co written on the box. "Ash!" I exclaimed as I opened the box and pulled out a white gold heart necklace. "My God, it's so beautiful." I fingered it delicately.

Ashley flipped it over in my hands, displaying _A&S Forever_ engraved on the back. "You have my heart, Spence," she whispered with so much emotion and vulnerability that my heart clenched and I felt myself tear up.

She took the necklace from me and gently swept my hair off my neck. She clasped the necklace and placed a small kiss on my neck before she put my hair back in place.

My body was now screaming at me to tell her how I felt. "Ashley," I whispered shakily but with conviction. Her eyes flickered to mine. "I…I l-"

"What's going on?" my mom demanded sharply.

Dammit! I was so freaking close! Damn you, Mom. Damn you and your timing and damn your apparent ninja skills since I never heard the door open.

Ashley and I quickly stepped away from each other, even though it was pointless since my mom had already seen us.

Five more seconds, that's all I needed! Not that Ashley probably couldn't have figured out what I was going to say, but still. Damn, damn, and DAMN!

My mom looked at Ashley. "Are you staying for dinner?" she bit off, her tone indicating she wasn't extending an invitation.

"Uh, no I…I'm heading home. Thanks though, Mrs. C." Neither Ashley nor I removed our gazes from the carpet. "I'll call you later," Ashley promised, giving me a quick glance before swiftly leaving my room at a speed hardly classified as walking.

"Spencer," my mom said disapprovingly.

"Dinner ready?" I ignored her tone.

"Spencer," she said again.

I looked up to my ceiling and sighed. "Not now mom," I begged tiredly, giving her a pleading look. She nodded and headed downstairs and I followed her, knowing eating was the last thing on my mind, despite my dad's assurance about his record breaking chicken pasta.

---

I lay in bed that night, knowing my phone's caller ID wouldn't flash Ashley's name no matter how much I touched my necklace. I was hating that we probably needed this night off from talking. Hating that I already missed her. Hating that loving her was so easy, but losing her would be so hard. Hating that I was even considering losing her.

_"You have my heart, Spence."_

Loving that I could still hear her say that. Simply just loving Ashley.


	18. Fall for You

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N:**_I know last chapter was short, but you still got some goodies. And now, I think you will be very pleased with this chapter. I like it, that's for sure. Let me know what you think :)__  
_

_-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 18: Fall for You

"_Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again_"

Secondhand Serenade

-

_"What's that, Kiddo?" my dad asked as he sat down next to me on the couch._

_"What's what?" I asked confused._

_He pointed to my neck. "That necklace you're playing with." _

_I didn't even know I had been messing with it. I fiddled with it all the time, it was subconscious now. I did it when I thought of Ashley, so it was no wonder I was constantly touching it._

_"Just a necklace," I shrugged, hoping he'd let it drop._

_He inspected the heart. "Tiffany and Company? That's some quality jewelry," he complimented. _

_My breath caught as he flipped it over. I sent a quick prayer begging my dad not to see the engraved words. A was a common letter- it could be any number of A names…of boy A names. It didn't necessarily mean Ashley._

_"Ashley has good taste," he commented casually as he let the necklace fall back down to my chest. Apparently karma was catching up with me. Karma, you really are a bitch._

_"W…what do you mean?" Great, stuttering won't make him think something is up. Smooth, Spencer._

_He gave me a kind look. "Well, she chose you, didn't she?"_

_I was sure my jaw connected with the floor. "Dad, I-"_

_"She's a great girl, Spencer." He smiled and patted my leg and then stood up and left._

_I sat in stunned silence, staring at his recently vacated spot, trying to reel my jaw back up to my face._

"I love your dad," Ashley said happily.

"It was a weird conversation," I admitted. "But I guess it means he's ok with it?" I said unsure.

"Well it's Mother Theresa I'm worried about," Ashley commented.

"Why? She's dead," I joked.

"Not yet," Ashley snapped her fingers, smiling as I smacked her disapprovingly.

I gave her a faux glare. "She's still my mom." I felt a little honor-bound to defend my mom. I still wanted that seat in heaven for 'honoring my mother.'

"Yeah, yeah," Ashley waved her subway at me before taking a bite.

"So," I threw out casually as I tried my best to subtly look around.

"So," Ashley repeated, "what's got you so nervous? Is Mrs. Darby here?" she joked as she looked around.

"Ha ha," I deadpanned. "And I'm not nervous."

Ashley stilled my shaking leg with a hand on my knee. "Really?" she raised her eyebrows.

"I'm just cold," I lied- poorly I might add. I looked out the windows into the parking lot for any signs.

"Seriously Spence, you're freaking me out. I feel like we are about to get gunned down," Ashley whined as she too started looking around. "Maybe we shouldn't sit by the windows. I'd rather not get showered in glass."

"I'm just-Hey!" I interrupted myself as my phone rang. "Yes! What? Oh," I said disappointed, "yeah, that's ok. Yeah, I can do that. Ok, bye!"

Ashley got up and sat next to me in the booth. "Who was that?" she asked curiously as she tilted her head so she could see my phone.

I quickly put my phone in my pocket. "Glen," I answered vaguely.

She regarded me for a moment. "Ok, it's not a surprise party. Not an anniversary. Not your birthday," Ashley checked off on her fingers. "God, what is going on!" she said loudly.

I smiled at her frustration. "Don't worry about it," I assured her with a confident smile.

"I will find out," she promised threateningly as she paid for our meal and we went to her car.

"Soon enough you will," I promised back, feeling anxious and excited for it all to play out. "Hey, can we stop at Gray? I forgot I have to talk to Madison about English since you made me skip Monday…and Tuesday _and_ Wednesday," I reminded the older girl with a fake stern look.

"Ugh, do we have to?" she complained as she put her car in gear. She had already forgotten about the mystery caller. Diversionary tactics were a success. Score one team Carlin!

"Please," I pouted pitifully, throwing my arms around her arm and squeezing it to me briefly.

Ashley sighed dramatically. "Fine," she consented, "but only because I like you." I smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Mm, I'm going to need more payment than that if Madison is involved."

I gave her another quick peck. "Later," I promised. "Now drive, woman."

"So demanding. Why do I suffer through the abuse?"

I pretended to think about it. "'Cause I'm preeety," I sang out happily.

"Lucky for you."

"And you," I smiled.

"Well I don't know about that. I don't like having competition," Ashley jokingly warned.

"It's so not even close. You win every time," I told her seriously.

"Spence," Ashley said sweetly, intertwining our hands. I smiled at the gesture and stroked her soft hand with my thumb. "Now hurry up and meet up with Satan so we can go," she ordered, doing her best to give an intimidating look.

"Come with me, please? I don't want to deal with her alone. Please?" I said again as Ashley shook her head.

She sighed. "Ok, but you owe me big time," she warned as she walked over to me.

"Definitely," I promised. I stepped over to her and put my arms around her neck.

"What are you doing, Spence," Ashley asked, her voice already husky as her brown eyes turned darker and flicked down to my mouth before resting back on my blue eyes.

I smiled at how her hands found my hips almost instinctively. "Paying up," I whispered on her lips, only a breath away from kissing her.

"Spence." I lightly kissed her neck. "Mm, don't tease," she moaned.

"Never." I captured her lips with mine and instantly sighed at the familiar sensations shooting through me.

We kissed slowly, gently, at first, as if we both were savoring each other's taste. Then her tongue touched my lips, and I opened my mouth and pressed into her. I let out a moan as Ashley pushed me up against her car, her hips meeting mine and sending fire through me. "Ash," I moaned while she kissed my neck, making me throw my head back.

God did it feel good. I slid my hands to her hair, holding her lovely mouth to my neck until I had to have her lips back on mine. I didn't last very long.

"Mm, do you really-mm- want to go see-mm- Madison?" Ashley moaned out between kisses.

Shit, Madison, I remembered. I reluctantly broke the kiss, smiling as Ashley groaned in protest and sent me a pout. "Come on, we have to reach her before she leaves." I smiled and gently held Ashley back when she tried to lean in and kiss me again.

"Humph," Ashley complained petulantly, but she let me pull her into the club.

We walked in and I smiled as I saw Ashley looking around confused as she spotted a single table in the middle of the room. "What happened in here? And not that I particularly care, but where's Madison?" she asked confused.

I bit back my smile as I spotted him on stage fumbling around. "What's going on?" Ashley demanded. "And who is that- oh my God!" her voice suddenly dropped off as her jaw dropped and her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Hey honey," the man smiled at Ashley as he walked over to us.

"Dad! What are you-how did you…what the hell?" She sputtered out, looking from me to her dad and back to me in rapid succession. She quickly ran up and hugged him tightly.

"Well," he drew out, "I was in the area and figured I'd stop by," he said with a chuckle.

"In LA? But you're touring in New York City till next week," Ashley shook her head.

"Well some crazy girl called me saying I absolutely had to come to LA." He gave me a wink and I blushed and looked down.

Ashley turned to me in surprise. "You-you did this?" she asked softly.

"Kinda," I shrugged, acting like it hadn't taken two months of constant calls and emails.

"Don't let her do that. It was all her, Ashley," Mr. Davies assured her. Wow, that felt awkward.

"Spence," Ashley breathed out quietly, her brown eyes conveying much more than her simple word. I felt my heart swell at the emotion I saw in her eyes and I was sure we all could feel my love for her echoing off the walls of the club.

"Have her home by eleven," I jokingly threatened Mr. Da-uh, Ashley's dad.

"Yes ma'am," he promised with a laugh, adding a bow for affect. "Thanks again," he called out as I reached the exit. I smiled and threw a wave over my shoulder as I got into the dark haired boy's car.

"You love her," Aiden smiled.

"Yeah, I really do," I agreed with a goofy smile, feeling relieved that I had some one else to talk to it about.

He gave me a gentle smile. "You'll never know how much this means to her."

I smiled and shook my head. "Somehow I think I will," I said with confidence.

We rode the rest of the way in silence. Well…not complete silence exactly, but after six consecutive one word responses from me, Aiden gave up trying. It wasn't completely my fault; Ashley was the one to blame for distracting me. Plus it wasn't my fault he kept asking yes or no questions.

---

A faint tapping at my window and a whispered, '_Psst,_' woke me up from my half-sleep. I groggily glanced at my clock as I walked over to my curtains. _12:15 am_. A quick opening of my curtains revealed a shorts and tank top clad Ashley. I smiled at how beautiful she looked.

I helped her off the ladder and through the window. "Did I wake you?" she asked as she took in my lovely bed hair, which I self-consciously ran my hands through.

"Nah," I lied, unable to stifle the yawn. Ashley smiled knowingly and followed me to my bed. I nodded to my alarm clock. "You're past curfew."

"Afraid I'd turn into a pumpkin?" she joked quietly a she laid down beside me, resting her head on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through her soft curls. "You'd be the most beautifully pumpkin," I said sleepily but with no less conviction.

I felt her smile into my neck. "Thanks," she whispered.

I gave a light shrug. "It's true."

She laughed softly. "No, not for that. Well, ok for that, but I meant for my dad." She stroked my forearm lightly and I shivered from the light caress.

"It was nothing," I assured her, brushing off her thanks but inwardly pleased that she was happy.

"No, it was everything." She squeezed my arm in emphasis. "Spence, I've never been able to get my dad to come see me, no matter how much I cried and begged. I always see him the exact same days every year. But you…you somehow got him to cut his tour short just so he could come see me." She sat up slightly and looked into my eyes, her hand still slowly rubbing my arm.

"Well I know how happy he made you when he came last time," I explained quietly, tucking a curl behind her ear.

"He did make me happy," she nodded. "But now, the person who makes me happy is you." My breath caught at her beautiful words. "Spencer, I can't even begin to explain how much this means to me. There aren't enough words to even come close to conveying it."

"You deserved it. You got me a gift, I figured it was only fair."

She shook her head lightly. "Don't sell yourself short. I know you had to do a lot. I know what I had to go through just to be able to talk to him on the phone. My dad told me that you called every day for two months to get him. And emailed-or blackmailed as he said," Ashley softly laughed and then turned serious again. "I used to think that no one cared about me, that no one would even bother tearing down the walls I put up. But then you came in your little Ohio bulldozer and brought them all down."

I laughed at the analogy. "-and I couldn't even focus on the broken pieces because even though that was shattered, my heart was finally completely pieced together. And I couldn't see that because I-" She stopped and just stared into my eyes for a moment, making sure my blue eyes never left her brown ones. "-because I never realized I only had half a heart until you came along with the other half and made me whole.

Ashley grabbed my hands with both of hers, her chocolate orbs shining intensely. "Spencer I…I love you," she whispered breathlessly, and I never understood how those words could completely stop my heart, yet at the same time make me feel as if it were finally beating for the first time. "You had my heart long before I gave you this necklace." She gently grabbed it, pulling me to her.

"Say it again," I whispered.

"I love you," she smiled and gave me a sweet kiss, her arms hugging me to her warm body.

"God Ash, I love you too. I love you so much," I admitted as I gave her a light kiss. "I've wanted to tell you for so long but-"

Ashley silenced me with a finger on my lips. "Remember what I said before? There is no right and wrong, there is only you and me."

"Us," I finished with a smile, kissing her more fully this time, wondering how I ever termed the thing I was doing before Ashley as existing. For me, there was no 'before Ashley' time period, because my life didn't truly begin until September 22 at 8:05 am.


	19. Because You Live

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_I cannot express how happy these reviews make me! You inspire me to write more stuff and, of course, to update faster. You're making me want to update like every few hours, but I must be strong lol.__  
_

_-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 19: Because You Live

"_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you made me believe in myself_

_When nobody else can help_

_Because you live girl, my world_

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_"

Jesse McCartney

-

"Do you guys want any more popcorn?" my mom asked us, walking through the living room for about the tenth time in a span of five minutes.

"We're fine, Mom" I sighed in annoyance as I held up a full bowl.

She was driving Ashley and me crazy. It was bad enough that she made us watch the movie in the living room instead of my room, but then she insisted on offering us every possible food item in the house. We both knew what she was doing, and neither of us appreciated it.

"Ok, just let me know if you need anything," she said sweetly, giving us a bright smile.

"Oh, we will," Ashley assured her with extra politeness, pinching my side and making me gasp in surprise.

"What was that?" my mom stuck her head in the doorway.

Ashley snickered quietly and slyly put a hand on my thigh, causing my breath to hitch. "N-nothing mom," I said quickly, trying to subtly stop Ashley's hand from progressing any higher.

"It sounded like something," she insisted, thankfully not coming any closer.

I rolled my eyes. "It was the movie. You know, the one we're trying to watch." I sent her a significant look.

"Ok. Have fun. Let me know if you need any-"

"Ok Mom," I interrupted loudly as I hit Ashley's hand, causing the brunette to smile wickedly. I turned towards Ashley. "Are you trying to get me sent off to some Nazi camp?" I whispered.

"What?" she said innocently, looking around before leaning in and giving me a quick peck.

"That innocent act doesn't work for you," I laughed, smiling goofily as she grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Well not all of us can be that innocent," she winked at me.

"Me?" I fake scoffed. "Yeah right. You've corrupted me Davies." I gave her a knowing look.

"Good," she smiled, "because I've always had a thing for bad girls."

"Really?" I asked interestedly as I leaned towards her.

"Mhm." She inched closer.

"And what qualifies some one as being bad?" I said huskily.

Ashley stroked my face lightly. "Kissing their girlfriend while their mom is nearby."

"Well I don't want to disappoint," I said quietly, finally meeting her lips.

Ashley sighed and smiled into the kiss and threaded her hand in my hair to move to the back of my head to hold me closer.

We heard footsteps and Ashley sighed again, this time in frustration. We broke apart and moved away a little, silently cursing the unknown intruder.

"Hey," Clay said hesitantly, obviously catching our glares.

"Hey," Ashley answered shortly, her tone indicating she wasn't thrilled about the interruption.

"Clay?" I said confusedly.

"So, uh, what move are you watching?" He cringed at himself.

"_Hide and Seek_," Ashley replied. She looked at him intently. "It's really scary," she explained.

"Oh, I love scary movies!" he exclaimed excitedly.

I heard Ashley's defeated sigh and saw her eye roll. "Of course you do," she muttered to herself.

"Clay, what are you doing here?" I asked with a hint of annoyance.

He looked around the living room, avoiding our eyes. "Well uh…I love scary movies?" he said weakly.

Ashley gave him an eyebrow raise. "Tell Paula we aren't doing anything but watching the movie. Trying to watch," she corrected loudly, giving a significant look to the doorway of the living room where my mom was last seen.

Clay looked between us for a moment. "Um, yeah, ok. Uh, bye." He got up as quickly as he had come.

"God I wish we could just go to my house," Ashley sighed.

"I know," I also sighed, "I'm sorry. This was the only way we could hang out." I gave her an uncertain look.

She put a warm hand on my knee. "This is better than nothing," she assured me gently.

I smiled and squeezed her hand. "Let's just do this another night. We wouldn't be able to watch the movie anyway with all the interruptions."

She nodded and we walked outside to sit in her car for a bit. The cold night swept over me, and I shivered. I smiled sweetly as Ashley gave me the hoodie she had been wearing. I inhaled deeply, taking in her sweet vanilla scent that always managed to comfort me.

"Sorry about my mom," I said again once I was snuggled into the hoodie.

"That's not your fault," she shrugged.

"I know, but still. I-I want to tell her about me…and about us," I whispered timidly to the stars.

Ashley turned to me with a surprised look on her face. "Whenever you're ready, Spence," she promised, but I could see she was pleased.

"I want her to know how great you are and how happy you make me. And how much I love you," I finished with a whisper. We were both still shy about saying it, but that's what made it that much more sweet, that neither of us had felt this way before.

She smiled widely. "I love you too," she whispered back. "And that means a lot to me." She took my hand again.

"You mean a lot to me," I said pointedly.

She smiled again and gave me a light kiss on my nose, making me smile shyly. "In these moments, I can't think about your mom or any one else. The only thing on my mind is you."

I took the initiative this time and leaned in and kissed her. I could tell she was pleasantly surprised as I felt her smile against my lips. We kissed for several moments until I felt Ashley gentle the kiss and rest her forehead against mine as we caught our breath.

"I want you to come out to your mom, so much, but I want you to do it because you are ready, not because you feel obligated. No pressure," she smiled and put her pinky out.

I laughed at her silliness and linked my pinky with hers. "Has anyone told you how great you are?"

She put a hand up to her chin and stroked it thoughtfully. "Not today," she answered seriously.

I laughed and shook my head at her. "Or how modest you are?"

"Again," she smiled, "not today." Her white teeth flashed in the darkness and I laughed again and kissed her cheek. She was just too cute.

"Spencer!" my mom's oh-so-lovely voice rang out.

I looked at Ashley and sighed regretfully. She gave me a small smile. "You better go," Ashley half attempted, glancing at my mom standing expectantly at the door.

"Yeah," I answered unenthusiastically, wanting nothing more than to have Ashley drive us away. I wasn't dumb enough to mention it to the brunette. She'd slam down on the gas pedal before I'd have the chance to finish my sentence.

"Night Spencer," Ashley whispered. She kept giving glances to my mom to make sure she was still there and that she couldn't kiss me.

"Night Ash," I whispered back, desperately wanting to kiss her too, but knowing that that wouldn't be the best way to inform my mom of my preference for girls. Instead I leaned in and gave her a tight hug, knowing it would have to be enough. I felt her sigh into my neck and briefly squeeze me tighter.

"I love you," she whispered, making me smile and tell her I loved her too.

"Spencer," my mom scolded.

I rolled my eyes to Ashley and sighed. "Coming." I gave Ashley one more look and then headed to my mom.

"That's not your sweatshirt," she pointed out meanly. Wow, nothing gets past you Mom.

I looked down at Ashley's hoodie, completely forgetting I had it on. "I better give it back," I said excitedly, glad that I had an excuse to run back to her.

"What's up?" she smiled as she saw me running towards her.

"I forgot to give this to you," I said as I began taking off the hoodie.

She put a hand on my shoulder and shook her head. "Keep it," she smiled.

I smiled back and nodded. "I wanted to anyway."

"Goodbye Ashley," my mom called out, harshly reminding me that I had to come inside now.

"Aw, Paula is always so polite," Ashley mocked. I smiled and quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed gently before running back over to my mom.

"Aren't you going to give it back?" my mom crossed her arms disapprovingly.

"Oh, um…she said she'd get it later," I lied and quickly walked up to my room to avoid any further question.

I laid in bed and glanced out my window, wishing Ashley was here with me. It had only been five minutes and I already missed her. I inhaled her scent from the hoodie and felt myself relax instantly. She might not be here, but she was surrounding me, and that would be enough for now.

---

The days passed, and each one I fell in love with Ashley even more. Each one I wanted to come out to my parents more. I didn't know what to expect, and I wasn't very reassured by Ashley's advice, especially considering her relationship with her mom. And her mom wasn't even Paula Carlin. Lucky her.

Ashley was very understanding about me not coming out, but I could tell it bothered her. Hell it bothered me too. But no moment was ever right. I tried a few times, only to be interrupted by Glen, or my parents' phone ringing, and even the freaking pizza guy one time. To top things off, my mom went into overdrive with her 'find Spencer a nice catholic boy' plan. I managed to get out of them all. I had never been so relieved to get sick.

Apparently my mom couldn't put two and two together and conclude Ashley was sick when she had been over and then suddenly I got sick. I guessed they assumed it was from spending time together. That was partially true. The whole kissing thing probably helped spread the germs faster too.

I remembered wanting my parents to know about Ashley and me without me having to tell them. Well it seemed the saying was right: 'Be careful what you wish for.'

How I wished for a rewind button.


	20. The Hardest Thing

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So sadly this is almost the end of my story. But fear not, you still have a few more chapters.__  
_

_-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 20: The Hardest Thing

"_It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do._

_To turn around and walk away_

_pretending I don't love you_"

98 Degrees

-

_"-happy birthday tooo yooou!!!" Everyone finished screaming out, any semblance of singing long abandoned._

_"Thanks everyone," I smiled happily as I gave countless hugs to all my guests. Ashley wasn't in line. Mom conveniently had her bring the cake over._

_After getting arthritis from opening all my gifts and a sore spine from all the bear hugs I got from various uncles, I was sitting by Ashley at one of the tables. Most of the people had left, making the day much more relaxing._

_Ashley kept giving me intense peculiar looks, but whenever I'd ask her about it, she'd quickly shake her head. Finally it dawned on me and I nodded to her and received a relieved look and a smile._

_"I left your gift in the house, Spence. I'll be right back," Ashley said loudly, drawing my mom's attention over to us._

_"Ok," I answered distractedly. I was trying to figure out which excuse I would use._

_"Everything ok?" my mom asked with concerned as she stared at my leg._

_I followed her eyes and saw my legs were shaking in anticipation. "Oh yeah, I-" Think Spencer, think! "-just have to pee," I rushed out. Bingo! I gave my mom an apologetic look and dashed to the back door._

_"Ash?" I called out quietly as I searched my house. "A-" I was cut off as I was forcefully pulled into my room. I smiled as I saw Ashley. "Sorry I took so long. I-"_

_She cut me off again, this time with her mouth. Much better in my opinion. "Ash," I moaned into her mouth, so thankful for my mom's obliviousness._

_"God it's been torture," she whined in between kisses. I nodded my agreement. Talking was overrated anyway._

_We broke apart momentarily to take in air. My lungs refused to believe that oxygen wasn't essential to living._

_I looked around my room and said teasingly, "So where's my present?"_

_"I can give you something to unwrap," she winked suggestively. I laughed and rolled my eyes at her comment. She feigned shock. "The Ashley Davies sexy come on has never been laughed at."_

_"Aw, I'm sorry," I apologized with fake sympathy. "Now where's my present?"_

_Ashley laughed and crossed her arms. "Nuh uh, you don't get it now, meanie."_

_"Please?" I pouted and put my face in front of hers._

_She shook her head. "Mm-mm."_

_"Well I will just have to make you change your mind." I kissed her lightly._

_"Mm, I like this game," she purred, pressing her mouth harder against mine._

_I pulled back slightly. "Now present time?"_

_"It's going to take a lot more convincing," she promised with a smile. Her hands walked their way up my thighs, coming to rest on my hips._

_"Gladly." I leaned in and kissed her again. She shifted so I was pressed between her and the wall, my hips instinctively pressing into hers which caused us both to gasp in pleasure._

_"God Spence," Ashley mumbled into the kiss, her tone turning me on more than I thought possible. I could definitely get used to hearing my name said that way._

_I touched my tongue to hers and she moaned again. "Who needs the fucking present anyway?" I swore as Ashley's hands slipped under the bottom of my shirt, brushing the bare skin of my lower back._

_"Spence," Ashley groaned. "God I love when you swear." Her hot hands slid further up my shirt._

_"I know," I smiled against her lips, cupping her face in my hands._

_Kissing her was amazing. It was good. So good. Too good. Too good to register my name being called from downstairs. Too good to hear the footsteps nearing. Not good enough to tune out the shouting._

_"What in the hell is going on?" my mom angrily demanded._

_Ashley and I sprung apart like we had been burned. Oh shit. Oh fuck! Not like this. Not like this!_

_"Mom I…" I couldn't think of what to say, and a quick look at Ashley told me she was just as flabbergasted._

_"Ashley, you are not allowed back over here. I suggest you leave. Now!" her voice never rose above a harsh whisper, and to me, it was so much worse than any shouting she could have done._

_I finally found my voice. "Mom stop."_

_"Now Ashley!" she grabbed Ashley's arm and yanked her out of my room._

_Not like this. Not like this, I repeated._

_"Stop it mom!" I begged with tears in my eyes. "You're hurting her."_

_"And you're killing me," she whispered angrily, still forcefully dragging Ashley towards the front door._

_"Ashley!" I cried brokenly. I ran to her and hugged her tightly. "I love her," I told my mom passionately._

_"Don't you dare," she ordered as she pulled Ashley away from me. "Don't you dare say that to her!"_

_"Let me go, Paula!" Ashley yanked her arm from my mom. I ran to Ashley and hugged her again. She put her arms around me and held me close. "Hey, it's ok Spence," she shushed me quietly, doing her best to comfort me despite the unshed tears clearly evident in her eyes. "It's best I go," she assured me with a kiss to my forehead._

_"Get. Away. From. Her," my mom breathed out dangerously._

_"You can't keep me away. You won't keep me away," Ashley promised threateningly as she walked to the door my mom so nicely held open._

_My mom glared hatefully at Ashley. "Watch me. I'll fix Spencer, just you wait. She's going to realize that this was just a phase, that you were part of her moment of confusion."_

_"What's going on?" my dad asked as he, Clay, and Glen approached us._

_I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. "Dad make her stop," I begged._

_"Paula?" my dad looked at my mom questioningly then to Ashley then me._

_"Arthur, I caught our daughter and Ashley-" she cut off as if it was too painful._

_"I don't have a name now?" I demanded from my dad's shirt._

_"I don't know who you are anymore," she said softly, bitterly. She turned to Ashley and shoved her hard. "Now get out of my house!"_

_"Stop it! I just want to be with her.!" I ran towards Ashley, only to be held back by my mom. _

_She pushed Ashley again, this time out the door. As soon as Ashley was out, my mom slammed the door closed. I dropped to the ground, tears streaming down my face._

_Not like this. Not like this._

_"Go to your room. You are not to talk to her," my mom ordered, pointing upstairs in case I momentarily forgot where my room was._

_I glared at her vehemently, mustering up as much anger as I could. "I hate you!" I didn't glance back as I stormed up to my room, only then releasing the full brunt of my tears._

"Spence?" my dad asked as he gently knocked on my door.

"Come in," I called from the corner of my room. "I'm so sorry, Dad," I sobbed, hugging the bear from Ashley close to me.

"Hey, it's ok, Spence," my dad consoled as he walked over to sit by me, putting a comforting arm around me.

"I didn't want you to find out, not like this," I whispered shaking my head. "I never wanted you to hate me."

He squeezed my shoulder. "Never, Spencer. I love you so much. This doesn't change that at all."

"Mom doesn't love me anymore." I buried my face in the bear. It smelled faintly of Ashley and I felt my heart break all over again.

"She does. She is just confused and hurt, that's all," he promised. "We'll get through this."

"I love her," I whispered back, "but I want us to be ok."

"I know you do, sweetie, and we will be ok. The two can go hand in hand. Your mom…she just needs time." He gave me an encouraging smile, the one that normally comforted me in seconds. This time, however, it did nothing.

I shook my head bitterly. "She needs a new daughter. She's just worried about what the neighbors will say."

He turned to me shocked. "You know that's not true, Spence."

"Maybe," I shrugged without conviction. He took it as a signal for the end of the conversation.

"I love you Spence, no matter who you are. I meant it when I talked to you about this long ago." He kissed me on my forehead and left.

I continued sitting in the corner, staring at my ceiling like I had been all day. The empty walls were a good contrast to the numerous thoughts filling my brain.

I don't remember what I did the rest of the day. I was a shell, simply going through the motions. The only thing I could singularly hold on to was 'not like this.' It wasn't supposed to happen, not like this.

Be careful what you wish for indeed.


	21. Out of the Blue

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So last chapter was pretty depressing, so I think you might like this chapter to lighten things up...a little bit at least. Also I just finished a one-shot called Change, so check it out :)__  
_

_-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 21: Out of the Blue

"_When something is pure _

_how can people just say we're not meant to be?_

_And when something is true _

_how can people just keep me away from you_?"

Aly & AJ

-

During my time of wall gazing, I absently heard the doorbell ring. Even though I hadn't left my room in two days, my mom still hurriedly raced to the door, as if convinced I might find random motivation to leave my cave to open the door and break free.

"What do _you_ want?" I heard my mom say 'sweetly.'

"I'm here to see Spencer." My heart stopped as I heard Ashley's voice and I quickly got up and went to the top of the stairs.

My mom held the door with one hand, apparently ready to slam it at any given point. "I told you to stay away."

I silently begged Ashley to look up at me. My voice wasn't working, so I prayed telepathy somehow would.

Ashley looked up at me as if hearing my thoughts. "Spencer," she whispered quietly, our eyes meeting for the first time in three days, even though it felt like forever.

My mom turned towards me. "Go back to your room, Spencer," she ordered.

I ignored my mom's request. "I'm so so sorry," I told Ashley, wanting nothing more than to run down and hug her.

Ashley shook her head and gave me a small smile. "Don't say that Spence. Ever." It was horrible hearing her use my nickname. It only served to break my heart more. "It's gonna be ok," she promised.

I prayed it wasn't an empty one, a false hope. We stared at each other for several moments, conveying so much with our locked eyes. Finally I broke the stare as I made up my mind up.

I walked down the stairs, feeling my heart beat faster with every step that brought me closer to Ashley. My mom stepped in between us. "Spencer go upstairs. You are forbidden to have anything to do with this girl!"

"This girl?" Ashley scoffed. "I am still in the room and I do have a name, Paula," she spat out. It fell on dead ears.

"Don't do this Mom," I begged. I just needed to hold Ashley, to breathe in her scent and know that everything really would be ok.

"I'm not the one who is doing anything wrong Spencer."

"God Paula, can't you see that you are killing her?" Ashley ran her hands through her hair.

"Me!? You are the one who made her this way," my mom pointed accusingly at Ashley.

Ashley glared at her for a second before turning to me. "I just opened her eyes." Her voice softened. "Her heart. Now if you could just open your eyes and open your mind."

"Why can't you accept me?" I pleaded weakly.

"Because this isn't you," she said adamantly. "You're confused and- and…and experimenting, that's all."

"I'm not that one in denial Mom, you are. I love her and I just want to be with her."

My mom gasped and put a hand up to her mouth. "Don't you ever say that again! Glen has told me stories about her. She's not right for you."

Ashley intervened. "And I suppose that's for you to decide? Not Spencer?"

My mom crossed her eyes defiantly. "It is when Spencer can't decide for herself."

I didn't even try to fight the tears. "It kills you that I'm gay…that I don't fit into your Hallmark life. You think I like knowing you can't accept me? Do you think I woke up one day and decided, 'Hey you know what, I'm going to be gay. That'll really set Mom off!' ?"

I paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted to tell you for so long, but I'm glad I didn't, because it gave me that much more time to be with Ashley. And no matter what happens now, you can't take that back." I didn't know where my confidence came from, but I wasn't going to question a good thing.

"Spence," Ashley smiled at me and moved past my mom and hugged me tightly. "Well be ok." She squeezed me tighter.

"I just want to be with you," I whispered to her, wondering how I survived three days without her- without this.

I felt myself being pulled back. "That's enough. You need to go Ashley," my mom again ordered.

Ashley gave me a defeated look and nodded. "I came to give you your present, Spence." She held up the small gift. "Sorry it's late."

"It's ok," I choked out, giving her a watery smile. My mom took the gift with surprising gentleness and held the door open wider for Ashley.

"I guess I'll see you later," Ashley said with a final look at me, and then she was gone, taking my heart with her.

My feet managed to take me back to my room, where I exhaustedly fell to my bed. I looked longingly towards my window, wondering if a two story jump would be fatal. And if not, wondering how far I could drag myself with two broken legs before I was caught.

I quickly crossed out that option as I realized that not only would I be further delayed from seeing Ashley, but I would be hospitalized, meaning I'd be spending even more time with my mom, and I knew no amount of morphine would trump that.

A light knock drew my attention to the door where my mom now stood. "Spence?" she said hesitantly, shifting my gift between her hands nervously.

"Just set it down," I croaked out as I turned my attention to my teddy bear.

"That's a cute bear," my mom attempted small talk.

"Ashley got it for me," I said shortly, feeling pleased as her eyes widened.

It was silent after that, and had I not felt her weight on my bed, I would have thought my mom had left. I saw her play with her fingernails, inwardly debating with herself before finally saying, "It's not right."

I looked up at her and gave her a hard look. "You're right," I agreed. "_This_ isn't right," I gestured to her.

"I just want you better," she said softly.

I stared at her incredulously. "I'm not sick, Mom, I'm gay."

She hesitantly picked at the bow on the wrapping paper. "Well once Ashley is gone you'll-"

"I'll what?" I cut her off. "I'll change my mind? I didn't choose this. God, after seeing what happened, why would I?"

She acted like I hadn't spoken. She was in her "blame everything on Ashley" zone. "She's pushing us apart."

I scoffed, "Ashley? No, Mom, you are. This whole time it's been you. YOU got a job and moved us here. YOU are having problems with Dad. YOU can't accept that the reason everything is falling apart is YOU." Honoring my mother was not on my to-do list. I wanted her to feel a fraction of how shitty I was feeling.

I slowly brought a hand up to my stinging cheek. The slapping noise was still resounding in my head. She slapped me! My mom had never hit me before.

She raised a hand to her mouth, obviously as surprised as I was. "Spencer, I…"

"Leave!" I breathed out through my tears.

"I didn't mean…God I-" she tried again, flinching in hurt as I shrugged off the hand she had put on my shoulder.

I grabbed my bear and turned on my stomach, pulling a pillow over my head to block her out. She took her cue and left, leaving me to my thoughts, tears, and regrets.

Hours later I looked over to the nightstand where the present sat. I maneuvered myself until I could grab it, cradling it gently as if it were precious china. The colorful wrapping ripped as I tore into the gift, finally making me feel something akin to excitement.

I laughed as I saw the card she had picked. It had three well built, hot guys in Speedos on the front. On the inside it read, '_With these guys here, why would you want to waste your birthday crying_?' while the song _It's My Party_ played.

On the left side of the card was a note Ashley had written.

_Spence, I know how much you'd appreciate the card. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Now you can live your fantasy every time you look at this card. You are welcome._

I laughed hard for a few moments. God she was too much. She always managed to cheer me up. I turned to the DVD I had opened up and put it in the player.

"Ok, so even though I'm filthy rich and gorgeous-" I laughed, "I couldn't think of what to buy you. You are freaking hard to shop for. I mean I looked all over and couldn't find a Church-Clothes-R-Us anywhere."

She smiled at her own corny joke. "Then it came to me. Ok, I lied, so I asked Chelsea…and Clay, and Glen, and your dad…and when that didn't work, I asked Jeeves. They don't lie about him, he really knows his shit." I smiled again and laughed, shaking my head at her craziness. "Anyway, so I bought you some flowers- I know, I about threw up from the cheesiness. But…since I forgot to water them-" she dropped off, letting me know they had wilted.

"-so then I decided to write you a song and sing it. You know," she said shyly, "since you've never heard me play before. So here it goes." She gave a pretty nose crinkling smile. "Oh, and it's called 'Until Then.' Ok, here it goes. No, for real this time. Ok," she breathed nervously and took a deep breath before beginning.

.

_"September twenty second seemed like an ordinary day_

_But little did I know that it wouldn't end that way_

_I'm glad that things don't always end the way that they begin_

_I remember (remember) the twenty second of September_

_Because my life didn't start until then_

_.  
_

_I can't pick my favorite memory, because in my mind they all stick out_

_You would walk into the room and I'd forget what I was thinking about_

_My heart would just stop beating, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly when_

_But I remember (remember) the twenty second of September_

_Because my heart didn't start beating until then_

_.  
_

_People would constantly tell me that we would never last_

_That I would never change my ways and let go of my past_

_That no one could ever tame me and I wouldn't let any one in_

_But I remember (remember) the fifth of December_

_Because I didn't know how to love until then."_

_.  
_

Her beautiful voice finished the last stanza and her expert fingers strummed the final cord. "Ok, so there you go. I hope you liked it. And even though Hallmark probably had a field day with the romanticism of it all, I meant every word."

"Ok, so I guess I can explain some of the lyrics, and not just because I need more time on this DVD." She gave the camera a pointed look, causing me to laugh again. "September 22nd we've talked about. That's the day we met. And December 5th, that's the day I realized I loved you. You probably didn't even know you did anything different- and maybe you didn't- but I fell in love all the same."

She put the guitar in its case and faced the camera again. "I was upset because my mom was getting on my nerves more than usual- she apparently decided to take herself out of running for Mom of the Month." Ashley laughed bitterly. "Anyway, so I text you and told you I was upset, and you helped cheer me up with your weird Spencer humor." She genuinely laughed.

"-and then a knock at my door revealed you. Well, and Ben and Jerry," she added with a smile. "All we did was talk, and when you hugged me and whispered it would be ok, I truly believed it for the first time in my life. And I knew I wanted to feel that safe every day. I knew with you I _could_ feel that way every day. And just like that I was in love."

"I love you Spencer, forever." Ashley gave a loving smile to the camera. "I hope my awesome speech and song make up for the tardiness. Bye!" She leaned in and gave a dramatic kiss to the camera lens.

I smiled happily as I turned off the TV. I knew I had fallen even more in love with Ashley. I didn't think it was possible to feel any stronger for Ashley than I did already, but the beautiful brunette never ceased to surprise me.

Despite my wonderful gift and the laughter that accompanied it, sadness still flowed through. How could anyone think that being with some one like her was wrong? How could my mom not see through Ashley's tough exterior like I had? It was people like my mom that made Ashley put up those walls. It was any wonder I was able to break them down.

A noise at my window interrupted my thoughts. Ashley? I dared myself to hope.

"Spence you there?" Ashley whispered from outside.

"Ashley?" I asked as I approached the window.

"Nah, a burglar," she retorted.

I snorted with laughter and opened my window to help her in. "You're one fine looking burglar."

"Oh you?" she asked as I stepped over to her. "Damn, wrong house." She walked back over to the window, only to have me pull her back and meet her lips in a kiss

She kissed me back passionately, her mouth opening to accept my tongue. "God Spence, I missed this so much. Missed you so much." I put my hands on her hips and nodded my agreement as I pressed into her more.

We broke apart and rested our forehead together as we held each other tight, both of us afraid to lose contact. "I hated not seeing you," I whispered to her cheek.

"Me too," she nodded lightly. "It's been torture not seeing you. Not hearing you. Not touching you." She stroked my face lovingly.

I grabbed her hand and led us to my bed to lie down. "Tonight you can. Tonight time stands still." I kissed her gently.

"Mm," she contently agreed, closing her eyes. We laid in silence for a few moments, basking in each others presence and love.

"So I watched my birthday gift," I said softly.

Ashley turned over onto her stomach and hid her face into my side in embarrassment. "Yeah?"

I ran a hand through her soft hair. "I loved it. It was the best gift I've ever gotten," I told her sincerely.

She turned back on to her side and smiled at me. "I'm glad. You deserved it."

"And my song," I kissed her cheek. "You have such a beautiful voice. You are so talented."

Her smiled widened. "Thanks. It's easy to sing and write about something you love," she shrugged.

"And do you love me?" I questioned with a nudge of my shoulder into hers.

"Hmm," she debated with a pensive look. "Yeah I do," she laughed as I hit her arm playfully. She pulled the chain of my necklace. "You sleep in it?" she asked sweetly.

I nodded and put my hand over hers. "I like having you close to my heart."

"Spence," she smiled. "I love you. So much." She gave me sweet kiss which I happily returned.

I goofily smiled as we broke a part and stared into her eyes. "I love you too, Ash. Nothing my mom does will change that," I promised whole-heartedly,

She kissed me again and wrapped her arm around my waist as she rested her head in the crook of my neck. She placed a light kiss there and I shivered in delight. "You like that?" she asked huskily, her warm breath tickling my neck.

"Yeah," I moaned out, arching into her instinctively.

"Mm, you smell so good," she purred into my neck, continuing to place feather light kisses there.

"Ash," I begged desperately.

She lifted her head slightly. "Yeah Spence?" she asked, her voice even raspier than before.

"Don't tease," I softly pleaded, pulling her face up so our lips could meet.

She smiled into the kiss. "Yes ma'am." She lightly bit my lower lip, making me groan.

I rolled over and moved so I was straddling her, our bodies fully connecting. I felt her moan her approval, the sound sending heat straight to my core.

"God Spence, you never manage to stop surprising me."

My breath caught as her hands ran from my thighs to slip underneath my shirt. "Good thing?" I managed out.

"Fuck yeah," she answered quickly before claiming my lips once again. I moaned under the wonderful assault. It all felt amazing. The way her tongue danced with mine, the way her hips rose to mine causing my center to burn even hotter, the way her soft hands left trails of fire wherever they went.

We heard footsteps and broke apart quickly as we remembered our last encounter with mysterious footsteps. "Shit," I panicked, "what do we do?"

"Act natural?" Ashley supplied unhelpfully and received an eye roll from me.

Deciding for us, I quickly pushed Ashley off the bed, shushing her '_What the hell!?_' that was angrily whispered

"You ok Spencer?" my dad asked as he poked his head through the door.

"Y-yeah fine." I gently kicked Ashley's hand that was running up my calf.

"I heard you moaning. Were you having a bad dream?"

I blushed in mortification, extremely grateful for the darkness. "Yeah, it was the clowns again," I lied, hoping that reminding him of an old recurring dream would help convince him of the lie.

He laughed quietly. "Ok honey, well sleep tight. And remember, clowns don't have that big of a spoon in real life to eat you with."

"Night Dad." I silently breathed a sigh of relief as he began closing the door.

"Night Ashley," he called out through the crack. BUSTED!

"Night Mr. C," Ashley laughingly answered from the floor. My dad smiled again and closed the door softly.

"Sorry I pushed you off," I said with a guilty look as I pulled her back on the bed.

"It's all good. Though I have to say, I much prefer your dad's reaction to us than your mom's."

I laughed and pushed her gently. "Well both are mood killers for sure."

Ashley gave me a seductive look. "You a-mean you don't a-still a-want me?" she said in a poor Italian accent.

I laughed loudly. "Go to sleep, Mario."

She laughed and then looked at me seriously. "I'm just glad I'll finally be able to sleep." She gave me a significant look, leaving me know doubt what she was saying.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, me too," I whispered. "I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, Spence." She began threading her fingers through my hair, and I quickly fell asleep, finally complete again.

Thus began our nightly ritual. Ashley always left early so she could get ready for school…and mostly to avoid my mom. My dad didn't ever bring up our sleeping arrangement up, but he always gave me a look to remind me that he knew.

I didn't care that he knew, but he could have at least let me lock my door. No, not for that reason, I just didn't want a repeat performance of my birthday if my mom walked in. I'm sure Ashley didn't either considering she was the one who was shoved out the door.

Mom finally allowed me to go back to school after I continually told her that I'd never be able to catch up. I knew playing the failing card would convince her.

I was just glad she didn't have me transferred. Apparently she forgot that Ashley and I could find ways to see each other. Apparently she also forgot that Ashley and I had class together and that we both knew how to use hall passes. But hey, I wasn't going to complain about her senile tendencies- it worked out nicely for me.

My mom just didn't realize that she couldn't stop us. Couldn't stop this. I just wished she would have given up trying.


	22. Your Guardian Angel

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Uh oh, only two chapters left after this one! This one is short. It was part of a bigger chapter but I wanted to divide it up- so I did. Anyway, this is pretty much Spencer/Paula stuff, but I feel its necessary. I don't want to just skim over it and make it seem like everything is suddenly rainbows and sunshine between them.  
_

_-I just finished a one-shot called Change, so check it out :) I'm debating whether to make it longer, but I'm working on another story too so who knows. Most likely it will be a while if I do decide to expand it.__  
_

_-And always: Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers and everyone who adds me or this story to their favorites!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 22: Your Guardian Angels

"_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven._"

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

-

_Ding dong!_

"I'll get it," I called out as I walked to the door. "Hello?" I asked confused as I regarded the young man at my door.

"Hey I'm Josh." He stuck out his hand and smiled.

"Um, hi?" I said as I shook his hand briefly. "Not to be rude, but who are you?"

He gave a laugh. "I told you, I'm Josh. Wow you're hot."

I gave him a strange look, not really appreciating his cute humor-if you could call it that. "I mean, who are you and what do you want?" I tried my best to sound polite.

"Well that depends. Are you Spencer?" He gave another laugh, one I was becoming quite annoyed with.

Alright buddy, enough with the cryptic stuff. "Yeah. How did you know?" Ok so not only was he cryptic, he was apparently a mind reader as well.

"Oh, hey Josh!" my mom said cheerfully, interrupting Josh from answering me. "You got here just in time," she said as she looked at her watch.

"Mom what is going on? Why is this guy here?" I asked with irritation.

"I'm taking you to the movies." Yep, he did another laugh. "Are you ready?"

I gave an annoyed look to my mom, knowing she was behind this. "No," I said shortly.

"Well go get ready then Spence," my mom smiled pleasantly.

"What the hell, Mom? Why are you doing this?" I demanded as I glared between her and Josh. I knew he was innocent in it all, but still.

She smiled brightly. "Honey, Josh came to take you to the movies." I swear if either one of them smiled again, I'd go freaking insane.

"Oh really!?" I said with false giddiness. "Wow, that's great! Thanks, Mom. I'll just stop being in love with a girl and get right on that!" I gushed.

"Whoa, you're gay?" Josh asked in confused tone.

I gave him an unimpressed look. "That's usually what a girl liking another girl means," I deadpanned.

"Spencer, you will not treat him like that," my mom ordered, throwing Josh an apologetic look.

I scoffed angrily. "You mean treat him like you treat me, Mom? Treat him like complete shit? Treat him like he doesn't exist or that he has something wrong with him?!"

Josh looked really uncomfortable. "Um, I can go. Yeah, I uh…I'm gonna go," he awkwardly sputtered out as he pointed to his car and quickly left. We barely noticed his departure.

"Spencer," my said softly, "I do not treat you like that. I am only trying to show you love and compassion."

I laughed bitterly and crossed my arms, shaking my head as I said, "If that's your way of showing love and compassion, I'd definitely much rather have Ashley's version."

"Spencer this isn't you. This isn't the life you want. Nothing good can come of that life." Her tone was pleading this time.

I felt tears build behind my eyes. "Mom, you act like I chose this. I didn't, it just happened. But something good did come out of it. Ashley came out of it. Why can't you see how happy she makes me?" I felt the tears start to softly fall.

"This is happy?" she gestured to my tears. "That's how you want to feel everyday?"

"That's how you make me feel, Mom, not Ashley." I grabbed my necklace. "This is what Ashley makes me feel, Mom. Trust. Compassion. Love," I whispered. "We can go through this conversation so many times and not get anywhere. The fact of the matter is it comes down to you. Can _you_ accept me being gay? Can _you_ accept that I love Ashley?" I gave her a piercing look. "And I don't think you can, Mom. I don't think you will."

"Spencer!" she called out as I started walking away. I turned to her and raised my eyebrows questioningly. "I just…I want things to be ok with us. I just…can't accept it, not at this point." I nodded in sad understanding and walked away from my mom, just like she figuratively walked away from me some weeks ago.


	23. Who's to Say

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_So I actually did a little bit of research for this just to make sure I wasn't giving false information. Anyway, this chapter has some more Spashley smut, so smut away :)  
_

_-I just finished a one-shot called Change, so check it out :) I'm debating whether to make it longer, but I'm working on another story too so who knows. Most likely it will be a while if I do decide to expand it.__  
_

_-And always: Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers and everyone who adds me or this story to their favorites!!!!  
_

_-  
_

Chapter 23: Who's to Say

"_Who's to say we won't stay together?_

_Who's to say we aren't getting stronger_

_Who's to say I can't live without you_

_Who are they anyway_

_Anyway, they don't know._"

Vanessa Carlton

-

It's funny the things you can come to unspoken agreements about. But that's what mom and I did. We made a silent pact to get over our differences-or at least pretend they weren't there- and tried to maintain a semblance of a mother-daughter relationship.

She even went as far as to occasionally ask about Ashley, though it still looked as if she were at gun point while mentioning the brunette. But I knew that was my mom's way of trying, and I could accept it for what it was- an attempt.

She and I were watching TV on the couch one afternoon. Don't worry, I purposefully avoided any channel that would even so much as mention _Will & Grace _in a commercial, let alone display the actual show.

I was feeling strangely lethargic and moody, something my mom quickly picked up on. A sharp pain shot through my chest and I put a hand over my chest in surprise.

"Sweetie, are you ok?" she asked with concern as she heard my sharp intake of breath.

"Yeah, just tired I guess," I said with a shrug. I quickly threw the blanket off as I suddenly felt very warm. "I got really hot," I explained at my mom's raised eyebrows. I loudly coughed, doing my best to hold the rest in as my mom gave me a questioning look.

"You sure you're ok?" she said slightly worried.

"Yeah," I nodded, but allowed her to put her hand up to my forehead.

She pulled her hand back. "Honey, you're burning up!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "I know Mom, I just told you that."

"No, I mean you're really warm. I think you might be sick!" She sounded slightly panicky and I rolled my eyes as she ran to the bathroom to get the thermometer. I knew she was a doctor and all, but seriously, she was acting like I had cancer or something.

"I'm fine!" I called out to the hallway in between coughs, my moodiness creeping up swiftly.

"Open up," she ordered seconds before she shoved the thermometer in my mouth. "Now just lay there."

Good advice, Mom. Because I totally was just about to sprint through the house before you told me that. I rolled my eyes to myself. I really hated getting my temperature taken. It always felt like the longest seconds of my life waiting for the stupid thing to beep so I could see it flash _98.6 _on its screen.

It finally beeped and my mom took it from my mouth and stared at it. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed, causing me to whip my head around worriedly. I didn't like her tone.

"What?" I said slightly concerned now. I shivered suddenly and grabbed my blanket and huddled underneath it. "Mom, can I have your sweatshirt? Why is it so cold in here?" I coughed again and moaned pathetically as pain once again shot through my chest.

"Spencer you have a fever. One hundred and two point five!" She felt my head again as if somehow it would have cooled off in the two seconds since she last touched it. "Does your chest hurt?" I nodded and she put a hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"Oh God, what does that mean? Am I dying?" I asked a little dramatically, sending myself into a coughing fit. I couldn't help it if I was a little paranoid. I mean hello, that was almost four degrees hotter than normal! I wasn't normal and now I was dying.

My mom laughed a little and placed a cool rag on my forehead. "No sweetie, you aren't. I think you just have pneumonia," she said reassuringly.

"Just have pneumonia?" I repeated incredulously. I made myself calm down. "So what, like a cold?" I shrugged nonchalantly.

She gave me a pitying look and said, "A little bit more serious. Why don't you get in the car and I'll grab you some stuff."

My eyes widened. "Why am I getting in the car? You're taking me to the hospital, aren't you," I sighed in resignation. "I'm fine Mom, really I am." I stood up quickly, instantly regretting that choice as I felt dizzy and felt myself fall back to the couch. "Woo," I breathed out once the room stopped spinning.

"Come on, honey," my mom said gently. She grabbed my arm and walked me to the car.

"Ok," I agreed softly, realizing it would be better if I just went along with it.

My mom came back to the car after a moment with her a bag in one hand and a water bottle in the other. "Here, take this," she said as she handed me some pill I assumed was Tylenol. For all I knew it could have been Oxy, but I doubted my mom would waste the good stuff on me. Plus I highly doubted she carried Oxy with her in her purse, but who knew?

"Ok," I consented again, willing to take anything she handed me as long as it made me drowsy like this pill was doing.

I opened my eyes and found myself in a dark hospital room, the moonlight shining through the window being the only source of light, well other than the monitor I was hooked up to. I looked down and saw I had on a hospital gown, which brought on the question of who put it on…and why?

"Mom?" I whispered unsurely. I don't know why I whispered, but it kind of was creepy sitting in the dark and I felt like speaking any louder would alert all the creepos and bring them to my room. Don't bother trying to make sense of it.

"Sorry, just me."

"Ashley!?" I said in surprise, squinting into the darkness as if that would some how illuminate things better.

"Yeah," she said as I felt the bed dip down from her weight. "How are you feeling?" she asked gently, her low voice being unable to completely hide her fear. She gently threaded her fingers through my hair.

"Fine. It's just pneumonia," I said with a brave face, making the brunette smile.

"_Just_ pneumonia?" she asked with a small laugh.

"I know, that's what I said!" I smiled as she stroked my arm timidly. "So even though I'm really glad you're here, why are you here? Did stalking me finally pay off?" I teased.

She laughed a little more at my comment and shook her head. "You text me, crazy. The medicine must have you delirious."

I gave her a confused look. "No I didn't. I got in the car and then woke up in this bed. I don't even have my phone."

We regarded each other for a moment, both deep in thought. "Well then who text me?" she asked softly.

"God?" I supplied.

She finally let out a full laugh. "I doubt it. Last I checked, I wasn't on his call list. But really," she turned serious, "how are you?" Her brown eyes stared into mine with loving concern.

I shrugged. "I've been better. My chest hurts kind of bad and I keep needing to cough." As I said this I felt a fit take over me. I turned away from her and coughed loudly, holding a hand over my chest and trying my best to fight of the urge to grimace in pain. "Exhibit A," I joked once I stopped.

Ashley didn't appreciate my humor. "Spencer," she said with worry. "They are making you better, right?" She looked down at her lap as she became unable to hold eye contact.

"Hey," I whispered gently as I took her hand (no, not with the one I coughed on), "I'm going to be fine," I assured her with a smile. "Really the only reason I am here is so that I could wear this hot gown." I gestured down to the hideous green outfit.

Ashley laughed despite herself and smiled. "I should be the one cheering you up, but I'm just scared," she admitted shyly. "I should be stronger."

I shook my head at her with a smile. "Ashley, don't you know I don't need you to be strong? I just need you to be here. And you are, and that's all I need. All I'll ever need." I began stroking the soft skin of her hand.

She smiled at me tenderly. "I love you Spencer," she breathed out and placed a light kiss in my hair. "Now go to sleep. It's already past visiting hours and I don't want to get kicked out for keeping you up," she said gently and gave me another soft kiss.

"Ok," I pouted. "I love you too," I smiled, staring into her chocolate eyes. "And I'll get better so I can get a proper kiss," I promised.

She smiled again and put her arm around me to hold me to her. "Please stay," I begged, not sure if she was planning on leaving, but needing her beside me. I felt her nod and I smiled and settled into her more. I sighed contently and with her presence-and the help of the drugs, of course- I quickly fell asleep.


	24. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.**

**A/N: **_Ahh it's finally here, the finale. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through it all. So many thanks are sent your way. And so I bid you ado and good reading :D  
_

_-And always: Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers and everyone who adds me or this story to their favorites!!!!_

**Special thanks to my most loyal reviewrs: **WillowOn3, ROCK. , Galmil, and xEyeKissedAGirlx. **You guys seriously made my day with all of your awesome reviews. Thanks again :)**

_-  
_

Chapter 24: Epilogue

"_Every time I try to rise above_

_I'm swept away by love_

_Baby I can't help it_

_You keep me drowning in your love._"

Backstreet Boys

-

"I'm sorry, I just…I was…See I just came to-" I heard Ashley stammer as she tried to explain something to an unknown person. My eyes felt too heavy with sleep and exhaustion to open and I was too tired to particularly care who she was taking to.

"It's ok, Ashley." A familiar voice assured my girlfriend. Mom??!! I don't know why I was so surprised, she was a doctor after all. They do tend to be in hospitals. My eyes quickly opened after figuring out her identity.

Ashley went on as if she hadn't heard my mom. "I know that it is past hours and everything, but I just wanted to make sure she was ok, and she begged me to stay and I just didn't want to leave her when I couldn't check up on her," Ashley rambled on, causing me to smile at her cute nervousness. "Not that I think the hospital staff can't do their job, because I'm sure they do great," she hastily reassured my mom. "And I know you're a doctor and will make sure Spencer is taken care of and I…yeah," she finally dropped off.

"Ashley," my mom said, and I could hear the smirk in her voice, "it's ok. I saw you when I came in about two hours ago, and I told the staff to allow it."

I'm sure both mine and Ashley's eyes widened in surprise. "You-you did?" she asked in amazement.

"Yes. Why would I tell you to come here and then kick you out?"

"You…you told me to come here? I'm confused," Ashley said unsurely. I was just thankful for that semi-darkness that hid my opened eyes. I didn't want them to be alert of my presence yet.

"The text," my mom explained.

Ashley was taken aback. "That was you?" she asked incredulously.

"Ashley," my mom sighed, "I know we don't have the best relationship, but I knew how much Spencer would want you here." She sounded strangely resigned.

"I…I don't know what to…wow… Thanks, Pa- um, Mrs. C." I looked and saw Ashley nervously shuffling her foot on the floor. "Is she…is she going to be ok?" she said after a moment.

A surprisingly caring look appeared on my mom's face, and she walked over to where Ashley was and put her hands on Ashley's shoulders. "Yeah, she'll be fine," my mom assured her. "She's just going to need to stay in here for a few days so she can get a couple shots and get some medicine. That's all."

"I…I," Ashley said softly, and I was surprised to hear her crying. "Thanks," she whispered brokenly and then threw herself onto my mom in a tight hug.

"You're welcome sweetie," my mom answered just as softly, her arms going around the brunette to comfort her. "Besides," my mom said with a smile as they broke apart, "you're the one who gets to hold Spencer's hand while she gets her shots. And just so you know, she's a big baby and has got one hell of a grip."

I heard Ashley's broken laugh and saw her smile back at my mom in gratitude. "That's more than fine. I brought an iron glove just in case."

I felt myself laugh lightly, which of course turned into an all out cough fest. "Spence?" my mom questioned.

Busted. "Um, sleeping?" I tried out.

"Really?" Ashley asked amused as she walked over to my bed. "Then why aren't you snoring?"

"Hey," I acted affronted, "I'm sick, be nice to me," I said as I gave a fake, pitiful cough. I turned and pointed to my laughing mom. "You too," I chastised.

My mom put her hands up in innocence and walked over and gave me a kiss on my forehead. "I've got to go chart you. I'll be back later. Get some sleep," she ordered softly with a significant glance to Ashley.

"Aye, aye, Paula," Ashley saluted. "So that was completely weird!" Ashley exclaimed as my mom left.

I shared a surprised look with Ashley. "You don't need to tell me. I'm still trying to figure out who spiked my mom's tea and what they put in it."

"My guess is valium," Ashley joked, making me hit her softly. "Good thing we're in a hospital and they can fix up my broken arm," she teased lightly.

"You love the abuse. It just shows I care," I countered with a smile.

"You know what I love even more?" she asked as she kissed my hand softly. "A healthy Spencer."

I laughed lightly. "Well if you keep hanging around me, you're going to be an unhealthy Ashley," I pointed out. "Unless they changed the meaning of viral."

"Well," she considered for a moment, "then I get to wear that sexy gown and you get to come take care of me," she said with a bright smile. "Sounds good to me. It's a win-win. Oh yeah!" she said suddenly as she walked over to the windowsill. "I got you something."

I tried looking behind her back where my present was hiding, giving a pout when she wouldn't show me. "What is it?" I asked excitedly.

"It's-" she paused for dramatic effect. "-a happy walrus!" she whipped out the stuffed animal and had it give me a kiss. I couldn't help the smile that made its way on my face- I loved her goofiness.

"I'm going to have a whole zoo by next year," I teased, but I happily hugged him to me and gave her a big smile.

"Ah, you know you love Wally," Ashley cooed with a smile, apparently deciding to name the Walrus that. She had such an eloquent, clever way with names.

"Oh I do," I assured her with a nod. "I'm just worried about what happens when all the animals you give me decide to rebel and go all _Gulliver's Travels_ on me." I playfully regarded Wally for a few seconds, staring into his marble eyes as I tried to ascertain his true motives.

Ashley waved off my words. "Nah, I had a talk with Wally before. He knows the consequences." She pointed a stern finger at Wally.

"I don't know," I said in an unconvinced tone. "His other mommy is leaving him. I know how I get when she's not around, so I hope his isn't that bad."

Ashley gave me a sweet look and leaned in to kiss me. I quickly intercepted the kiss by shoving Wally in her face. "H-hey," she sputtered with a laugh as she brushed fur off of her lips.

I shrugged innocently and gave her a beaming smile. "I've already bragged about his mommy's kisses. He just wanted a sample," I pouted lightly.

"Well if I wanted fur on my lips I just would have gone and kissed you on the lips," she

countered with a smile.

"Ha ha," I fake laughed and rolled my eyes. I looked at Ashley absently stroking Wally's fur and I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" Ashley asked softly as she saw me smiling at her.

I put a hand over hers and smiled wider as she intertwined our fingers. "I just love how sweet you are, that's all."

Ashley smiled and looked down shyly. She lifted her head back up and met my eyes. "Only for you," she told me truthfully.

"Good," I told her seriously before taking Wally from her and snuggling him into my side. "Night Ash," I breathed into the night.

"Good night, Spence," she said softly, giving me a kiss. "And good night, Wally." She leaned back down and gave the walrus a loud kiss. I smiled at her tenderly and traced her cheek briefly in adoration before a medicated sleep overcame me.

---

I woke up some of the times that my mom came in the room to check on me. Ashley was in a chair that she had scooted over to sit right by my bed. I wouldn't let her sleep in the bed with me for fear of her getting sick- and not to mention the fear that my mom wouldn't be _that _lenient.

Sometimes I made soft conversation with my mom as not to disturb the gorgeous brunette slumbering next to me. Mostly I was content to feign sleep and watch my mom in her element.

The first time I woke up from her coming in was around one in the morning. I peered at her through half opened eyes, watching her flit about the room and check my vitals and other doctor stuff I didn't understand. I was about to close my eyes when I heard her open the closet door.

I glanced over there in interest and was surprised to see my mom pulling a blanket out. She walked over to my bed and I quickly shut my eyes and tried to fake deep, even breathing until she left.

Expecting to feel the blanket on me, I opened my eyes in confusion when I didn't see it on my bed. I felt myself tear up and a get a watery smile as I saw where the blanket had ended up.

Ashley mumbled incoherent words and pulled the blanket tighter around her body before her slow breathing once again filled the room. I looked up at the ceiling of my room and couldn't help but feel so many things. Overwhelment, love, happiness, surprise; it was all there.

It all morphed into one as I thought about my mom. She wasn't exactly pulling out her rainbow t-shirt yet, but I knew that she was at least starting to buy the buttons.

As I continued to stare at the ceiling, I felt faith. As I looked out the window, I felt hope. And as I looked at Ashley beside me, I felt love.

My house, school, the hospital. It didn't matter where I was, as long as Ashley was there. Because where Ashley was, my heart was. And where my heart was, my whole life was.

My life-the pool of life. You can float by and act like nothing effects you. You can swim and try to fight the inevitable. But me? I think I don't mind sinking so much now, because the pool I'm in…it's bottomless. And I'm content with drowning because I realized that's what I've been doing this whole time. I don't need to surface to breathe because that's precious seconds wasted that I'll never get back. So I'll spend my life being surrounded by life. I'll spend my life drowning.

And did I mention this before? Well let me say it now. Thank God for new schools!

THE END

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_I have another WIP called Invisible. I'm trying to get further along in it before I post it, so stay tuned ;) Also feel free to check out __Change__- a one shot I recently posted._


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